Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
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PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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What are you waiting for?! Run!! [He's ready to bolt as soon as she starts running.]
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[ She hurries to her feet, despite the pain in her arm and back, and heads immediately to the door of the classroom. Please be unlocked please be unlocked please be unlocked... ]
[ And it opens!! She immediately slides open the door and holds it for Taichi. ]
Out here!
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Okay! [He dashes right into the room and calls out to her while looking behind them for any signs of the creature.] Come on!!
[he's going to try barricading the heck out of that door the second she's inside.]
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[ Luckily for them, the giant monster is pretty darn slow when it's a slug so there's enough time to get into the next room and to slam the door shut. She'll try to help and barricade the door as well but will that really hold again Jabba's strong and wonderful arms?? ]
W-What do we do now?
[ HELP HER, PRETEEN WHO IS YOUNGER THAN HER... ]
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Said preteen does what he can to barricade the door and breathes heavily. He looks around for a moment, as if expecting to find something, before he growls in frustration and mutters audibly to himself.]
Damn, there's still no sign of him...
[Then he turns to address her question finally.]
We can't stay here forever! We have to find another way out, or get ready to fight that guy!
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[ She instantly freezes when he mentions attempting to actually fight the giant slug. ]
We can't fight him! [ THEY'RE TWO TINY KIDS WITH NO SUPER POWERS AT ALL it's practically asking for Jabba to eat them alive. ] M... Maybe he'll get tired and leave us alone...
[ She says, wishfully thinking of a very nice and peaceful alternative, right before their friendly neighbourhood monster starts banging on the doors. ]
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He gives an angry look once he hears the banging on the door.]
Eh? Does he sound tired to you?! We have to do something, or we're going to be his dessert!
[It's not so bad when Taichi imagines him as just a particularly big and ugly digimon... except that he's never taken down any kind of digimon without another digimon to fight for him.]
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[ Don't yell at her! This is making a stressful situation way more stressful! She's on the verge of tears, man, she never had to deal with a giant monster on her own without having Zen or someone else who's capable of handling them. ]
Dessert? [ SHE DOES THE EATING HERE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUN-- hold on a second... ] Wait!
[ THIS IS TRIGGERING A PLAN She digs through the pockets of her brand new dress (truly a dress from the gods) and pulls out a small bag from each one. She quickly opens them up and shows it to him. Inside, he'll see... well, more bags of food. Tiny bags of takoyaki, yakisoba, ice cream cones, more corn dogs. It's kind of ridiculous. It's a mystery how she actually managed to fit everything into the little dress pockets that she's given. ]
Do you think this will keep him full? Or distracted?
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[Sorry Rei, but this kid can yell in times of distress, for better or worse.
He was about to search one of the drawers for anything they could use as a weapon, when suddenly the girl starts pulling an entire buffet out of her pockets. Taichi nearly does a pratfall as he sees it all come out.]
You- you were carrying all of that the whole time?! [He shakes his head.] Nevermind. Sure, let's try to fill him up!
[As he glances at the food, his stomach starts to grumble lightly.]
But you should let me try one of those ice cream cones. I have to make sure it's tasty enough!
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[ An entire buffet? This is like an afternoon snack for her! This girl has a bottomless pit for a stomach. She could probably eat way more than that Jabba fellow outside, still banging to be let in (please notice it, senpais). Because of all that door banging though, she doesn't hear Taichi's stomach grumbling and she just naturally assumes that he genuinely wants to make sure that the cones taste decently well. She's a pure maiden at heart, she's naive, and is about to let this kid eat instead of taking care of the giant monster outside first. Truly Taichi has his priorities in order. ]
Here!
[ She puts down one of the bags of food on the floor to hold out a cone for him. She's awfully tempted to just eat everything, including that cone, out of stress, but she's withholding because she has a stronger willpower than some people. This is probably why Taichi has the Crest of Courage, not the Crest of The Willpower Not To Eat At Inappropriate Times. ]
I had one earlier. They're really delicious, but what do you think? Should we try out the other food too, just in case?
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[Wow, anime appetites abound. Taichi's intentions are only noble and pure, and he smiles as he takes the ice cream in hand. With what he's had to suffer so far, he feels like he deserves a little treat.]
Thank you! [And then he starts to chow down on it and quickly gets some of it on his face.]
It really is delicious? [He taps his foot impatiently for a moment, while the bangs against the door intensify.] You know what? ...That's a pretty good idea! If the food's bad, it'll only make him angrier. So let's test some more out!
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Yeah! And it'll also give us enough energy to run away after!
[ This is terrible. These two are the reasons why adult supervision is required. They came up with a decently good plan and now they're just going to eat it... Look at Rei, she's digging through the bags again to pull out some takoyaki and yakisoba, both in each hand. ]
These are my favourite! Let's split it and see how they taste. If it's no good, then we'll just have to eat it all so we don't give it to the monster by accident!
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Good thinking! [He chuckles confidently before he reaches to take a sample of each. It sounds like a legit plan...! To him at least. They definitely need adult supervision, or at least one of his beleaguered team parents like Sora, Yamato or Joe to critique their plan.
As it is, he beams as he's about to bite into it.]
Let's eat up! [And he starts to chow down on his portion. He starts to speak while his mouth is still full of food.] I don't know, it tastes really great but it also feels like something's off about it...
[As he contemplates eating everything, some cracks start appearing in the door as jabba's assault continues.]
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[ The cracks go unnoticed when Rei is way too happily eating her food. The panic is still there, but just buried under how suddenly... calm and relaxing everything became, with them just eating food and ignoring the threat. Maybe if their plan didn't involve them taste testing and discussing about it, she would be way more focused at the monster outside. ]
[ She takes a bite of each, eating them at the same time. She's not a polite child either. She also talks while her mouth is full but at least she has the common decency not to spray chunks of chewed up food everywhere. ]
Hmmm, maybe we need to add some tonkatsu sauce to both? That would really add some flavor to it and make it super duper delicious!
