//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[shivered]

Not normal reindeer!

[She tries to clarify, glancing back over her shoulder. They can't be far behind. A shake of her head.] I don't know. A while. I... don't know where I am.

[And now the sounds of the creatures approaching, coming into sight in all their blood-thirsty glory.]

[contusive]

[ is that, is that blood on their teeth? he hasn't heard of carnivorous reindeer unless in times of starvation, and even then... armin holds an arm, protective, before elsa. for the moment, the reindeer are holding their ground. ]

Were you with someone, ma'am?

[shivered]

[Oh. Oh he's protecting her. But he shouldn't be doing that. Not her. She's the dangerous one! Her and the reindeer that is.]

No. I'm alone. It's just me. [And it's better that way.]

[contusive]

[ so it could be animal's blood, right? that seems doubtful, though, because this place sucks a lot like that. and because it sucks, all these reindeer are in the same direction as the mall. — of course! they're guarding the path. (ugh.) ]

We have to find a way around them.

[shivered]

There's so many of them though.

[She could use her magic. She knows she could, but isn't that just as dangerous? And besides, she's even more hesitant to rely on that with someone else there to see it.]

How can we get by them? [If he has an idea, she'll happily go with it, she decides. Her magic will be a last resort. At least that's what she thinks just now.]

[contusive]

[ a quick glance of their surroundings offers... not much to help a break for it. not much to help the use of his gear, either. unless...! ]

We can scatter them. [ armin removes a small canister from his gear. it won't explode, but the decompression should frighten the reindeer. that gives them ample time to run. ] I'd have to get close, and we can't waste any time this would buy us.

[shivered]

[Elsa blinks at the canister, not sure what it is that she's looking at, but if he thinks that it'll help, she nods.] So... we'll have to run?

[Though, the idea of allowing him to get close, well... should she let him risk himself that way? Hesitating, looking as though speaking the words she says next is nearly as frightening as the reindeer staring them down.] Getting close is dangerous. I can help. I can get it where you need it. Tell me how it works.

[contusive]

[ that's brave of her, but armin doesn't feel he can allow a civilian to take his place. he shakes his head. ]

Decompression is dangerous. If you aren't careful, it can seriously injure you.

[shivered]

I won't be near it. Or them. Neither of us will be

[Elsa answers, hesitating again.] Just... I want to help. But I don't want to frighten you or... or hurt you.

[The fact that she's even considering tapping into her magic is a little terrifying, but the situation is pretty dire.]

[contusive]

[ he wonders... ]

What did you have in mind?

[shivered]

[Okay, Elsa, deep breath., she coaches herself silently, taking that deep breath before lifting a hand. Snow swirls from her fingers, drawing up a little spire of sorts of the snow.]

I can it out towards them... and I can probably manage to stop a few. I did before, until they all swarmed at once.

[But she's watching him closely to see if he's going to react badly to the magic.]

[contusive]

[ so it was ice! magic? oh, but who cares because — ]

That's amazing! Can you do more?

[shivered]

[Elsa blinks for a moment. Okay. Better reaction than she was expecting. So she nods.]

I can. I can't always control it though, so... [So she'll have to be careful. Make sure she's focused, try to keep her fear in check.]