Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
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PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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no subject
the swiftness of illumi's assault ends the affair before hanbei even fully pull his sword out, though. ... ah, looks like they have a real charmer on their hands. ]
Not that I can't speak for everyone's preferences, [ he straightens himself out, sheathing his sword properly ] but I'm inclined to say you saved us the trouble.
[ he says, cautiously. because of course, there's probably less jarring ways to go about it, he thinks while the monster bleeds and twitches on the ground, but he has to admit it's efficient. ]
no subject
With any luck, this will be the end of the date and we can all go home.
no subject
It appears 'home' is rather relative to them... [ he's not sure what these signs mean, but they're not going to get anywhere being idle, so he tosses one open ("no strength"—) only to find their date sitting there, alive and well again. ] Ugh, honestly— [ he jumps back. just being near it is gross. ]
no subject
It appears we have to pick the door that correlates with something we lack. [He eyes the title cards. Strength, Charisma, and Intelligence.] I think there's a mistake. I'm proficient in all of these areas.
[He glances over at Hanbei as he tosses open a door. Since their date is behind it, that can only mean he picked the correct door.] I guess the same can't be said for all of us.
no subject
Really.
[ whatever he hasn't the time to argue, seeing how the monster begins to squirm and groan in its seat. ] It seems to be expecting something. [ why don't you come take a look ]
no subject
Yup.
[He blinks, not elaborating or seeming to quite wrap his head around Hanbei's skepticism--he doesn't even seem to notice it.]
Perhaps it's hungry. I can take care of it again if necessary.
no subject
It came right back, you know. Don't you find that suspect? [ this time hanbei finds a moment for snark, but he's moving to approach this thing anyway. he… can take a gander at what he's supposed to do, especially once the monster slaps the shelf on the wall and face powder comes tumbling down.
he picks up the container, opening it and brushing around the contents.
... ] It needs to be dressed up.
no subject
Illumi eyes the creature, then turns his gaze right back to Hanbei.] You do realize this is all a simulation, correct?
Well, I'll let you dress it up. No need for two people to do it. [He raises a hand and heads over to the other side of the room where he can take a seat and play with his phone.]
1/2
[ and before illumi can make it out of his range, hanbei idly snatches his wrist. ]
no subject
[ illumi's earlier display wasn't enough to convince hanbei to avoid any further interaction just yet– he is definitely going to try to force him into this. ] Hold it down.
no subject
...Well, okay. [If it'll get them out of here faster. Illumi starts walking towards the creature, regardless of Hanbei holding his wrist or not.]
no subject
[ it's definitely getting restless now, and it occurs to hanbei that he's not really sure exactly what this thing would want. he gives a weary frown as he gives it a good once over...
if the care and makeup applied to his own face says anything, he knows a thing or two about cosmetics... on a human form, anyway.
he's gathering some materials he thinks will suffice. after all, he doesn't want to be here long either. ] Let's hope it isn't picky, hm?
no subject
He circles around to the creature's back and hooks his arms under whatever qualifies for its front limbs. It's held firmly in place for Hanbei now. It can thrash all it wants, but Illumi is unflinching.]
I can't imagine it would be. It's just an animal.