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//TESTDRIVE.EXE
//TESTDRIVE.EXE
 The lights flicker overhead, music blaring from the speakers as you step inside, every sound drowned out except for that hypnotic tune. The walls are painted in an array of hypnotic colors, saturated to the point where your attention doesn't know where to land, and all kinds of screens hang from each corner, showing flashing images of ads, gadget after gadget appearing in a second to show you the best of what Ceres has to offer. Dancing bodies flank each side of the large ballroom, bodies with eyes that look hollow and their faces too symmetrical. They'll occasionally glance at you and smile, maybe even engage and offer to take you to one of the private rooms in the back. However, their words are interrupted when the lights suddenly turn brighter and focus on the center where a raised platform sits. A man appears in the center, one hand raised to silence the music while the other holds a microphone. He pauses to reach out for a glass, snatching it from one of the wait staff passing by before raising it to the crowd. "We've finally obtained our first victory here on Cerealia. The colony is ours completely and will be fully functional from this day forward. Please enjoy all the luxurious amenities we have put together, and join me in journeying towards a new and better future. Together, we will expand our territory here and reach even further horizons. And by all means, don't be shy with the staff. They're also here for your entertainment."He gestures around the room, smiling before taking a sip of his champagne. Applause echoes from the crowd while Julius steps off the stage, handing the mic to one of the staff before pausing for pictures and interviews from reporters. You stand in the crowd as the lights dim once more, lost in a sea of people and wondering where to go next. |
//SCENARIOS.EXE
PHASE I [ 18 PHASE II [ ?? PHASE III [ 21 PHASE IV [ 02 BONUS [ why[ The party will be long, so take your time enjoying each scenario... and dreading it. At the end of it all, things will be calmed down and you're free to enjoy the night as you please. Remember to keep things PG (the FAQ below elaborates!), and absolutely no forcing any R-rated things with anyone below 15-16 (so be sure to ask their age, right?) or the droids will have a little fun chasing you around! Do enjoy the pretty views of the gorgeous digital city though. Which seems strangely quiet, but at this late hour, why not, right? ] |
01 ]
The screens lining the walls inside even extend into the bathrooms and the back rooms, playing commercial after commercial, all CERES themed, as you mingle with the other guests, but occasionally, the image transforms into a flash of something else. It appears for a split-second. There's the face of a woman, lips parted in a soundless cry. She looks to be in pain, fingers pressed to the screen. It's so quick that most don't register it, barely even notice it's there unless they focus. The party continues without incident, otherwise. Because it's a pretty damn good party, isn't it? There's plenty of food, strong drinks - hey, no one under seventeen is allowed to drink - and many decorative people. Just ignore that feeling of being watched! You're just so good looking, after all.
//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's first test drive! Please forgive our appearance as we are going through the final stages game completion. While most pages are under development and/or hidden from the public eye, please don't feel discouraged, since knowing everything doesn't always make the experience. Your characters will know as little as you. For your convenience, we have compiled a mini-FAQ - please read it thoroughly before playing. Thank you! FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS HOW DID MY CHARACTER GET HERE? You may have been just been doing their day-to-day activities - be it swimming or fighting demons - but the next moment, a crack and blinding light - now you're here, in your best attire, celebrating. The memories of your at-home activities fade away like a fleeting dream, and it's replaced with the feeling of happiness. ( You haven't forgotten your past, just that anything you were doing seems far too distant to be important. ) Must be something in the air. You can't remember clearly fighting for CERES, and whatever this Julius Vincere is telling you might be complete bullshit for all you know, but something influences you to play along anyway - if you think about it long enough, perhaps you had fought for CERES after all...?WHO/WHAT IS CERES? WHAT IS CEREALIA? You mean... you don't remember? After all the help you gave it?WHAT FORMAT CAN WE USE FOR THIS TESTDRIVE? Action (brackets/prose), video/voice, and texting are all available via your CEREVICE at this moment. Most functions are currently undergoing a system update, but as long as it is still