Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
|
PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
phase II... HELLO !! THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY
Because honestly, dating monsters? Not the kind of date style he fancies. So, yes- Hijikata may be slightly cranky? He was just going to go through the motions of this simulator and get back to his life but he only heaves a sigh at Kanesada's outburst. ]
Quiet down, this game is obviously messing with us. They like to do that.
[ So, well Hijikata's been having a rough week- something happened so there's a pretty noticeable cast around his leg? Yes, it's kind of broken. Since he doesn't have anything to keep him standing he's sort of using his sword as a last minute walking stick... His Kanesada, actually (sorry Kanesada, don't get too offended?). ]
I don't think they care about us being accurate though... By the looks of it. If only there was a door for 'none of the above'. [ Hijikata has yet to pick a door... He's kind of stubborn and doesn't want to go through a door? That's almost like admitting he isn't strong/smart/charismatic. He's kind of offended right now. ]
Hello! I hope recognizing Hijikata is alright
Hijikata-san...
[ And he just gives a slow, slow look towards the version of himself that Hijikata is currently employing as a walking stick, and instead of appearing offended, he's confused. Weirded-out. But the pressure that Hijikata exerts on his own Kanesada doesn't seem to be affecting Kanesada himself, so he goes ahead and assumes that this is how he can support him in the modern era. As a walking stick. ] What happened?
[ But obviously, there's no one that can understand his coolness and his strength and his popularity better than Hijikata himself, the very man that he takes after! So he puts a dramatic hand to his chest, and lifts his chin, speaking with certainty. And he fully expects Hijikata to understand, whether he actually does or not. This is the young, exuberant sword that you've raised, Hijikata... He's full of hopes and dreams. ]
We definitely can't go through these doors.
[ Because doing so would mean that they do lack charisma, strength, and intelligence, right? And while Horikawa was the one who inherited most of Hijikata's brilliant strategies, Kanesada has the other two. He promises. He...... pinky promises.
Alright, maybe he doesn't promise entirely. ]
thumbs up! perfectly fine
This is practically nothing. But I get fussed at if I put pressure on it anyway. [ Except... It still kind of hurts? His stubbornness might be the death of him someday, but Hijikata doesn't like looking bad in front of new people okay! And it's already bad enough since it's noticeable, ugh...
It was kind of weird how he mentioned Hijikata's name without a second thought. He should... Know this guy, maybe? If he was from his home Shinsengumi HQ he'd recognize him off the bat! So he crosses that out- hmm...
Well, first there's a scoff before he says anything else. ] Hell no, I wouldn't. That's almost like admitting defeat.
[ And after saying that... Ah, now he remembers. It's pretty simple now that he thinks about it more from his conversations with Horikawa. That kid practically visited Hijikata everyday, so they talked a lot. Be proud Kanesada, you were a topic a lot of the times! ]
You're... Izuminokami Kanesada, aren't you. [ Might as well get that guess out of the way! ]
no subject
But when he hears his own name coming from Hijikata's mouth, he feels his heart swell with pride, and while he does try to contain his excitement, he's not too... successful at it, eyes sparkling with obvious wonder and amazement. Horikawa has always lectured him on his impulsivity, but in this situation, there's no need to hold that back, because he needs Hijikata to know who he is — to Kanesada, that's the most immediate priority. ]
The one and only!
[ He's not some replica, and he's certainly not some Yamanbagiri. Crafted for Hijikata Toshizou and used only by Hijikata Toshizou, Izuminokami Kanesada is the genuine thing. Even if he was smithed by some later generation Kanesada. ]
Can't you tell by looking at me? Or by looking at this?
[ Instead of sounding cocky, he seems far more energetic, like an excited puppy that hasn't seen its master for a century, which is... exactly what Kanesada is. He even turns around, so that he can show Hijikata the haori around his shoulders. ]
no subject
But yes, he knew he saw a Haori, although he's wearing it a bit different! There's a small nod. ]
Both, I suppose.
[ It's not every day you meet someone that sort of... Almost looks exactly like you? Horikawa did say that Kanesada does resemble Hijikata himself quite a lot, despite Horikawa looking a bit more differently; Hijikata did notice that Horikawa did take after him in several ways: hard-working, loyal, and much more. It's nice to see him don the Haori like Yasusada, the striking red clothes (that Hijikata still tends to wear if he feels like it), and the long black hair. ]
Horikawa talked about you a lot, you know. It's nice to finally meet the real you, I've heard a lot.
[ Hijikata admits he was definitely extremely curious. You meet sword number 1 as some kind of spirit person thing, so he wanted to meet sword number 2? These swords have been with him at his hip for almost his entire life while he was in the Shinsengumi, his gratefulness towards these swords is practically endless. ]
Sorry you have to meet me like this though, if I could make a better entrance I would. [ Broken leg and all. There's some sarcasm in his voice- his best attempt at cracking some kind of joke. Though, hopefully Kanesada isn't one to judge! ]
no subject
You mean Kunihiro, right?
[ 'Horikawa', 'Kunihiro', same person; it's just that to Kanesada, he's far less accustomed to hearing Kunihiro's first name, because he's... Kunihiro. It's the name that Kanesada shouts at least thirty times per day: whenever his silky hair tangles into a knot, whenever he has trouble dressing himself in the mornings, and certainly whenever he trips over his own two feet and needs his bruised ego massaged. Even if Kanesada will never admit it, he values Horikawa's presence as his self-proclaimed, dependable assistant.
