//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

mercury black | rwby

[kicksilver]

theatre i
[ Despite the cheesy title, Mercury went in by himself. He really would have wanted to play around and wait by the lines, and ask some innocent person - preferably a lady - to watch with him, but the premise was far too interesting for him to just stand around and wait for someone to go in with him.

When the ponies get killed, he laughs pretty loudly and whistles— "woohoo!", to which you may want to shush him!

Towards the tail end of the movie when things get rather strange, Mercury himself doesn't find it to be bothersome at all. Naked, moaning, and his beautiful face? Yeah. He's perfect. And frankly, this guy isn't exactly virgin Mary that he'd be so chaste. He does not mind what he's seeing at all.

That said, when he gets up and exits the theatre, he has a pretty content smile on his face. He's in a pretty good mood! And in fact, he might even approach you. ]

So, about that movie, huh? Equestrians. [ He muffles a snort. ] Good people.


bonus: theatre v
[ Okay, okay. So he's seen and heard the other patrons watching the movie who accidentally dropped something. And frankly, it was more entertaining than the movie. He only bought a ticket to watch the movie to see if his heartstrings were going to be pulled, anyway. HE WAS JUST REALLY BORED. C'mon, it's not like he has much of a choice here!

With the movie getting boring with all the love and kindness and sap, he intentionally drops a piece of popcorn on the floor, and the theatre cleaning robots come dashing in. He laughs as he gets up, prepared for the punishment that he's about to get. Not that he was planning on getting any.

He raises both his hands above his head. ] I'm innocent. Innocent, I tell you! Although, I won't deny the that the dirty sluts come to me sometimes.

[ He's heard the robots call the others "dirty sluts", he can use their words against them. But before they hit him with a wooden paddle, he kicks them rather hard. Incoming robot your way! Better avoid that. ]


by the ticket booths
[ After watching My Petite Equestrian Experience, Mercury's in a pretty good mood! It's just too bad that none of the other movies pique his interest. Now, if there were cartoons, he would totally be up for that. But, as they say, you can't have it all. And he was kicked out of the fifth theatre, and the other robots were glaring at him rather harshly! Gosh, it's not like he did anything troublesome.

So now, he's by the food stalls, where people line up to buy their popcorn, soda, nachos, whatever! And he might just chat you up, because... please. Entertain the poor guy. ]

Thoughts on the titles so far? I'd recommend My Petite Equestrian Experience. I'd even watch it again with you, if you'd like.

[ Totally suave. Although, if you're a guy, he definitely won't offer to watch it with you. ]

ticket booths

[beaconed]

[ Too bad, Mercury, you offered. It's a thing now. ]

...Uh, are you talking to me? [ Here's Jaune trying to carry two buckets of popcorn. And he's partly wondering because... you never talk to him. ]

[kicksilver]

[ He arches an eyebrow. This guy looks familiar, but. . . hmmm... he's definitely seen him at Beacon, but Cinder never really made any notes about this guy. Probably some nobody.

Still, it doesn't help to have a friendly conversation! That's what he's all about! ]

Nah, I was actually talking to the tall lady next to you.

[ But there's really nobody else in line right now. C'mon Jaune. ]

[beaconed]

[ Does he mean Pyrrha?! Jaune instinctively turns his head to look at her, but... there's nobody there. ]

Oh. Very funny.

Don't you have already have a tall lady following you around? [ Or was it the other way around? >:( ]

[kicksilver]

[ Hmm... he looks thoughtful for a good moment, then grabs some popcorn from Jaune's stash and pops it in his mouth. ]

Tall lady... It's her heels, man. The heels.

[ No way is he going to reveal anything about himself. Not right now, not ever. Especially to some nobody. ]

[beaconed]

[ Hey, are you bullying him? Because Jaune will just deny that you are. So go on and eat. ]

H-Heh... well, I've never seen her without them. She's kinda like Weiss, isn't she? --You've met Weiss, right?

[kicksilver]

[ Sharing is caring. ]

Uh huh, seen her. [ And that's more popcorn for him. ] She's one of the ladies who took care of the dance. Gotta hand it to her. She's great all around.

TICKET BOOTHS!

