//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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/cries blood
[ it is at that time Zura is whacked at the back of his head by a blunt object and he catches himself on the seat in front him from falling over with a strained 'bastaaaaard.'
Though, once Gin is seated, Katsura looks over his shoulder before making his way over and plopping down in the seat next to him. He can't stay fussed at Gin. Not when he is finally here. ]
...Keep yourself guarded when you come to a place like this.
[ implying again he's been here before. ]
You are late here anyway. I've been here for weeks.
/gross we can't be friends
. . . weeks, weeks? Did your watch stop? How can you have been here for weeks when things just got destroyed a few days ago?
[Except he says it all with his mouth full of popcorn.]
rollinginthedeep.mp3
... though he might be eying that popcorn a little. ]
—Hmph. I don't entirely trust everything CERES tells us. I've been around long enough to realize they give out very vague answers and dismiss important malfunctions in their system as glitches without striving to fix the problem.
Not to mention, a friend of mine told me that something having to do with time travel could be involved.
[ EYING THAT POPCORN. ]
Do you not believe me, Gintoki?
no subject
Zura is getting a sideways glance as Gintoki adjusts in his seat some, kicking at the robot wreck a little more.]
Don't make me laugh, for all I know, you're just one of these robots with a better disguise, you know?
[He probably didn't really think that, not after seeing that embarrassing display from earlier, but it's easier than admitting to Katsura how worried he was, and just how much CERES had pissed him off by not giving him any answers.]
no subject
I'm not a robot, I'm Katsura.
[ he raises a valid point, and now you've got him skeptical too. But, it's a passing fear. None of these robots could take out another robot like Gintoki did. He's seen Gin fight plenty of times— it's a familiar look.
Though, he's still squinting. ]
I suppose if you feel that way we would just have to test each other.
[ those curls looked real but man...
he's not sure. ]
no subject
Like you'll say, okay, okay Gintoki-kun [high school? Middle school??], who was my first kiss? And I'll say, nobody, nobody would ever kiss you.
And I'd be right. [He looks really smug, smirking to himself, will you accept this challenge Zura?]
no subject
Haaaaa, what are you, still five years old? Have you still not grown out of that phase of throwing sand at the people you like? Is that what this is about? I was thinking of something more like this—
[ Just for that, he pinches a hold of Gin's cheek and yanks. ]
It seems real, but I just can't be too sure.
[ at this point he's certain this is definitely Gin. Nobody could act this way so naturally. ]
no subject
[Angrily trying to pull away as he leans sideways in his seat, and then the retaliation - He'll reach over and snag a fistful of Zura's long, thick hair]
IT SEEMS FAKE, BUT I JUST CAN'T BE TOO SURE!! [YANK yank yank YANK]
[won't someone break these two children up please]
no subject
IT'S NOT FAKE, IT'S NATURA-A-OWOW-AL!
[ One last tug and the moderate-pacifist is done here, though he looks particularly fussed as he stares Gintoki down for a good long while. His hands are gripping onto the theater chairs, now, and he seethes a little beneath his teeth. ]
—Damn it! I've never met anybody else act like such a man-child. You don't have to prove anything else!
no subject
Munch, munch.]
I guess you don't gotta prove things either, not with that new life-form growing on your head. Did you eat an alien? Do they taste good out here? Is there shōyu? Can you move it on your own now like the lady with the snake hair?
[Huffff]
no subject
It isn't anything like that, Gintoki. [ it ain't. Moving on: ]
Something not right goes on here. When I first got here, I saw the slideshow and I heard the explanation.
And I thought it made sense that the aliens would destroy our already imperfect world, but I'm starting to get skeptical of the authority that runs this place.
[ you shouldn't be surprised he's acting like this tbh. ]
I don't know if they are allies or enemies. A lot of people feel this way.
I want to let them know I want the right answers and I want my world restored— even in all of its impurities— I want it and the things I treasure back.
Somebody told me here that everybody is safe, but I can't rest easy knowing there is the possibility that they aren't safe. This place, in and of itself, is unpredictable.
Allow me to tell you the thing that caused me to question their motives.
[ he'll pause in case you have any comment to say to that. ]
no subject
[He'll mumble some, not to be outdone. But he knew Katsura was going to be just as observant, if not much more so than Gintoki himself and anyway, Zura had been here longer.]
no subject
The game that really did it for me was Floppy Bird. It was, unfortunately, very easy to beat, and I felt empty when I finished it. There were no lessons to be taught. I didn't feel like I could use the game as a training lesson.
And so, I thought: why are we not training in a dojo? Our time here— is it just being wasted or is this really some way for us to grow powerful to eventually fight the Flamines and restore our land?
I started thinking a lot, and the more I thought of things, the more Floppy Bird haunted me.
[ ??????
a long, drawn out pause. ]
Gintoki, I don't know what to think of this place anymore, but I need more answers.
And the only way to get more answers is to do something brash.