//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[agonism]

Yeah, but — !

[ There's a pause, and then Santa Bot starts dancing and spritzing them with credits. Gon decides to let it drop, he knows Killua knows what he's going to say (something about Razor), and he knows what Killua's going to say in return (this is not Greed Island). It's like they've already had the argument without having it in the first place.

Then, though, he has a thought. ]

... What if the event's not done?

[dielectrics]

[ Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, Killua's glad they can skip that argument, but Gon's totally right, and Killua was really hoping this wasn't the case because he'd really wanted to tear out the snow queen's heart for mind controlling Gon more than he'd wanted to keep the quest going.

But now Gon's brought it up, and they totally will get better loot if they finish the quest to the end. But that means helping the snow queen somehow, and he still is holding that grudge in a death grip. ]

We're getting plenty of credits now, aren't we? [ He's doing his best to ignore how Santa Bot is dancing. But he looks at Gon's face and sighs. Gon's going to insist that they help the snow queen, and Killua is going to put up resistance until Gon wears him down and hey, it's like they've had this argument without having it in the first place, too. Killua knows when Gon's got his mind set on something, it's not worth arguing. He sighs and slants Gon a baleful look. ] You wanna finish the quest, don't you.

[ Not a question. Definitely not a question. ]

[agonism]

Of course I do! It just... doesn't feel right leaving things like this.

[ Not when it feels like there's more to it than what's being shown to them at the moment. Greed Island ended up being more than just a video game, after all, is it not possible that ViViD is the same? In fact, considering the circumstances under which they started playing it, it seems pretty likely ViViD might be more similar to Greed Island than initially anticipated, too. ]

... You're okay with it, right?

[dielectrics]

[ The look Killua gives Gon for asking that is bordering on incredulous. Since when has Gon asked if it's okay when Killua's given in about him wanting to do something? If he wasn't okay with it, he wouldn't acquiesce, and it's as simple as that. ]

What's with that? You're usually way more selfish. [ He waves his hand dismissively; he's never minded Gon's selfishness. He's never thought that Gon's asked him too much, not when Gon's his friend. He can't imagine anything being too much. ] You want to, so it's fine.

[agonism]

Well, it's just that you kinda tore her heart out.

[ Which led Gon to believe there was maybe some strong personal feelings, because he hasn't seen Killua do something like that in a while. It probably helps that he doesn't really remember the period of mind control he experienced; mostly he'd just gotten the impression that he'd had a very bad dream. ]

[dielectrics]

[ Oh, right, that. Wait, what does Gon mean by sounding like it was an overreaction? That was totally the proper amount of pissed off for someone mind controlling his friend, especially when it wasn't even a real person. Does that mean... Does Gon seriously not remember?! ]

Yeah, [ it sounds more like duh ] because she'd charmed you. [ Before Gon can ask for an explanation of video game status affects, Killua adds: ] She was controlling you.

[agonism]

... Really?

[ Gon takes a moment to mull this over. That... kind of makes sense; he's not sure why else he'd have a sudden blank spot of memories of ten minutes or so. ]

Was it through her song? Then how come you weren't affected either?

[dielectrics]

Because I'm not a moron like you!

[ Honestly, he's not sure why. Maybe because he'd realized what was happening to Gon and it couldn't catch him unawares? Whatever the reason, he's just glad it was him.

Not that the damage being undone has made him think any more charitably of the snow queen. ]

Anyway, I don't like her. But if you wanna help, it's fine. It's just a game, after all.

[ He may hold an NPC's programming against it, but he won't let it keep them from having fun. ]

[agonism]

[ Is that really how it works? Clearly Gon's role as a ViVid gamer is to be schmuck bait. ]

Mm, let's do it, then! Since it's a game, we should enjoy it as much as possible, right?

[ More importantly, though... ] Where do you think we should go next?

[dielectrics]

[ Schmuck bait is a very important role. Killua might be loading him up with status-effect resistance items if those exist pretty soon, though. Especially since he's not surprised at all that Gon wants to have fun with the game. Even if it's not one created by Gon's dad, Killua would expect no less. ]

We should look around and see if there's any clues. If she's part of the next quest line, then Santa's probably secretly evil and holding her captive or something.