connected to the Auralia Network, it will be available for communicative uses.WHAT IS ViVID? An amazing VR game! The demo version of ViViD will be here to play, aren't you excited? It's played with headsets that immediately allow you to experience full-body simulation, without having to move out of your seat! You can enjoy the demo world, design your own, play alone, play with a team, but remember, the boss must be beaten! Please check the phase ii thread for details and interactions!SO... PHASE III? Sexy things can happen, you're getting hot and heavy on the dance floor, and there are rooms in the back that can be decorated to your mood, after all. REMEMBER, the age of consent is 15-16, please use your own discretion and don't upset people. For the test drive, any situation that goes above PG (beyond kissing/grinding/light making out... We're lenient) must go into threads in your own journals. Any creeper behavior or unwanted advances will get an IC boot into the Frozen Locker with "Let it Go" on repeat.POWER LIMITATIONS? Actually, no, the characters don't have any of their abilities locked or otherwise suppressed. More info will be i the official FAQ, but so long as you don't destroy the entire game ( and we trust you can use your powers responsibly— as does CERES! ), limitations are nonexistent.OKAY, WHAT ABOUT PREVIOUS GAME MEMORIES? It's completely acceptable to bring a character that has been in a previous game to Cerealia!THE NAME LOOKS FAMILIAR. . . Yes, a loosely related setting concept with a place called CEREALIA was pitched for an ExitVoid phase before the moderators decided to close the game for good. A few of us got together with the original pitchers of the idea since we thought it really awesome and with a lot of potential and decided to try our own thing with it!ARE THE GAMES RELATED? Nope. Not at all, it's been rehashed from the ground up and built to stand on its own as an original place and game.We'll keep coming back to this, so don't worry. |
we don't speak of jae hee okay... don't do it....
[there's a certain snap to nam soon's words; it's not angry or bitter, but no less frustrated. no matter how many times heung soo tells him things like that, he just can't control it. how could he, when he knows that the only reason heung soo is in a state like this to begin with is because of him? knowing that much, knowing that heung soo will always have to suffer that way because of him... what other face can he make? it's not like nam soon just ruined his chances at going pro with soccer, or even just wounded him in a way that he would eventually recover.
it's been three years, and still... things like this happen. a distance that heung soo could have easily covered, and even ran three or four times the amount grounds him completely. he's to the point of writhing in pain. there's nothing nam soon can do to hel him, and in this state, he absolutely can't forget the things he's done.
that's exactly why tears still slide down his cheeks, why he holds back anything resembling an actual sob, and why he doesn't bother to wipe them away. nam soon knows it's uncomfortable. he knows he's supposed to be trying to put these painful moments behind them for the better of their future, for the sake for moving on and making this reconciliation worthwhile, but it's the sort of guilt that just hasn't had enough time to fade yet. even if on most days now, they can carry on fine, the scars are too deep to heal that quickly. maybe there will be a time when things come to this and nam soon holds his composure together. but right now? it's not much of an option. all he can really do is try. try to calm down, try to help, try to assure heung soo that there's no way anyone will be left behind again.
and that's why as soon as heung soo makes an attempt to sit up, nam soon rushes to changes his own positioning. moving away from the pained leg, he reaches out to grab heung soo's arm and steady it. that's something of a wasted effort, when nam soon is still trembling from the panic, but it's all he can do.
"going to be fine?" nam soon has his doubts in this state. his eyes dart around the area, seeking out either something familiar (there's none of that), or something helpful (there's not of that either, at least, not within his line of sight.]
A hospital. [that's what they need to find. heung soo needs to be checked out. something, anything. they've escaped the danger — they can look for that much now, right? there's the issue of how to get his friend there though. he's in no position to stand let along actually walk right now. even if he was... nam soon couldn't let him anyway. all the same, he can't leave heung soo alone to find anything, either.
so he takes a moment, finally wiping away the fallen tears with his sleeve and sucking in a breath. there are more that still threaten to fall, but he's doing his best to steel himself for the time being.] I'll carry you to one.
