Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
|
PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Sakon Shima | Sengoku BASARA | SUPER OTA!!
Whaaaaaaaaaaat the hell is this?!
[You would think that would be Sakon's response to the horrendous contender that he ended up getting matched with. Give him a second and he'll react to that too probably but for right now, he's currently fighting with the beautiful adornment that was haphazardly thrown on top of his samurai gear. Yeah, it's even on top of his stupid collar thing, settled just on top of it so it's snug around his Adam's Apple.]
A noose?! What'd I ever do to-- hggrkh!
[Oh dear god he's going to choke himself before the monster even gets to him. The creature scuttles closer to him, its spiny legs tapping against the floor and it roars at Sakon - and Sakon just seems to instinctively do a sudden backflip to put space between himself in the creature, beautiful glittery necktie fluttering in the wind.]
Hey!! Can't you see I'm busy right now? [What an idiot.] One thing trying to kill me at a time, got it?! [The thing roars at him again and Sakon just huffs.] Okay, maybe you don't get it! Fine! I'll take you both on myself!
[Someone help this moron.]
[ PHASE III : bow chicka wow wow amirite ]
[Sorry other inhabitant of the cage, it's probably quite cold when Sakon startles awake, a sudden gust kicking up when he kicks out and just barely avoids knocking his head on the ceiling of the cage.]
Wh-Whoa?! I'm cold?!
[Yeah. Yeah, it's a little breezy, ain't it, and his surprise wind powers probably aren't helping with that. He blinks then as the wind dies down and he immediately looks around and finds the other naked person - which makes him back up real quick against the other set of bars.]
I don't remember you....?! Sorry - don't hit me! [Cue a sudden flurry names:] Tsubaki? Rei? Riku? Ayumu?!
[Exactly what does he think happened here?]
What did I do? What didn't I do....?!
[Ah. A one night stand gone wrong.]
[ BONUS : truly a lost puppy ]
[He is a menacing soldier of the Toyotomi, answering to none other than Ishida Mitsunari. His kill count is in the hundreds and despite his fast talking, he's a fearsome warrior in his own right not to be taken lightly.
He is also currently in a dinosaur suit.]
... What am I....?
[Someone tell him that's what it is.
Experimentally, he shakes his hips to wag his pink tail.]
A dog...? Nah, maybe a bird.
[Sweet samurai jesus.]
phase i
A burst of flames suddenly rushes towards the creature, knocking it back a bit (and singeing it, although unfortunately considering its size, it'll need more than that to burn it for real). From the source of the fire stands Setz, who's torn between being a little freaked out at this situation and being utterly unimpressed by this idiot.]
It's called a tie.
[Says someone used to wearing one 24/7, so he 100% can't empathize Sakon's plight of treating it like a noose.]
And you'd be better off focusing on this thing instead of a harmless article of clothing.
no subject
[Sakon, that's... that's not what he said-]
But if there's something like this, doesn't that mean that somebody's out to kill me? Someone with hands!
[Which is about the time that the monster comes skittering back toward them and Sakon dodges out of the way with an easy cartwheel before twisting on the same hand so that he can deliver a swift kick right to the creature's face.
And then flip out of that, looking back to Setz with a tilt of his head.]
I'm pretty sure this guy's just freaky and ugly and lost.
no subject
[This entire situation is bizarre enough without the other party being nonsensical, damn it. If nothing else, it at least looks like he can defend himself, so that's one less thing Setz has to worry about.
He's staying where he is, since while he's relatively confident in his hand-to-hand combat abilities, he's not confident enough to charge towards something quite a few times his size. As far as he figures, he's likely better equipped to just deal with it long range rather than up close.]
... Let's just focus on taking this thing out.
no subject
.... That's pretty cutthroat of you, dude.
[Even though Sakon was the one calling it ugly and freaky. Those words can hurt too, Sakon! Still, he's just going to agree easily enough. It's annoying to be without his swords, but it's nothing that he can't handle?! Proooobably.]
Alright! What's the plan?
[Tactics aren't his forte.]
BONUS /slams in here
And just how many pink birds do you know about? Besides flamingos.
HELLO
[SOMEONE HELP HIM.
Still though, that was a cute laugh?! It gets him to turn around and he's faced with an equally cute girl, to which he's offering a grin in return.]
I know you're not making fun of me though. That's reeeaaally rude!
no subject
[But he looks at her and even in the pink dinosaur onesie attire he's got going on here, he's approachable enough. Cute enough. She's hardly bothered as she continues.] Making fun of you for wearing that? I wouldn't even think of it. [But the teasing grin says she's definitely making fun of him just a tiny bit.] What's with the outfit anyway?
no subject
And they stand like this I'm gonna guess? [He laughs a little.] Ha! Sounds like a really useless bird...!
[oh.
Still though, at the question of the outfit he's shrugging and smooth as silk]
Beats me. I'd try harder to get out of it but we definitely just met. [ . . . okay but is he trying to flirt or is he just being painfully honest.] My only complaint is that it's kinda hard to move around in!
(no subject)
phase 1!!!
However, it looks like someone might get killed before the "date" kills them. Because of a tie.]
