//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
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spain | hetalia
Anyway, he can’t really decide on which movie he wants to see at the moment so don’t mind Spain standing in front of the theaters, arms crossed, face scrunched together in serious thought. )
Eenie meenie, miney mo…
( This is how important decisions are made. Someone should give him a suggestion. Or a warning. )
Theater III
By the third loop, he realizes, gets up rather quickly, let’s out a bright laugh, and shrugs. )
Ay, the movie is messed up! ( Ha ha ha. ) Where is the manager? I think I want my money back.
( But the movie was free, dumbo. )
Theater Por qué
Spain isn’t the type to take any sort of beating quietly so from the theater you’ll hear his yells: )
Huh? What did you— Ay! Stop that! I do not! Knock that off! I said I was sorry!
( If you're lucky enough to witness the entire ordeal to the end, you’ll catch Spain punching the robot and immediately pulling his fist back, shaking it. THAT HURT HIM MORE THAN IT HURT THE ROBOT DIDN’T IT AND IT KEEPS HITTING HIM MORE. )
Why are you doing this to me!?
Concessions Area
He used to like going to the movies! And now he’s pretty content with the idea of just staying home and renting. )
… And the movies weren’t even that good.
(lobby) but laughing at spain punching the robot tbh
[because the line has stopped. and England is stuck. he's even got a mug of tea for the occasion and it's getting cold. though why he is going to see movies he just knows will be bad is an utter mystery. maybe he just really feels like critiquing something today.
he finally huffs and leaves the line, marching right up to whoever's stalling it]
Are you listening, dimwit?
things i didnt even know i needed to cross off my bucket list until now
( The easy way to describe it was a like a fly but no... this was clearly worse. )
no subject
England's irritation all but skyrockets when he realizes that it's Spain standing there. he almost crushes the mug in his hand he's so angry]
Don't ignore me, you git! What the hell are you doing here?
no subject
If he had greater patience and was more of a troll, he could keep ignoring England until the end of his days but alas, he never did learn how to back away from a battle. There's a whine and he waves at England dismissively, )
Aaaay, Inglaterra, have you been drinking in public again? You're making a scene. ( Shaking his head like he has some sort of moral high ground here. Spoilers, he doesn't. He just likes to think he does. ) Perhaps you should call a cab.
Actually, even if you're not drunk, you should call a cab. ( Nodding his head now, ) Sí... I don't care how you leave.
( What an asshole. Look at that smug passive aggressive asshole grin on his. HE'S JUST PLAYING AROUND in that jerkish way. )
no subject
I'm not the one holding up the line! The rest of the world doesn't go through life in slow-motion like you, so move your arse, pick a theater, and get inside.
no subject
Yeah? You can't tell me how to act in line when you just skipped everyone and you're holding up the line now too!
( HMPH, )
You know, you should really apologize to everyone for being so rude. ( And in his most posh English accent, he clearly (and poorly) tries to mimic England, ) "Oh, ¡no! Forgive me. I am England and I feel bad. Bad England."
no subject
for now, he twitches when Spain says that he's causing a problem. no, England was trying to fix the problem. get it right, Spain. gosh]
Just pick a bloody movie already!
[oh. he yelled. oops. that sure did cause a scene]
no subject
( England, you're making this too easy for Spain and he really can't help but laugh at the rise he got. Winning the most trivial of battles in a rival war... yes. Content, he'll slap England on the back perhaps (definitely) a lot harder than what's socially acceptable. )
Hmm... let's go see the second one!
( Did he just invite England to the movies yes this is the kingdom of spain and he does what he wants when he wants how he wants )
no subject
he's in the process of hiding his face in his hands when Spain slaps him and then he stumbles! fortunately England catches himself before he topples over]
Fine, fine! Let's just move... [England isn't even going to argue with that, man. he just wants to get away from all these people staring at him. and maybe going to the movies with your rival is better than going to the movies alone whatever]
no subject
Large Adventurer 7, eh? Haha, what kind of name is that supposed to be?
( England better have brought his own snacks because Spain might have extended the invitation, he sure as heck isn't sharing his candy. Okay lets get these seats and watch this movie it can't be that bad. Actually, it will be but just not bad in the way they'd expected it to be. )
no subject
I can't put my finger on it, but the name sounds kind of familiar. [he takes his seat and sighs in exasperation. his life...]
no subject
The kid’s acting is pretty great! He’s young and innocent but he’s still been through so much. The robot is pretty cool too. I didn’t even know robots could cry.
( And more rambling commentary up until he starts to catch things on the screen.