[he doesn't care how terrible or ridiculous it looks. if giving heung soo a piggyback ride for 10 miles while they find a hospital is their only option? he'll do it. no hesitation there.]
but... hoonah..................................
He tries to swallow down more of the pain, enough to properly talk to the other. Heung Soo can see how Nam Soon's finally trying to force back the tears, so the least he can do is try to force the pained reactions down as well. As hard as it is with the sharp pain shooting through his leg, he doesn't want to hurt him any further. ]
.. Really?
[ It's not surprise. Not surprise that Nam Soon would do that, anyway. After the way his (the former) friend chased him around the moment he transferred, he'd expect Nam Soon to suggest as much. But it's more just concern. Nam Soon may have been Tsunami, he may be incredibly strong for a guy their age.. but even so, Heung Soo's a little taller and not as much of a beanpole. Even aside from it looking ridiculous (an argument he's trying to force out of his mind right now since it's not going to help jack shit), he's mostly trying to think of the other here. Even when Heung Soo is obviously the one who needs help right now, unable to get anywhere on his own.
He lets out a breath - a little shaky because of his leg, and he winces even when he tries to keep the worst of it down - and glances over to the other. God, what is it about them that they always manage to get stuck in the shittiest situations like this? ]
Just.. [ ... ] .. don't do anything stupid.
[ It's not a protest against the whole idea, it's more just him saying "don't do anything you can't handle" but without those exact words. Because he knows Nam Soon would go far for him. Too far, even. He'd totally carry him even if he wouldn't be able to, that's exactly the kind of person his best friend is.
(Not that he wouldn't do the same, really.)
But he does realise there isn't exactly much of a different choice in this scenario for them. ]
don'T........ jae.... hee... yah....
he may have cracked seeing his best friend in this state, the guilt and knowing of his own fault and involvement still so prevalent, but he knows he can't linger on it. not for his own sake (a guy who locks himself away for a year out of guilt and misery has already thrown away too much of his pride for that, after all), but for heung soo's. regardless of the cause or origin, he's in pain now, and he needs someone to help him. he needs someone to not leave him behind like in the past, and he needs someone who can keep their word on all counts — including transporting 70 kilos of bastard to a doctor.]
You know I'm stronger than I look. [nam soon's words come out with a shaky breath, but it's clear that he's trying to say the words with the normal brand of snark needed for moments when heung soo acts like a mother hen. the fact he can do that at all in that sort of pain makes that mentality feel even more necessary, though. heung soo knows best that the person making this offer is one who can definitely handle it.
...and even if it became a struggle, nam soon has every intent of enduring it until they get somewhere. he doesn't really want to linger, though. the more they sit around, the longer it'll take to get heung soo patched up and back on his feet again. that's what nam soon wants more than anything, now that they've escaped the monster (or whatever it was). so he turns, back facing heung soo.]
Grab on. [he doesn't want to move heung soo's leg any more than necessary; it'll be easier for him to left heung soo once he's holding on with a steady grip. it's better this way though, he thinks. at least like this, nam soon can keep his unsteady expressions from being seen by the one person he doesn't want seeing. as much as he's trying, there are plenty of expressions he just can't entirely hide in this state...
and it's definitely easier if heung soo can't see any of them. not the guilt, not the worry, and definitely not any strain he may incur by going about things this way.]
would you rather have the muffled heirs theme
But again, there's no choice. If Nam Soon really threatens to collapse under it then he'll tell him to stop, but they have to at least try. Especially since it feels like his leg is never going to stop throbbing with pain at this rate.