Stop, stop! [She quickly makes her way over.] If you stop moving we can take it off. You cannot take on a jealous date until you stop choking.
no subject
[Sakon is not well-trained in the art of alien wiles..... But regardless he's going to stop moving. Sort of. He's still bouncing from one foot to another because he's not used to sitting still at... all....]
Do you have an answer for all this, miss?
no subject
[She's joking.] But I wouldn't recommend you doing that either, you might die.
As for that. [She hovers her hand around her own neck.] It is a tie, it is usually an accessory you can knot up and wear with a shirt. It should be much looser, and where your collar is. If you want to remove or loosen it...excuse my forwardness.
[She lightly supports the knot before gently tugging at the circle. Just a little bit so he can breathe, before stepping back.] Like that.
no subject
[Sakon's as forward as they come.... but then he's stilling for just a moment when she reaches out to him, and the second she steps back he's releasing a breath. Okay. Okay, that's better!
Then back to shifting from foot to foot restlessly, a big grin crossing his face.]
Nice, nice! Thanks!! Now - maybe you should stay out of the way while I beat this guy to the curb, huh?
(no subject)
bonus
[It's most certainly not a dog or a bird. Saber doesn't even know the poor guy's a samurai yet. She merely shakes her head and places her hand to her hip.]
Fumu, it suits you well.
no subject
But I don't feel that scary.
[Experimentally, he raises his arms?! No.... No, he just looks like he's ready to entertain at a children's birthday party.]
Huh! Why do you say that, miss? Is it because I naturally exude an aura of awesome and cool and scary?!
[ . . . mm, maybe not.]
phase iii - i'm here for bad decisions and worse possible prompt o'clock
He's seen a lot of weird things (wilddeoren being one) but this pretty much takes the cake. ]
You really need to stop panicking. [ What the hell does this guy think is going on??? Why is he yelling weird names(?) when that thing is probably waiting to gobble them up.
Or worse.
He doesn't want to think about worse. ]
I can probably get us out of here but... that isn't really the issue, is it?
[ WHY DID IT TAKE THEIR CLOTHES ]
i wouldn't expect anything less
Sakon normally doesn't take orders and he's a bit of a wildfire when he gets going, but Merlin's question sort of manages to surprise him into a standstill. He blinks.
Tilts his head.]
Mm... No. No, I think that's definitely the main issue here, dude.
What else could be the problem?
[THEY'RE NAKED]
of course not u///u
Now, he's more than grateful that he hasn't ran into anyone from home yet. At least when Hengist took them prisoner they got to keep their clothes. ]
You're kidding, right? [ THEY'RE NAKED....... ] When we get these bars open, what do you plan on doing about... [ His voice goes quiet. ] ...the other problem?
i.
this is probably not who you want helping you. milla is feeling incredibly overdressed, annoyed, and unimpressed. of course she got matched with a killer date (though what was she expecting, when all the options were like that) and a killer headache, but she'll roll with it. ]
You can focus on your noose, I'll focus on the thing that's actually a threa—
[ it's skittering closer, so she's jumping back to put some distance between it and her... though her foot catches annoyingly on her dress and she near trips, a sharp, exasperated exhale escaping from her throat. ]
—Never mind. Distract that thing, and don't choke. I'm busy now!
[ hi sakon it's a triple date!
and this part of the triple date is currently ripping the bottom half of her dress to shorten it while he's busy choking on his tie and the monster aims to eat them both so this is going well. ]
bonus.....
[HELLO, COMRADE. WELCOME TO DINOSAUR HELL.
Kashuu is... also in a pink dinosaur suit, and yet somehow, he seems to be rocking it something fierce. What's that saying - if you can't beat 'em or escape the kigurumis, just accept your fate as a pastel dinosaur?]
( phase iii ) ok where is leo dana gets the oscar ( 1/3 )
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
So when it happens... ] H-Hey -- !! [ Rapunzel fumbles, trying to sit up despite being blown backwards and half upside down with golden blonde going absolutely everywhere. This will not stand! ] What a--!?
[ but then "Sorry - don't hit me!" ]
Hit --
[ and then "...Riku? Ayumu?!" ]
But wh -- !?
[ and "What didn't I do....?!" ]
no subject
...Yeah, pause for a round of applause lady and gentlemen, the poor fool actually thinks it's her not-beloved she's trapped with. For a second her heart flutters and her spirits soar. She's about to start laughing because of course this is exactly the kind of ridiculous thing he would do... ]
Heh. [ she reaches out for the shadowy figure ] Come on, Jaune, you can't really be--
( jk 3/4 )
...
( okay now go )
[ KICK KICK KICK ]
What is wrong with you!?
[ christ this is even reminiscent of how she met Jaune what the hell ]
THAT WAS SO EXCESSIVE!
[ ..... KICK ]
bonus ...
The very same demon lord is wearing something very similar to Sakon's fluffy PJ's. Except his happens to be tad bit closer to the reddish hue. By the time his date shows himself, Saburo has accepted his dino fate and is lounging around like he owns the place. ]
Nah, pretty sure we're both naked moles.
[ And completely misses the mark. Nobunaga Oda, everyone. ]