//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[rollin]

I'm fine! [ Listen to those chords of steel. They can tell no lies. (Or they could, but one can easily see through them anyway.) He's still red. ]

C'mon, let's get outta here. I wanna grab a bite to eat after...

Ah, yeah. What... were you doing a while ago?

[alpako]

[ She was hoping he'd forgotten it... Very embarrassed, she manages, ]

...I was...trying to make fire come out...

[ By imitating Suoh-senpai. ]

[rollin]

[ HE SNORTS. HE REALLY DOES. ]

Was that Mikoto-san?

[alpako]

[ this is so embarrassing





She hangs her head slightly. ]

Yes...

[rollin]

[ That's cute. She is well on her way to raking up affection points. ]

Nah, that's not how you do it. Here, watch me.

[ Take it from senpai. He gets into position, ready to use his aura. ]

[alpako]

[ She raises her head to look... There's a kind of deja vu feeling. ]

[rollin]

[ Her eyes are on him. Somehow, he feels uneasy... ]

—don't look at me!

[alpako]

[ ...She thought this would happen. Saya looks to the side with a smile. Yata was really like the Yata she knew back home... ]

Ri-Right...

[rollin]

Anyway, it's really easy... [ No, Yata, that's just you. ] Y-you'll get it eventually. Don't give up!

[ Out of embarrassment, he runs a short distance, then stops to turn back. ]

You coming or what?

[alpako]

[ She hasn't been able to do it though... Saya watches as he runs off first, blinking in surprise when he actually turns back. ]

A-Ah, yes!

[ She catches up with him, holding her hands together from the cold. ]

I'll do my best, Yata-senpai!

[rollin]

[ ...! It's bad for his heart if he lets her call him that! But at the same time, he doesn't really mind. He walks at a moderate pace, never looking back as he continues their conversation. ]

Yeah... Why, though?

[alpako]

Um...

[ His question doesn't make sense. ]

Why...?

[rollin]

[ He sighs. Why does he have to clarify himself all the time!? ]

...Why were you tryna use your aura?

[alpako]

[ Because girls can't read your mind, Yata?! ]

Aura... Oh! It was a little cold, so I wanted to try.

[rollin]

[ ANNA CAN! ANNA CAN READ HIS MIND!! All girls should be like Anna, his flawless queen. ]

Oh.

[ Yata stops mid-step and mentally goes over his options. He can't ignore someone in need when he has the means to help them. ... Well, he did this with Yang, so he's a little more confident in his abilities. Drawing in a breath, he holds a hand out. ]

...your hands.

[alpako]

[ But doesn't he go "ANNA NOOOOO" when she reads his mind when he doesn't want her to?!

Saya startles when he stops, looking down to his hand... Is it okay, she wants to ask, but her voice is stuck in her throat. She wants to see his power. Slowly, she reaches out her hands and shyly puts them in his. ]

[rollin]

[ That's also very true. Anna can't be tamed. Maybe Saya can also read his mind, but only when he doesn't want her to. That would be a nice power to have, albeit useless on people who wear their heart on their sleeve.

Breathing out, he gingerly takes her hands in his, making sure she's comfortable with his hold. Unlike Yang, Saya's hands were bare. He could also feel how soft they were—and how cold. With his eyes on their hands, he focuses his aura around them, creating a soft red light and just enough heat to share with her. ]

... This good?

[alpako]

[ does Anna have to bring out a shoujo manga for Yata...

She's never held a boy's hands before. Yatogami-kun had carried her, Suoh-senpai had grabbed her wrist, but this was different. Yata's hands were rougher, but warm.

The red light he calls forth isn't large fire like that one Suoh-senpai had summoned, but it's beautiful and warm all the same.

Saya smiles up at him, truly grateful. ]

Yes! I feel warmer and better right now. Thank you very much, Yata...senpai!

[rollin]

Yeah. Mm.

[ Yata answers her sincere gratitude with his usual bashful behavior. He'd let go and end it there, but he feels the need to tell her something more. ]

... When I use my aura, I think of what I really want to do with it, what I'm using it for. Everyone in HOMRA joined because they wanted to use that power for something. [ To change, to overcome, to protect. Without realizing it, he gently squeezes her hands. ] It's the same for you... right?

[alpako]

[ What did she join the Red Club for...? She had three choices then. The Silver Club had been nice to her; the Blue Club had seemed cool... She'd mistakenly thought there would be other girls and Kukuri had told her it was okay to just take a look around before deciding.

But she had decided on it.

Even if Suoh-senpai was scary, she had decided to try to join his club... ]

[alpako]

I'm a Strain.

[ She wonders if the term exists in his world, if he's -- afraid of her now, but it's too late to take her words back. ]

...A classmate told me if I joined one of the special clubs, my clubmates would protect me and helped me understand my powers. So, I...

[ ...joined the Red Club. ]

[rollin]

I'll protect you.

[ Just like that, without hesitation. Anna and Honami had gone to Mikoto for protection once. As the only member of HOMRA in this strange world, Yata felt it was his turn to protect someone. Yata's seen this before; he knows what might happen if he loses sight of her. It makes his stomach churn just thinking about what they did to Anna. Saya... Saya doesn't have to go through that. He'll protect her because it's only right, but it's not his only reason. More than being someone to protect, even if Saya is from a different world, she's still HOMRA—the only piece of HOMRA he has left. He barely knows her, but he can't afford to lose her.

His grip tightens as he looks her in the eye and strengthens his resolve. ]

I'll protect you, definitely. Whether you're a Strain or not doesn't matter. The enemies of a Strain are really strong... but I'll be stronger.

[alpako]

[ She glances up, surprised at his sudden words, at the determination behind his voice.

Enemies... The people she was afraid of were the different clans fighting over her, but the way he says it, it's like he knows there's something more to it. Being told something this directly is...her heart trembles as she looks at him. ]

Yata...senpai...

[ How could she ever repay him for this? ]

[rollin]

So we gotta stick together, alright? You gotta—you gotta promise.

[ He braces himself for the moment she runs away. Irrational as it is to expect, it feels as if she could leave him at any moment. ]

[alpako]

Y, Yes...! I promise.

[ It's a strange promise for her to make, because she doesn't see herself leaving anytime soon. Saya squeezes his hand back, nodding. ]