Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
|
PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Looks like we've reached an impasse. Only one other solution I can think of, seeing as we're both such gentlemen.
[ He dodges a particularly nasty lunge and rolls away, quickly, pulling himself back up onto his feet within a matter of seconds. ]
Get rid of the problem. [ The very, very hungry problem. ]
no subject
[ He leaps aside, the opposite direction, when the creature throws itself at him, snapping its mouth filled with far too many teeth -- and how does it manage that, without completely biting off its far too long tongue? A mystery for the ages. His hands reach for the staff at his back that-- of course, isn't there. ]
If we can't have it, no one can? Typically, I'd call that way of thinking downright selfish, but given the circumstances--
[ Electricity collects in his palm, crackles and lances up his fingers and forearm, before he flings the ball of lightning directly into the creature's face. It howls, staggering back. ]
--I believe I can make an exception.
no subject
His fingers twitch for Bianca. It's a feeling that doesn't sit quite right with him, the lack of her weight in his hands, especially when facing something with a tongue that long. And it's just good sense to never trust anything with more than 50 teeth.
When he retells this story, he's shooting that thing dead straight in the damn eye.
But for now, he's just going to have to improvise. ]
Guess she's not a big fan of getting shot in the face.
[ Judging from the stagger, however, their lovely lass isn't down for the count quite yet. Why is it never that easy? He takes the oppourtunity to get behind her, grabbing for whatever he can find on such short notice - tablecloth, scraps of clothing from other dead dates - to knot, working on a trap to keep her in place. ]
Let's see if we can keep it down!
no subject
[ Dorian scowls when the creature seems to shake off the blow, shaking itself and spraying saliva all over the floor. Have some manners, lady, or at least show some deference to the basic tenets of hygiene. ]
"We?" [ He repeats it as he's forming a ball of fire between his two palms. This too gets flung at the monster's face, because it's such an easy target, and because-- have you seen what that thing looks like? A few burns might be an improvement. ] I seem to be doing all the work!
no subject
He tugs at the new chain of fabric, pulling it across the monster's way as it staggers back again from the fireball to the face, cutting off what may have been another recovery. It falls onto its back, rolling and screeching, tongue wiggling like an electrified snake.
Frankly, he could have lived without seeing the underside of that thing, but at least it's lost a good chunk of its mobility now. ]
You were saying?
[ Come now, you're just doing most of the work.
Time to tangle. He hops over a flailing limb (where did that one come from?) and uses the scraps like rope -- there's not much, but restraining a few limbs isn't a bad idea. ]
A present, nice and wrapped for you. [ Happy birthday. ]
no subject
Why, Varric, you flatterer, you shouldn't have.
By the way, you might want to let go.
[ It's all the warning he gets before Dorian hurls lightning at helpless creature. All that saliva is bound to be conductive, right? ]