So with the little bit of strength he still has left in the rest of his body, he tries to turn himself enough so he can actually grab onto his best friend. First his hand lands on his shoulder, then the other hand.. but he knows he's going to have to hold on pretty firmly since he doesn't want to put too much strain on Nam Soon in just having to keep him from slipping. So the hands move a little further, meeting in front of the other's chest so he's clinging to the other's neck and top with his arm.
Of course that also means having to move his body - and therefore his leg - a little in the process, and he can't bite back the pained groan even though he wants to so badly. Instead he breathes it out against the other's back, trying to muffle it against Nam Soon's clothes, near the bottom of his neck.
Damn his bum leg. Screw everything. It's frustrating and painful enough to bring him near tears. The last thing he wants to do is look so pathetic, and even beyond that he really doesn't want to sound so pained in front of Nam Soon. He knows his best friend well enough just how many bad memories it triggers for the both of them. So he manages to bite back half of the next groan, even though the shuddering and shivering breath still escapes him against the other's skin. ]
i will take muffled hongki over muffled jin se yeon any day
[despite the way he sighs and says the words with some kind of annoyance, nam soon definitely doesn't mean his words that way at all. it comes out of a place of concern, genuine worry that heung soo is holding back the amount of pain he's in for someone else's sake. it's the sort of weight nam soon doesn't want to bear — not like this. it hurts enough for him to know that heung soo is in pain because of him.
trying to hold it back to spare the guilty feelings just makes it worse, even if it's supposed to be doing him a favor. he'd rather heung soo scream and cry directly into his shoulder or his ear. he'd rather feel the pain of fingers digging into his skin, or whatever else it takes to be some kind of release for the amount of pain he has to be feeling. as long as his own face is obscured, as long as nam soon can continue to hide his own anguish over this situation... well, then it's fine. and as long as they're like this, it's a lot easier for him to do so.
he says nothing more for the moment, though. instead, all of his efforts go into strangely gentle movements. it's all an attempt to get a good grip on heung soo's thighs and stand up properly without hurting his friend any further. there's a certain fragility he knows he's dealing with right now, so nam soon takes extra care to not further agitate the injury, if it's even possible. he expects heung soo to yell and curse him in pain as he does thing — and that's fine, if that's what it takes. after some finagling, nam soon shifts his wait to stand upright; it's definitely a bit awkward for more reasons than one, but for now, the weight is definitely something he can pull around with relative ease.
...not that it stops him from making a weak quip to try and make heung soo feel less terrible about the whole thing.] Aye... this was easier when it was Song Ha Kyung...
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The thought is absolutely frightening, and he clings to the other even more, his grip tightening. Partially to keep himself balanced, but also just since Nam Soon really is like his life raft, the thing he needs the most after this absolutely shitty night. It's the one upside to all of this. That at least this time, he's not alone. As tempting as it is to let his thoughts fall back to that night three years ago when it had hurt this badly too, it's different. Nam Soon is right here with him, he's carrying him, he's not going to leave..
It's the one thing that can keep him from completely flipping out. If not just since he really does want to spare the other's feelings, even in this kind of situation where it's hard to only just think.
There's definitely more pained groans against the other - but they're not that loud, he's not screaming, even if there's something in there that sounds an awful lot like a sob. Apparently he's still holding back no matter what Nam Soon says, because he just can't put the image of that bastard crying just now out of his head.
Heung Soo sucks in a few deep breaths, trying to adjust himself to being in this position the best he can with his leg throbbing like crazy. He needs it, anyway, before he's even able to vaguely speak. ]
Am I s-supposed to say so-- sorry I'm not some pretty girl, bastard.. [ There's a pained edge to his voice that he can't hide, and his voice is a lot softer than usually. Although it helps that his mouth is pretty close to the other's ear anyway. ]
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[what is that even supposed to mean? who really knows, as they're just idle words that come from nam soon's mouth for the sake of being some sort of distracting conversation. the easiest way for him, for either of them, to cope is to be combative, even if it's just in words and tones. and really, that's all he feels like he's capable of doing right now, beyond the physical actions.
