//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[awaken]

Katsura-san, then.

[ Always be respectful to your elders! But, ah, she sees the pet store, too. She's reminded of a certain shiba inu who did all kinds of tricks—including beating the crap out of monster by himself.

She misses Koromaru. ]

Do you like cats, Katsura-san?

[bakudanma]

I should ask your name as well, Leader-dono.
_{[ bless this new acquaintance and her proper use of his name.
bless her.
Don't get him started. ]}

—They are one of the blessed creatures that walk the Earth. Strong willed in their ways much like samurai, w-with cute whiskers and paw pads. Press their paws for a surprise which is hidden; their adorable little claws.

A weapon that is hidden from the enemy and willing to strike at any second.

_{[ you got him started. ]}

Though, dogs are also wonderful. Loyal and always willing to assist and protect those they care about, much like samurai. They humble themselves and put others in front of them, but will not hesitate to bite and sacrifice for the ones they care about.

[awaken]

[ She's been called Leader, but Leader-dono is new. ]

It's Minako. Minako Arisato.

[ But, aww, he's so passionate about cats and dogs, that she'll humbly listen to his impassioned speech. ]

Do you like a particular breed, then? Or are all of them equal?

[bakudanma]

Minako-dono, I—
There isn't any breed that I like more. They are still the same creatures with their same instincts; their same passions and same hearts.
They share the same litter box and do not care— they have to walk amongst the same filth of this world together.

I enjoy all cats; I enjoy all dogs. I don't want to pick a side, nor a specific breed.

_{[ SO FUCKING DISTRACTED GOOD JOB. ]}

[awaken]

[ And that sure brings a smile on her face. A grown man so enamored of cute animals is a rare sight back home.

There's still no Ice Queen, but she's got some weird niggling feeling she's around somewhere. ]

You're a good man, Katsura-san. Ah, but do keep your guard up; she's probably waiting for an opportunity.

[bakudanma]

_{[ !!!!!! ]}
You're absolutely right! Ah, sorry. I've made my promise to protect you— so I will resist the whiskers and little feet to assure your safety.

_{[ he's made a sacrifice already for you.
with that, he treads more cautiously, still approaching the flames and keeping keeping his sword ready. ]}

—it isn't one of those, "haha! I have defeated the boss— but then you haven't" sort of scenarios, is it?

YOU'RE GREAT BTW also i realized i fudged my html back then...

[awaken]

It's fine; I'll have your back, too, y'know. Since you helped me snap out from her song earlier!

[ Now that you mention it, it does remind her of that. ]

Just like in video games, right?

DKJHFKJ THANK YOU ///// ;A; and no worries, SHIT HAPPENS.

[bakudanma]

From what I hear, it is a common trick in adventure and RPG games. Though, I have never seen it in the dating sims I've played.
<sub>[ his favorite. ]

[ Once he is close enough to the flames, he leans forward, studying the area and being careful not to get too close. ]</sub>
Santa-samaaaa, are you in here?

_{[ nope. ]}

We should continue to look.
_{[ though, he hears faint singing again. FANTASTIC. ]}