//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[purethingsonly]

[It's all she can do to watch the poor droid fly through the air and past her, though she appears to be glad to see it's still in one piece. Only to watch it diligently hover back in the direction from whence it came. Back to--]

Elliot!

[Despite his consistent loathing, she's always liked Elliot. She's never once doubted her impression of him, even though he'd hardly ever shown her personally any reason to have such faith. But she knew that no matter how he acted towards her - Elliot was a good person.

So here they were again, their feelings once again very different - between his discomfort and her general happiness to see him.

Utterly ignoring for the moment the implications of the persistent bot.]

It really is you... it's good to see you.

[meriter]

[ Only Ada Vessalius would be thrilled that the woozy, vertigo-spun mistletoe bot came out intact despite his best efforts to send it in airborne (out of sight, out of mind), but on second thought, it goes without saying that'd she react so blithely out of the blue — he didn't spend his entire time insulting her dukedom over non-issues.

No one could be that saintly. It was unnerving enough that she was endlessly kind despite the fact he'd done little more than insult her in turns, but considering her brother was a chip off the same block of weird, unnecessary philanthropy, he usually took everything they said with a grain of salt. ]

We're not friends. Don't call me that.

[ Elliot makes a point to maintain his distance (projecting his voice as stridently as ever), but he hasn't gone stalking off just yet, which is a marked improvement from dissing her at face-value and leaving the scene without pausing once. ]

I could be fake. How do you know I'm not just another illusion conjured up in this place? You shouldn't be so quick to believe the things you see.

[purethingsonly]

[Ah. Right. He was always telling her that, wasn't he? Even so... maybe she hoped that one day they could put their houses aside and be friends. And that on that day, he wouldn't have to correct her.

Immediately following his suggestion, Ada shakes her head, closing her eyes and smiling softly. Not that he was entirely wrong - her faith could be quite misplaced at times. However, though she could be a bit airheaded at times, well... it wasn't like she didn't put thought into others.]

A fake would have no reason to point out that possibility. But also... you're Elliot. I know it.

[He might try to keep his distance, but she attempts to close the space a little - to a slightly more comfortable conversing distance.]

After all, it's not like Elliot is someone I wouldn't recognize.

[There was a lot about Elliot that was particular to him. His actions, the way he spoke. she didn't believe that those kinds of things could simply be imitated. Not and fool someone who really knew that person anyway.]

[meriter]

[ Right, she also happened to be the abnormally optimistic type. Given any other course of action he would've avoided her entirely, but she just happened to be another unfortunate facet of communal living at an academy geared toward nobility, so sticking to his guns and flat-out disparaging her seemed best.

And while those traits — humility, compassion, an amiability near-magnetic in its sheer level of persuasion despite the odds — would've been worthy of lauded praise in another person, all he does is shift his stance from one foot to another, voice stilted toward peremptory exasperation. ]

To further deceive you. It wouldn't be the first time you were so easily duped. Really, someone like you shouldn't be here in the first place.

[ But if he ditches her now, he'll have that weight hung over his head, and he doesn't want to be the harbinger of frankly shitty news to Oz, who'd probably have an aneurysm on the spot if he found out Elliot left her stranded without any heed toward her safety or well-being. Elliot stubbornly sets his jaw in a clenching grimace. ]

Do you remember what you were doing before you arrived here? And more importantly — why are you here?

[purethingsonly]

[Others might see it as an insult, but Ada considers his words as though they were thoughtful advice, whether he meat it that way or not. However, even though there was a good deal of logic to what he says, she can't simply accept that kind of thinking for herself.]

Even so... I don't want to use those kinds of excuses to doubt people. Is that such a bad thing?

[Being easily duped for the sake of wanting to believe in people... for her, that was something she was proud of - something she never wanted to change. Of course it meant that sometimes she would be fooled or manipulated... but it also meant that she would never deny someone the chance they deserved.]

Before this...? [She bites her lip and nods.] I remember. But I imagine I'm here for the same reason as everyone else...