He’s a shameless Romantic. Seeing his past replay on the big screen isn’t exactly embarrassing. It’s a lot of France, to be honest but find a nation in western Europe who didn’t have one first or another with France. Okay and… there are more memories and the scenes are starting to switch back to the river and this is getting really disturbing.
His commentary, by now, has practically stopped but he isn’t going to let a dumb movie get him down, especially next to the gloomiest guy in the world. )
What an awful movie.
no subject
for another, they both seem to like to critique what they are watching. regular Siskel and Ebert, over here.
England mentions that he's so sick of robots. damn things are everywhere on this colony.
and then there's the first memory. it's an old one, something England had forgotten in his lengthy history (he can't be expected to remember something that happened maybe 700 years ago!), and his whole face turns bright red. that was... what the hell?!]
How does this movie know about that?!
no subject
Spain replies that he can understand England being sick of robots but they still do look pretty cool. He jumps and might have thrown some candy at England because of that little outburst, )
Ay, keep it down! Some people are trying to watch the movie!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Why indeed...
Eh? S-Spain?
[Spain getting beat up by something that looks like a cleaning robot. With a paddle (what even?).
He cringes in sympathy when Spain reels back from trying to punch it. Oh, that looked like it hurt...
But as for the answer to Spain's plaintive question, Canada spies something under his foot.]
Spain... Spain! Pick up the garbage near your foot?
no subject
What garbage?! ( Looking at the ground. That ticket stub? KICKING FURIOUSLY AT THE STUB AND MAYBE GETTING A FEW KICKS AT THE ROBOT TOO WHEN IT GETS TOO CLOSE. This hurts a lot less than punching tbh. ) You could have just asked nicely! I'll teach you how! And I'll teach you how to apologize too!
( No, Canada, Spain isn't going to pick up his trash because now he's just being a stubborn 1000 year old. Also he's probably going to get into a fight at this rate do you want to break it up Mr. Member of the G8 )
no subject
Spain, no...
Canada slumps a little, watching the situation escalate. If Spain hurts himself that'd be bad, and if he damages the robot that'd be bad too.
So... maybe he'll have to help. (Canada is a brave peacekeeper! He can do this!)]
Aah-!
[He rushes forward, and makes a grab for the piece of paper on the floor.
Unfortunately, he is slow to evade Spain's feet, and his hand gets squarely stepped on.]
Ow-!
no subject
He really didn't mean to step on Canada and it catches him off guard. )
Ay qué-- ( And he trips and falls backward. ) Ow...
( Wait, up close, this isn't America. France? No, this face is significantly less punchable. That doesn't make sense. Oh my gosh it's Canada. )
What are you doing?
( Also is this robot quoting 50 Shades now. )
no subject
[Whoa- Canada didn't mean to trip him up like that.]
Sorry! I'm sorry. I'll just-
Gingerly, with his not-stepped-on left hand, Canada reaches for the paper.
And makes a face at the robot.]
What is it saying...
[But now that Canada has the offending ticket stub, the robot's attention has turned to him.]
Eh- I'm sorry! Here, we'll throw it away properly now, s-so your work here is done-!
no subject
Nonsense, that's what.
( The robot's attention appears to be caught by Canada and Spain watches, curiously, carefully, and ready to take it down. But it looks like the robot is tamed for the time being. And that's frustrating. There's a muttering of curses and Spain stomps at the ground, )
I can't believe this. Ay, give that to me. ( Just... taking that stub and slam dunking it into the nearest bin. ) It could have just asked nicely!
no subject
[Like this small victory over the vicious cleaning robot
(But who was more vicious, the robot or Spain...?)He nods agreement with Spain and tries to steer him towards the concession.]
It should have, instead of saying all those other... things. [Not thinking too hard about that.] It was pretty frustrating, wasn't it? Let's take a break and get a drink?
[In the end, he's just happy it ended peacefully, eh...]
Lobby
Well. That's promising.]
Hey. [Tommy lightly slaps the indecisive guy on the arm. Sorry man, but you've made the mistake of looking like the easiest person to rope into something.] Don't you wanna see what that's about?
no subject
Why would anyone be running from a movie crying. Is it a horror movie? Please be a horror movie because Spain loves those. )
It's about horses, isn't it? But that doesn't explain why they would be so upset... do you think it's actually a scary movie?
no subject
[Acknowledging him is the same thing as agreeing, right? Right. Tommy takes the liberty of speaking to the clerk for both of them.]
It sounds like some shitty arthouse movie, but it has to at least be good for a laugh.