his grip on heung soo is like iron, there's absolutely no way he'd falter right now, even if his body wears down and gets tired. for now, he's okay, despite the weight, but even if he wasn't.... he'd press on silently without letting the other know. he won't rest — he can't until they find a place for heung soo to get his leg checked on. it's arduous though, and not just because of the physical strain it puts on him. nam soon can feel the tightness of his grip, he can hear the ragged breaths, and he knows.... he knows all too well how much heung soo is trying to hold back his suffering. he knows just why, and that makes this whole thing even harder for him.
he finds himself sucking in his own deep, quiet breaths. nam soon has to stay calm, because even if heung soo can't see his face, he'd undoubtedly be able to feel the change in his body motions if he were to sob; he doesn't want that. but nam soon hates this, he hates this suffering, and he hates that all he can do to help is try to keep his composure and press forward.
the guilt is continuously racking him... which is well likely why a couple of tears he'd been holding back still slip past; at least heung soo can't see that though.
how the hell did they end up in a situation like messed up?]
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But even though he can't see it, he can still feel it, know it. Because he knows he isn't the only one who's feeling shitty right now, that they're both at their worst. And maybe it's for his own peace of mind too (because it distracts him from thinking about the way his leg hurts so damn much, about the way it feels like his everything is going to burst and all he can do is hang in there since he doesn't know what else there is to do) that he's thinking more of the other than about himself right now. Heung Soo can't do a damn about his leg or about his own state right now since it would foremost require getting rid of the pain surging through him every other second, every single time there's a bump in the road or every single time his weight shifts a little bit.
But he can do something about his best friend. Maybe. Hopefully. Everything seems so bleak right now that he isn't sure if he could even get through to the other, especially since he tends to take everything a lot worse and more emotional than Heung Soo himself.
(As far as there's still a thing as worse in this scenario.) ]
N.. Nam Soon-ah.. [ His voice is soft, choked from the pain he has to endure, but he still has to speak up. He can't continue to let the two of them remain like this, with him being silently carried throughout unfamiliar streets.. ]
.. Stop blaming yourself.
[ Because he knows Nam Soon has to be doing that to some degree right now. Understandably so, since he was the one who broke his leg, if that hadn't happened then they wouldn't have been in this situation to begin with. But the last thing Heung Soo wants is for the most important person to him to wreck himself over that fact now of all times. He can't even see Nam Soon's expression, but that only makes him more worried that the other is feeling just as shitty as he is right now, even if he may not have trouble with a bum leg. ]
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[he sucks in another quiet breath. he's not fine, because neither of them really are, not right now. the truth of the matter is that they're at the closest thing to rock bottom — the only way it could be a step lower would be if they were bearing these moments alone. if nothing else, they've got each other... for whatever that may be worth.
but still, it's a very small thread that seems to be holding either of them together right now, and it's only made more frustrating by the fact that he has no idea where they are or where they're going. it seems like there's no end in sight; roads and alleys lined with more neon lights and signs than anywhere he's ever seen in seoul. he just wants to find a hospital before things get any worse. nam soon guesses he can be grateful they managed to evade whatever the hell that this was at the party, but what does it matter beyond that? especially when despite all that, and despite the amount of pain his best friend is in, the concerns are being deflected on to him. nam soon has a hard time accepting that? how can he keep pushing through that pain (that he can clear hear breaking through in tone) to try and console him over matters he was at fault for? heung soo is the one who needs to be worried about now.
for nam soon, the guilt is overpowering, but it's not new to him. he lives every day of his life steeped in it — it's just that tonight, it's smacking him in the face. he's grateful for the fact that heung soo can't see his face... at least by the time they find a hospital, he'll probably be able to pull himself together well enough.]