So it's only natural that Horikawa has already put in a good word for him already, but he's still grateful. And now, Hijikata's saying that it's nice to meet him?? How can he not be excited over this???? Not unlike a stubborn child, he immediately shakes his head. His braid follows his movements. ]
No, no, it's fine. [ To him, there's no shame in meeting Hijikata even with a broken leg; the fact that he's even speaking to Hijikata at all is something beyond his wildest dreams. Because he vividly remembers being sent away before Hijikata's last battle, and to this day, it's one of his greatest regrets.
But guessing where the injury came from is a different story. Kanesada isn't familiar with his surroundings, other than these flashing dressing room signs that exist for no other purpose than to insult him. And he's sure that it's not possible to incur injuries of that degree in a nearly empty dressing room. ]
Is that a battle wound?
no subject
That's him. [ Should he tell Kanesada? Obviously, with the way Horikawa talked about him they both must be really close- it only makes sense, these two swords are both extremely important to Hijikata and they never left his side. Might as well burst the bubble early as much as he doesn't want to since he misses Horikawa as well... To admit it does get rather lonely when someone that visits you 90% of the time just gets up and disappears without a trace one day. ]
But... We only knew each other for a rather short time before he disappeared. Yet, Kiyomitsu told me that's normal of this place, people come and go but they might return. That doesn't sound normal to you, does it?
[ While Kiyomitsu says it's normal, Hijikata still finds it really odd. Poor Kiyomitsu though, he's been here way longer than Hijikata has and he has to deal with people coming and going all the time. Honestly, he's more bothered by the fact that this is deemed 'normal'. People disappearing over and over again doesn't seem right.
He sighs. ]
So, you're mostly right. Long story short we got dragged underground. I got into a fight, simple as that. [ A pause. ] Or more like, I was trying to protect someone... I suppose.
It'll heal though. Not like this little injury will kill me. [ Because he's Hijikata Toshizou, and Demons straight from hell can't let a simple injury get the better of them! Hijikata is just... Impatient and hates being stuck in bed, especially when there's a lot of work to be done. ]
no subject
That guy... [ He clicks his tongue. ] He's always disappearing. [ Even here, he's vanishing. No matter what Kanesada does, he just can't catch up with Horikawa. ] You see, after you...... Anyway, there's a museum made just for you, called the Hijikata Toshizou Museum! Every year, I get to see tons of people that visit and want to learn about you. Isn't that the coolest thing? Tell me it isn't the coolest thing, I dare you.
[ But, his enthusiasm is short-lived. He dips his head, his bright smile fading. ] Kunihiro isn't there, though. It's just me. I don't know where he is.
[ It's Horikawa's job to look after him, not the other way around, but that doesn't stop Kanesada from feeling guilty anyway. He remembers the first few weeks of trying to do things on his own, calling out Kunihiro, only to stop mid-word. Yet, it certainly won't do to sadden himself before his former master. So he blinks away all of his almost-there tears, brushing the corners of his eyes and his hair in one, swift hand movement. ]
That sounds like you. They made it out alive, right? With you to protect them. [ Despite his demonic reputation, Hijikata is a dependable person. At least, that's what Kanesada thinks. There's not much that Hijikata can do that he'd consider wrong.
Looking back at the leg injury, he lifts a finger to point at the himself that's being used as a walking cane, making what seems to be a childish, obvious statement, but it's a statement that Horikawa would immediately interpret as "give praise". He wonders if Hijikata will do the same. ] I'm helping.
no subject
I never thought that would be possible.
[ Though, he isn't going to lie to himself- it does sound pretty cool. The thought of it almost makes Hijikata's own ego swell! Look, Souji always makes fun of Hijikata being a wet blanket and not being popular. That aside, it sounds like a big honour to have an entire museum named after you?
He'll nod in response to Kanesada's statement though agreeing that it's just him. HOWEVER... ]
Kiyomitsu is here, so that's something. [ All the swords seem to know eachother, and he just... Kind of presumes that the Shinsengumi swords are close in some kind of weird way because Shinsengumi members are like family! They must stick together! It must be disappointing nonetheless... Horikawa always talked about Kanesada a lot. ]
Rather keep people safe, even if it costs me a leg. [ as much as he dislikes the entire healing process, but it's better than completely losing the leg, you know? Thinking positive here. ]
Of course. [ He couldn't help but crack a tiny, appreciative smile. ] If you weren't strong, I wouldn't be using you to keep me upright now, isn't that right?
no subject
Kiyomitsu... [ Does Hijikata recall one of Okita's blades breaking? Unsure, so it goes unmentioned. ] How's he been doing? He's still the same, isn't he? Skin clear, nails painted, always fussing over his looks, always has something to say. [ Just like the Shinsengumi members themselves, the swords of the Shinsengumi are close to each other. Even more so, if they're being employed by the same master: Kanesada's patience wanes whenever Horikawa doesn't respond to his name; Yamato and Kashuu, for their constant squabbles, are inseparable.
But... that's praise, isn't it? Immediate praise. He understood. Hijikata understood.
Kanesada lets out the loudest gasp in the entire history of gasps, and that isn't just happiness that his bright eyes are sparkling with. ]
Hijikata-san, you understand.
[ He can't cry in front of Hijikata. He can't. He won't. He's not going to. He's trying to hold it in, an approving smile proudly plastered across his face. Because when someone praises you, is pride not the appropriate reaction? But he's also very used to releasing his feelings in quick outbursts. The silence is soon broken by a tiny sniffle, and he squints a little, and he has to move his arm away from his side and across his eyes, and... please forgive him. He's sniffly. ]
It's only because you're so strong that I'm strong enough to support you. I'm the coolest and strongest, but next to you, I'll just have to settle for second place!