[ For them or for Jabba......? ]
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[The food has a similar effect on Taichi. He doesn't notice the cracks, and even with the constant banging, it's easy to just imagine they're in a normal classroom back home, and facing a lot of food that can solve the case of the growling stomach. At least the desk barricade will help buy them a little more time...
His smile grows cheekier as she raises the idea of tonkatsu. He does manage to swallow before he speaks this time.]
Oooh! That might be just what it needs! Quick, let's try putting it on everything! [And he'll reach for half of everything it's applied to!]
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[ The banging does kind of fade out into the background and becomes easier to ignore, once you get used to it... It's almost like that weird buzzing sound you hear at work, which you get super annoyed by at first, but then you just learn to accept it and ignore it. Like that, but far more dangerous and louder and a cause of concern. ]
[ She digs through her pockets again (just how deep are those?!) and pulls out a small container of tonkatsu sauce. Ta-da!! ]
Good thing I always carry around this with me! Hehe, I knew it'd come in handy!
[ She goes to opening the cap and squirting it on literally everything they have, but as she does so, that desk barricade finally gives in and Jabba finally makes his way through. HEREEEEE'S JOHNNY ]
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[Taichi rubs his hands together in excitement as the tonkatsu sauce is applied, no longer even trying to comprehend the properties of this girl's pockets.
He's about to say something about how excited he is to dig in when suddenly Jabba the Butt bursts in. Taichi immediately turns and screams at his entrance. Then as his scream dies down, he reaches for some food.]
Hey you there... Eat up!!
[He grabs one piece of food and tosses it right at the creature! But as it soars towards the monster, it sniffs at the air, and it seems to make a disgusted expression at the smell of the tonkatsu sauce! So it only uses its food to whip the food out of the air before turniing its sights back on the children!
While Taichi just falls flat.]
He... he's not a fan of tonkatsu...
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[ She screams when Jabba suddenly bursts in, immediately stepping backwards to get away from it as soon as possible. Taichi has to do all the food throwing because she's back to being petrified. She has her hopes up once it's thrown but then that hope comes crashing down immediately it's tossed aside. ]
[ THEY WASTED ALL THAT SAUCE AND PUT IT ON EVERYTHING GOOD FUCKING JOB TAICHI ]
G-Go away!
[ She shouts, as if that'd really help, but she takes the opened bottle of tonkatsu and just... starts squirting the rest of the sauce on the monster. Maybe if it dislikes tonkatsu, then it'd be completely appalled that it's covered in it now?? WHO CARES, THIS IS THE BEST THAT SHE CAN DO SO TAKE THAT, SHE HOPES YOU LIKE BEING COVERED IN REALLY STICKY SAUCE ]
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[Clearly they're taking shifts, because Taichi becomes petrified at that point while Rei takes action.
As Jabba is covered in the sauce, he releases a series of ungodly squeals that will echo in their nightmares for months to come. And it starts to blindly charge forward, to tackle the opposite wall.]
Watch out!
[Rei is in Jabba's path, so Taichi leaps foward to tackle her past the monster's path just in the nick of time.]
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[ Her hero...!! The landing could be better though, because she falls right on her side and ohhhh man, everything just hurts. First she gets into a tug-o-war contest with her arm, then she falls on her bottom, and now she gets tackled onto her side. She's going to feel so sore soon. ]
[ She doesn't stay on the floor for long though, because she knows that they have to get moving, so she scrambles up, helping up Taichi if he's on the floor as well. She was about to bolt for it but then she looks at Jabba and... uh, it looks like Jabba's having a hard time getting off the wall?? It just seems really displeased about all the sauce and can't really see when it's got disgusting shit in its eyes. ]
[ Which triggers an idea and she shoves the bottle of tonkatsu sauce into Taichi's hands. ]
Quick! Squirt him with this!
[ She doesn't say why but she's hoping it'd be enough to either make Jabba so upset that he'd just give up or he'd just stay to the wall. The latter plan makes NO SENSE whatsoever because it's sauce, not super glue, but she's practically a child. This is her best plan. ]
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[Yes, he got to hero. Much dashing, very tackle. He does seem to look a little concerned for her wellbeing, but mostly he focuses on the task at hand, and the fact that he did prevent her from a suffering a far worse fate. Taichi had fallen over as well, so he does take her hand getting up with an apologetic grin.
Then it's time to look at Jabba again. And he nods firmly as she supplies him with the weapon.]
You don't have to tell me twice! [It doesn't make any sense at all. But luckily Taichi is an even bigger kid, so he follows it to the letter, spraying the creature relentlessly like it's a gigantic hell dumpling.]
Not even this can make him look appetizing!
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[ This... really does not make any sense at all, but it's apparently working?! Jabba just wails and tries to use its hands to stop the onslaught of sauce being sprayed at her but it doesn't do much. It's soon covered in the tonkatsu sauce and just... sits there crying about it. It doesn't even bother trying to get them or whatever, it just sits like a child throwing a tantrum. It just wanted a date but now it's all sticky!! Waaaaaaaaaah ]
[ U... Um........ Rei looks really unsure about this. ]
D... Did that do it?
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[This makes sense for Taichi, but that's because the digital world is one hell of a trip. It looks like Jabba the Butt has reached the bad end of his otome, and now he wallows in it in that tankatsu-covered corner.
He just stares for a moment, unsurely. It's not the must usual sight for a victory - and despite everything, it's kind of depressing. But as Rei speaks, he glances towards her and blinks.]
Um... y-yeah, it did.
[Then, he gathers the energy to raise his fist into the air.]
We did it!