...Worry about yourself. [he doesn't want that worry on him. he doesn't deserve it, after all. he'd rather heung soo keep his concerns to his own leg, then nam soon can focus on that aspect of it rather than his own involvement.
and besides, he can bear the guilt alone for now. even if it crushes him and suffocates him, he'd rather do that, because no amount of apologies or reconciliation can change the fact that he's the sole person at fault for heung soo's condition.]
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Especially when it comes so naturally, especially when it's what he's been doing for so long, being the guidance that Nam Soon never had in his life, being the one to care for him, show him that there's something more to life always..
He's always been doing that, so how can he stop now when they both need it the most?
So the fact that Nam Soon is deflecting every attempt at it is more frustrating than his leg hurts, threatening a headache strong enough to split his head apart. ]
O-.. of course I'm.. nn--nngh, gonna worry, you punk.. [ There's a growl in his voice. Partially from the pain he has to endure, but also since he just wants to get this through to his best friend's thick dumb skull already, his grip tightening marginally. ]
Telling me to.. n-not hold back.. a.. and then doing the same... [ He sucks in a sharp breath, a hiss. ] Did you think Iii-- I'd not notice?!
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[he says the words, glowering... but the truth of the matter is that it only pisses him off because he knows how badly heung soo has to be hurting right now. why can't this bastard ever just think about himself? can't he be selfish and focus on his own problem instead of being the mother hen and worrying about his idiot bastard of a friend?
it's not like he can even find a way to articulate the things he wants to say. nam soon is so, so bad at this, especially when his head is spinning from how overwhelmed he is. he keeps his jaw clenched as tears spill; he holds back every sob, but by the time heung soo will be able to see nam soon's face again, his eyes will be undoubtedly red and puffy while his cheeks will be tear stained. it likely doesn't help that the strain of carrying another person is there, as much as he's even more resistant to making that apparent.]
Shut up and think about yourself, you dumb bastard! [he can only hold back for so long though... he's still got those traces of tsunami within him, and when he can't cope with something emotionally, he's like a volcano. but even though he's yelling, it's obvious that he isn't really angry at heung soo. he's upset, and he's crying, but his yelling seems to be more a guttural reaction than anything else.] Don't... don't worry about me so much.
["i don't deserve it," he believes, especially when he is the cause of this all to begin with.]
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Instead he's just quiet for a moment. Maybe since Nam Soon yelling is actually what keeps him grounded this time, or maybe it's that the pain in his leg is so heavy and numbing and distracting that he doesn't really have enough energy to yell anyway.
His answer is actually pretty quiet, although there's something incredibly tired about it too. It's already taking a lot of him to just stay conscious with the pain running through him, but he's already told himself he has to hang in there until they find a hospital. Nam Soon isn't giving up on walking either, so he has to stay conscious, stay aware, even when the pain makes it so tempting to just slip away for a moment. ]
.. if I don't do it.. then who's g-gonna, bastard..?
[ It's not like Heung Soo has anyone other than Nam Soon to worry over him either. Here, at least. But his sister is waiting for him, and she would doubtlessly have tried to help him in any way possible in this situation too.
But Nam Soon doesn't have anyone like that. His dad is alive, sure, but he's hardly around, and it's just not family in the same way Heung Soo's older sister is his family. Nam Soon's only family, the only person who cares for him - it's Heung Soo. It's him.
So he has to do it, even now. Or maybe especially now, when it's a good distraction from his own misery, and when he knows they're both at their lowest points anyway. ]
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[it's all he can say right now, isn't it? nam soon knows that there's no way to make his friend stop worrying; that sentiment is one they share eternally, after all. they always worry about one another when the situations become trying, and now isn't any different. but still, nam soon wants him to just shut the hell up.
everything is such a mess, and they have no idea how they even landed in a situation like this. adding in the pain he knows his friend is feeling, and his own feelings of self-deprecation, and it leads to nam soon wishing they could just stew in silence until they find somewhere to take care things. maybe it's because they're both at their lowest that nam soon should be relying on the fact that his friend is trying... but he doesn't want it. not right now. right now, all nam soon wants to do is help in all the ways he should have three years ago. heung soo may be trying to hold on, but nam soon wants him to just listen to his body's cues. hell, if he passed out, at least he'd be spared the hassle of being awake through the excruciating pain.
