//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[theunluckygirl]

[She takes a step back and her eyes go to the ground, avoiding eye contact for a moment. Not dead, that's good at least, but if it could take a blow like that and still live...What was this creature?

Jennifer swallows hard and follows him,clutching tighter to the handle of her knife.] I have, er...A knife... [She trails off lamely,realizing in the face of an actual sword it means nothing. She doesn't like using it much either, so again she's struck with a feeling of helplessness. You are less than nothing comes Diana's sneer in her mind and she shakes her head, quickening her steps to keep in step with him, shivering from the breeze.]

I didn't expect you to help in the first place. So... I still have something to thank you for. [She looks over her shoulder back where they came.] Can we escape without killing it, you think? We might be able to get far enough away before it can get back up.

[crosstobear]

[She has a knife, but does she know how to use it? From what Kenshin has seen, that answer is pretty obvious, though he doesn't say anything about that detail.]

Judging from what this one has seen of this place, it is wise to have some means of protection, although that does not always mean it should be one's first option.

[Which is basically a nice way of saying she probably shouldn't immediately rely on it in the future.]

...And hopefully it does not become the only one for us. If we can move on without engaging it again, that would be for the best.

[Kenshin falls silent for a few moments, keeping his eyes and ears open for any other surprises which could befall them at any time.]

Don't mention it. You were in danger and this one had the means to protect. It was only decent.

[theunluckygirl]

Not many people would think as you do. [About helping someone in danger, she means. She'd like to think she'd do the same, especially now, but even she wasn't 100% sure.]

Oh, um-- My name is Jennifer, by the way. [But she realizes a second later that he hadn't asked to begin with, and maybe he didn't care to know. Her grip tightens uneasily and her free hand twists her dress.]

I.. I'm afraid I'm rather useless if anything were to happen, but... You're very impressive. [Jennifer speaks quickly, like she's not sure if she should be speaking, but feeling like something--anything-- had to be said.]

[crosstobear]

[It's true, he hadn't asked for her name - learning one is a step toward attachment and that is a dangerous thing for Kenshin, or rather those who know him - but since she gives it anyway, he does the polite thing and looks over his shoulder to answer.]

Himura Kenshin. And some would have done the same, while others would have not. It depends on the person, this one believes.

[He falls silent as they continue their trek. Hopefully it won't take them long to get out of these woods and find some shelter or, even better, dry clothes for Jennifer.

But Kenshin has noticed movement among the trees and, because neither of them are talking, he can hear huffing, laborious breathing of whatever lies beyond. Is it another reindeer? A herd? If Kenshin were on his own, this wouldn't be much of a problem, but with Jennifer now, he has to adjust his reactions. He can't just go at his own pace or where he pleases right now.

Still keeping his voice level, he continues.]

Please do not be alarmed, but we seem to be approaching more of those animals. This one would appreciate it if you would stick close to him for now.

[Having Jennifer so near would make any defensive maneuvers more difficult, but since he can't trust her to stand her own ground, this is the better option.]

[theunluckygirl]

Pleased to meet you. [Studiously polite, she lets the silence reign comfortably. She has no intention of breaking it, letting her thoughts turn inward.

She clearly wasn't home, or at the orphanage or anything like that. So...was this not one of her memories at all? Had she run away or been thrown out at one point? Saved by a wandering man? It wouldn't be the first time that happened, though this one at least seemed less inclined to lock her in his basement for a few months.

Jennifer's memories were blank, but this was a common occurrence for her. In the end she supposed it didn't matter-- sooner or later she'd find out what was happening. If she'd been crowned the Princess than the Aristocrat Club didn't pose a threat to her anymore, did they?

Oh-- He was talking. She brought her attention around, brow furrowing slightly as she wet her lips anxiously.] Y--Yes, of course. Just tell me what I need to do. [She could follow orders fairly well, at least.] I won't get in the way.

[crosstobear]

Just try to remain calm for now.

[The last thing he needs is for this woman to lose it and run or scream or do anything else similar.]

This one suspects they are not normal animals, but they are still animals at their core and they can sense fear.

[They continue to walk and Kenshin notices that the reindeer seem to be getting nearer, closing in on all sides. But he doesn't panic or make any sudden movements, though his hand does go to the hilt of his sakabatou.]

Jennifer-dono, are you terribly cold?

[If he can keep her mind off of the danger around them, even just a little bit, then he'll do it, but he also is concerned for her health. He can feel the chill in the air and he's dry, so Jennifer must be miserable.]

[theunluckygirl]

[At worst she might faint, but she tries to keep that possibility out of her mind.

Calm. Right. She wished she had Brown here; while she knew she'd have to move on without the dog at her side, she didn't think it'd be at a time like this.]

I-- [Cold. Yes, but she couldn't be sure now if her shivering was from the chill or her anxiety.] I'm alright. I've had worse. [At least no one was shoving her in a coffin after soaking her this time, right?? She forces a meek smile that isn't very reassuring.

After a moment she admits, reluctantly:] It's a little chilly. But please don't waste your concern on me. [Jennifer keeps her gaze on the path ahead, resisting the urge to look around and acknowledge the reindeer-creatures pressing in. Maybe if they ignore them they'll go away...]

[crosstobear]

[If only ignoring them were enough to get by, but Kenshin knows better.]

It is not a waste. For the moment, you are in this one's care. He would be amiss if he did not pay attention to such things.

[Though that attention is, admittedly divided, and it's a good thing for one reindeer finally braves the path in front of them. And then just stares. And it is pretty unnerving with the way those red eyes really seem to comprehend, but Kenshin clears his throat.

His hand remains on the hilt of his sword.]

If you are looking for treats, you will find us severely lacking, this one is afraid. We are very skinny and unappetizing.

[........What. It might be intelligent.]

[theunluckygirl]

[Jennifer opens her mouth and then closes it, somewhere between confused and bewildered. It wasn't as though she didn't know kind people existed in the world, she had just encountered so few that she didn't know how to respond.] ...Thank you...

[The reindeer stepping in their path has her tensing, inching over so she's more behind Kenshin than to his side. Which is a good thing because the look Jennifer shoots him comes too quick before she could think to cover it up. Really? Negotiating??

The reindeer doesn't look terribly convinced either, pawing at the ground and staring them down. Jennifer keeps her voice low] I don't think that matters to them.