[heartboop]

Oh, hey, Mercury.

[Yes, she remembers your name. Yes, she's carrying the largest bucket of popcorn available. No, you can't have any! Maybe. Depending on how the conversation goes.]

Hmm...ponies or explosions...why can't they make a pony action movie?! That would be the easiest choice!

[Oh, she definitely notices something.]

What will you buy? [Because his choice of food will describe a lot about him.]

[kicksilver]

[ Um, rude. At least Jaune unwillingly let him take some of his popcorn. But, he won't do that to a lady. He knows better. :) ]

Pony action movie... I'm not sure that'll sit well for the kids, you know? Kids loooove their rainbows and ponies!

[ Not that this movie was any better. ]

And I'm done watching, so no more food for me. Unless you're asking me to watch something with you, Nova Valkyrie?

[ Well, of course he knows her name. They've got to keep tabs on JNPR, after all. ]

I'm assuming 'Nova' is a typo? lol

[heartboop]

[A true gentleman!]

I like cute movies as much as the next person, but action's more my style! Maybe I'll watch that one later! But yeah, we can watch one together!

[She holds out a fist!]

Rock Paper Scissors? Loser can choose the next one!

IT WAS INDEED A TYPO, my apologies!!!

[kicksilver]

[ Crosses his arms and gives a thoughtful hum. ]

Why does the loser get to choose?

OH GOOD I wouldn't want her to get huffy on him after being so nice!

[heartboop]

Because sometimes the underdog can be winners! This is that sometime!

[Leans in a little.]

Are you scared you'll win?

I blame my friend! his name is nova ;)

[kicksilver]

[ Backs up a little when Nora gets a bit too close. ]

Maybe. Just a little bit?

ticket booths

[ruby_roses]

[Ruby had been hoping for something along the lines of a monster flick but, nothing seems to be grabbing her attention. ...She does like horses though...]

Really? It looks kinda... sparkly.

[kicksilver]

Oh, hello!

[ He's not as cheerful as Pryhha when it comes to greeting people, but his hello is just as bright. ]

Fancy meeting you here -- ah? [ He seems to have forgotten her name. Or at least, he's pretending he has. ]

[ruby_roses]

Oh, right! I never introduced myself at Beacon...

[She just grins innocently and extends a hand.]

I'm Ruby. Nice to meet you!

[kicksilver]

Yeah, I never did get your name.

[ He clasps her hand and shakes it. ]

Mercury. Nice to meet you too, Ruby.

[ruby_roses]

You're one of the exchange students from Haven, right? Sorry again about bumping into your leader like that...

[kicksilver]

From Haven, yup. [ FINGER GUNS. ]

And you don't need to worry, that was an accident. It's not like she got hurt or anything.

Ticket booths

[hollower]

[Luckily for Mercury, the one he offered to rewatch My Petite Equestrian Experience is a lady, and a nice-looking one, if one may so say - if you're into Gothic Lolita fashion, mind. Unluckily for Mercury, however, the look Perona shoots him after being invited to sit through that grotesque porno is akin to what a volatile mother dragon protecting her clutch may look like.]

You couldn't pay me to sit through that again. [She can still hear herself, see herself...eugh.]

[kicksilver]

[ He actually knows someone who's dressed like Perona, although... the girl he knows is much. Much. Much shorter. ]

Bad experience, huh? Sorry to hear.

[ He slides a pack of m&ms to her. ] Candy? Maybe it'll make you feel better.

[hollower]

['Bad experience' doesn't even begin to cover it,and Perona holds up her hand to decline the offer. Eating seems like just a bad idea. She's still kind of nauseous from the prior movie she just escaped.]

What would make me feel better is watching this stinking place burn, but I don't think I can do that... [And get away with it.]

[kicksilver]

[ That earns a chuckle. He likes your sense of humour, girl. ]

Mm, probably not. You'd have to come up with a pretty crafty plan if you wanna burn this place down, you know?

[hollower]

[Yeah, the real hilarious part is that wasn't a joke......]

Maaah, don't give me any ideas - it's already a tempting enough thought.

[kicksilver]

Woah, woah, woah. At least commit arson when I'm not here anymore, yeah?