...it's not like he wants to hear the suffering in his best friend's voice, after all. it just makes everything worse, rather than better. how is he supposed to hold back, or keep his composure when the pain he's the root cause of drips from heung soo's tone?]
Worry about me later. ["don't worry about me at all, i don't deserve it."] Worry about yourself now.
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But even though his best friend isn't turning and running away this time, even though he's carrying him.. he still knows he won't be anywhere further with this. It's like he's meeting a brick wall headfirst, and although he's stubborn enough to at least try a little more than just one attempt, he knows this is just it. Nam Soon's not going to accept his worry right now (and although he can understand why, it's just much more convenient to let his mind wander to the other's wellbeing rather than think about his own leg and about how much it hurts and about how much he hates being stuck with it and all the connotations behind it that come up every time it starts hurting).
His grip on the other tightens a little, and his head moves to rest against Nam Soon. His eyes close, but he's not passing out or going to sleep at all.. he doesn't want to do that, he doesn't want to be the one to abandon his friend in that way this time. Especially when it isn't sure if they'll even find a hospital and when everything is this weird.. he'll endure every single part of the pain if he has to, no matter how unbearable it feels, and how red shoots behind his eyes with every single stab of pain.
Like this he can only hear the other's breath better (and how it hitches just a little) and feel Nam Soon's heart pound like his own, wildly and quickly in panic.
He's not so sure anymore whether he's clinging that tightly for his own comfort or for the other's.
Probably a bit of both. ]
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nam soon knows how much pain he's in. he knows it probably doesn't compare to the original injury, and he also knows that he can't even truly fathom just how much physical pain that really is. he just knows that heung soo is in a lot of pain, and even if only tangentially, he's the cause of it. but still, he understands it while it's weighing on him heavily, the feeling of being leaned on, on being relied on somehow makes it slightly less daunting. the panic hasn't left his body so easily, of course, but it doesn't change the fact that this is a strange and silent turning point in their friendship. it's something they hadn't been able to do in these last three years, because nam soon had run away.
but heung soo is putting enough trust in him now, so no matter how heavy it gets (both physically and emotionally), he'll press on.]
It's okay... It's okay... [he hums the words softly. nam soon doesn't know if it can or will bring any sort of comfort at all, but even through his own tears, they both need to keep reminded of that. somehow, it'll be okay. they're together, they haven't given up... they can't stop now, so it has to be okay.]
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.. the soft mumbling that Heung Soo couldn't possibly miss.
This bastard.. it took him a while to figure out just how Nam Soon became the way he did, that it wasn't all just some act to mess around with him. But now, even if he doesn't know the full extent of it.. he knows that Nam Soon's the type who keeps all his troubles to himself, who just tries to bear it all. Just like this. How many times did you tell yourself that like this in the past, bastard..? Is it what he told himself that night when he ran away from the hospital, the complete opposite of this moment here?
Heung Soo's never told himself it. Mostly since he knew it wouldn't be okay, and he didn't want to delude himself. When Nam Soon ran away and didn't show up again, he knew it wouldn't be okay. When the doctors told him about his leg, he knew it wouldn't be okay. When he went to Nam Soon's house in the hope of maybe still making amends and found nothing there anymore.. he knew it wouldn't be okay. So he never told himself it would be.
This is different though. This time, Nam Soon is right there. Carrying him, not leaving him behind, trying to stay strong through it all just as much as Heung Soo is.
It's soft on his part too, but.. ]
.. it's okay..
[ It's the first time he's said it like that - it almost synchronizes with one of Nam Soon's repeats of his mumbling. ]