//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

phase i!

[meriter]

[ OH LOOK, a small Baskerville child — he's oh-so-casually reminded of the children under the influence of those Chains, which is ultimately what stays his hand in the end (more than whatever Oz had told him, unfortunately, although he's still meandering between some form of internal bargaining and possible depression as he proceeds through the five stages of grief). Anyways, he would've gone and saved her from that crowd of insufferable elves. It's relatively inconsequential for him to intrude in this point, but it's not like Elliot pays his own lack of acumen any heed as he halts just beside her. ]

Ridiculous. You let yourself be duped by them? They're obviously liars.

[littlestbaskerville]

[Lily remembers those children all too well, after all she came from right after they broke the stone. However she was an actual Baskerville and not some orphan's pretending to be one. She knows Lottie was insulted by it but she had bigger problems back home. So as her chain takes care of the elves she hears the person behind her and turn her head to look up. The others words hit her as an insult and she puffs out cheeks.]

Nu-uh! They are liars but that doesn't now does it?

[She jumps towards him and stares at his face. Oh, it's that guy! The one that was the contractor for humpty-dumpty.]

Hey! How are you here?

[meriter]

[ SAME DIFFERENCE ....... SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR THIS MURDER-HOMICIDE BUSINESS, HONESTLY .......

It's a good thing she isn't glancing up at him at the moment while he takes a long ascertaining stare to gauge her appearance, because his gaze switches between bewildered to perturbed the further he stares at this little munchkin putting up a frankly absurd argument. ]

They're suspicious. Haven't you ever read fairytales before? What sort of elves help people? They're more likely to kill you in your sleep than attempt to win your good favor.

[ BLINK-BLINK ...... MORE CONFUSED GOGGLING ......... ]

I could be asking you the same thing. Are any of the other Baskervilles here with you?

[littlestbaskerville]

[She's not that young! Geez. Plus this killing of elves is nothing compared to other things.

Barely noticing the gaze she looks him over herself. She doesn't feel any chain connected to him. That's a little disappointing, she wanted Bandersnatch to play with him. It might be for the best though, the guy didn't seem like he had good control anyway. Still...it was amazing that he was alive.]

Fairytales? Oh, you mean stories! Um...not many?

[Fang read her one or two a long time ago but nothing about mean elves.

Lily frowns a little at his new question and huffs.]

I didn't want to be here, you know! W-Why should I tell you? [AKA she is alone.]