Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
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PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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I'M PUN-GNACIOUS-- wait no that doesn't even work
Yusuke eyes him, up and down, doing his best to ignore their unfortunate clothing choices and to fit the pieces together.]
So... are you dead, then? Some kinda demonic science mannequin come to life? I mean, trust me, I got nothing against demons, it's just... you don't really feel like a ghost, y'know? Or a human. I've seen some crazy crap before, and I've never seen--
[But before he can finish his sentence, there's an angry, inhuman gurgling where their 'dates' have settled, and the mass begins to shift.]
C'mon, really? That was enough to put a grown man out!
no subject
[The last human he met accepted that without an issue. What is your deal, Yusuke? Huh? HUH?]
[Not that his jimmies are rustled over it or anything. Sans is so chill that he doesn't even bat an eyesocket at Yusuke's surprise. Instead, he shrugs and keeps going.]
Just a skeleton monster.
It's about as bare bones as it gets.
no subject
... not that he can dwell on that too much now, because those dates are beginning to hiss and detangle themselves from one another.]
Okay, I'm just gonna nod my head and ignore that really bad joke for the time being, but, uh-- it looks like our charming dates need some attention at the moment.
[He aims a square kick towards his slowly rising companion, although his footing shifts due to the fabric on his feet.]
So, you got any spooky skeleton tricks up your sleeves? I'm sure your partner got a bone or two to pick with you right about now.
I JUST REALIZED I DIDN'T PUT ANYTHING IN THE SUBJECT LINE I AM GOMEN
But it takes a while to charge. I'm gonna need you to hold them off for me while I get warmed up.
[Is that a hint of confidence in his tone? Could it be that the resident skeleton actually does have some tricks up his sleeves?]
[Perhaps Sans here is the unlikely hero that, quite frankly, nobody deserves, needs, or asked for at any point in their existence, but got in a pretty sweet BOGO deal so they keep him around as a 'just in case' scenario. Maybe Yusuke will be the one to drag out this skelebro's hidden potential to display to the world and let all know that Sans is truly one not to be trifled with, adorable dinosaur onesie and all.]
[Speaking about that onesie, man, he never thought about it until now, but this thing is comfortable.]
IT'S OKAY, YOU SAID SOMETHING FROM THE HEART
However, that was besides the point at the moment, as Yusuke was too busy trying to keep his arm away from a gross, drooly tongue than be too concerned about how cozy his current outfit was. He stomps a little too vigorously onto it's head, hoping the force would push it back next to it's 'friend'. Though speaking of which...]
Oh, yeah, sure, no problem. Not like I don't have a completely new freak to worry about on top of my current date! Totally fine by me!
But hey, maybe put a little boost on it? Not like I can't take care of these guys myself, but murder isn't exactly an romantic thing to do.
WHAT HEART?
[If that sounded like sarcasm, Yusuke will be happy to know it wasn't. Sans is just busy checking his cell phone, yawning in the process because man, watching someone else beat up other people (who can thankfully handle it) is just so exhausting.]
[When he glances up and sees that Yusuke is doing pretty well on his own, Sans puts his phone away and plops down to the ground. Right onto his bony butt.]
Workin' on my special attack right now, buddy.
that squishy thing behind your ribcage. the one that beats
He whirls around to Sans, eyes blazing, jaw clenched in frustration.]
I hate to be bitchy, but are you freakin' done yet?
you mean the all-encompassing black hole???
[Spoilers: he probably won't (at least not until Yusuke manages to warm up his icy cold heart-slash-soul).]
Just about, kid. You're doing a great job.
[Sans says from his spot on the floor, curled up and comfortable.]
no, the one that's next to it but it's close enough
... although right now, any thought of interacting with this guy outside of this scenario is dead and gone. He was probably calling the kettle black here, but goddamn, was he even trying?
A low, irritated noise rumbles from the back of his throat, when suddenly, a better idea comes to mind. That sudden air of nonchalance after all that barely concealed frustration probably didn't bode well.]
Say, pal, I gotta ask-- do you drink a lot of milk? Just curious.
oh that really tiny thing!!!!!
[That being said, Sans is a master in the art of nonchalance, so when Yusuke suddenly starts emanating it in waves, he sure does notice. But, being a master in the art of nonchalance, he doesn't really do anything about it, except answer Yusuke's set up of a question.]
[Let's play along and see what happens.]
Sure do.
shhhh size doesn't count it's what you do with it!!!!!
Whether Yusuke's any good at being subtle, however, is anyone's guess.]
So that means your bones are really dense, right? 'Cuz of all that calcium and junk in it?
but i don't do anything with it......
[He has a feeling the kid is baiting him into something, but he also knows that whatever it is, he probably deserves it, and he'll get to see what Yusuke is capable of. Everyone wins!]
Yeah, I guess so.
doesn't that need medical attention then-- also 1/2!
... except, no, there was actual information he was trying to get here, and now that he has that info in mind, there's a small smirk forming at the edge of his lips. Clearly not a good sign.]
Oh great! I was hoping you'd say that.
2/2
... man, tossing that guy was hugely satisfying. Hopefully he wasn't lying about the dense bones part, or Yusuke was about to feel really guilty.]
no subject
[Being so incredibly fragile made learning creative ways to protect oneself a necessity. So as Sans is just about to collide with the other monsters, he simply disappears. No sounds, no special effects, just a good old fashioned vanishing into nothing.]
no subject
What the fuck.
Yusuke doesn't even know what to say or what to think, aside from maybe it was a bad idea to throw his back-up into a pile of monsters after all. At least if he was going to pull a literal vanishing act, which. Again. H O W?
Before he could force the rusty gears in his mind to even try to figure this one out, he's suddenly dogpiled by angry creatures! WHOOPS. Let's just hope this isn't a Game Over, because making his third death in a dating sim filled with Nightmare Fuel is too much.]