//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

phase i!!

[allthreefourths]

Did that-- happen, just now?

[ now it's surprising enough that mikhail is a dragon that hiccup's never seen before--but then there's being a dragon that he's never seen before that he swears just talked, and when the distressed cries continue it becomes a yes, for sure he just talked.

hiccup has to shake the shock off to realize that, yes, maybe he should help the poor dragon stuck in the lake. and by "shake the shock off" it's more like "get a major jolt back to reality" as the black dragon he's riding shakes his black body to get his rider attentive, after he's done with his own unimpressed observation of fellow dragon. ]

R...ight. Right! Let's go, bud.

[ it doesn't take a genius to know that toothless's body shake and expectant and impatient exhale of air means let's go already, which is what they're now doing as toothless takes to the air above mikhail. okay, he knows dragons can understand speech, but this one can talk... so hiccup's a little bewildered when he calls out: ]

Uh. Hey! Fire wooould be a pretty good idea right about now, don't you think? [ he'd get toothless to help out in that department, but he's not exactly sure how mr. talkative dragon would take that. ... of course, mr. talkative dragon didn't seem all that scary, given his speech.

but still. toothless seems pretty ready to add his own blast to the mix before mikhail has a chance to, but a hand from hiccup on his side stops that quickly enough. ]

[idiocy]

[ The white dragon takes notice of the other, slightly smaller, dragon that seems to be taking flight in the general vicinity. His gaze observes curiously, after all he's not at all familiar being in company with another dragon- at least one not bent on trying to kill or fight him. Still, he's positive that it's a dragon and not some.. stupid wyvern wanna-be knockoff, ugh he hated wyverns!

It's probably best that was the case, had it been a wyvern Mikhail would be directing quick fired hot balls of flame in their direction by now. Instead, he tilts his head to the side, thinking on the rider's suggestions. ] Fire? [ His jaws stay slacked, the voice sounding back to the other dragon and his rider. Then it really hits him.] Oh yeah! Fire! I can breathe fire!

[ Honestly, with his figure he was clearly an evolved dragon that looked more of an adult if anything. Certainly not a child what with his child-like tone and innocent way of speaking. Especially the giggling. Mikhail turns his head, carefully breathing fire now on the ice around him, though being careful not burn himself or the saddle strapped to his back. He knows for sure Zero would get mad if he burned it and forced her to get a new one.] Oof! [ Now he proceeds to push himself back on solid ground, which startles a few of the elves that dart away in fear. He doesn't pay attention to them at this point but to the rider now. ] Hey, thanks!

[allthreefourths]

[ thank the dragon gods that it's not how to train your wyvern. hiccup barely manages to note the saddle on mikhail's back now that he's up close. so... he's also got a rider? and he's giggling. and. everything. hiccup just doesn't know what to think right now.

at least the fire has managed to scare off some elves, and now that mikhail was free toothless decides, at that moment, to let off his own little plasma shot in the direction of some remaining elves, scaring the rest off. revenge.

and also freedom to land on the snow and let hiccup off so he could observe the totally majestic completely not child-like new dragon from the ground. ]

No... problem. I mean, you did everything. [ an annoyed exhale of air from mr. other dragon over here makes him realize that he should probably correct that. ] Uh, mostly everything.

[ he still doesn't know what to think. holy odin. ]

[idiocy]

[ Mikhail almost seems to be dancing on the spot with excitement at the praise, because even a little praise is praise and he- ..doesn't really get enough of that, no. If.. at all. No wait, he's sure he's at least been praised less than five times. ...Maybe even more less than that. Oh, right, he's distracted, he turns his attention to the human as both he and his dragon companion land.

Mikhail isn't really of the shy kind so he's more than eager to approach the pair, friendly and all given his relaxed composure. ( 'Relaxed' but still excited even then. ) ] Ehhehe naaaah, I'm pretty sure I might have drowned if you didn't come by and helped! [ It's hard to tell if he's joking or not, especially since he sounds like he's speaking honestly.

The white dragon lowers his head a little to get a better look of the two, tilting his head momentarily before he seems to remember something and straightens almost immediately as his voice echos out.] Oh right! My name's Mikhail! It's very nice to meet you. [ His long tail behind him starts to shake side to side now, happily. ]

[allthreefourths]

Wow. You really do talk. Like... a person.

[ he has to say that. there was an introduction and everything. the dragon told him his name. not that hiccup has much time to dwell on that, as there's an annoyed nudge from toothless. keep it together, hiccup, keep it together. ]

Oh, uh--we're Hiccup. [ wait. cue the annoyed eye roll from the dragon as he shakes his head. right-- no, that's wrong. ] I'm Hiccup. And that's [ gesture towards non-impressed dragon ] Toothless.

[ toothless, who is now on all fours and approaching mikhail, curiously sizing him up. yeah, mikhail is the bigger dragon, but toothless is also the dragon whose confidence doesn't quite match his size. it's not like he feels threatened by mikhail (who would, honestly), but. you know, still curious about a big new dragon. ]

It's... nice, and very surprising, to meet you too. About equal amounts of surprising and nice, maybe a liiiittle bit more on the surprising side.