//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE5.0.EXE Let it Go, Let it Fucking Go Already Let's keep pretending it's not technically October in the game while Yuletide thoughts continue to spread through CERES. Inspired by recent tragic events, your friendly neighborhood programmer, Elias (serritor) has constructed a wonderful new ice world to be accessed through ViViD, the popular virtual simulator. As expected, this is a world covered in ice all over with a chill that bores into one's bones as players wander through. In the midst of it all lies a beautiful reconstruction of a mall, complete with various stores to suit your online shopping needs. However, before you can indulge in any spending, you're tasked with a mission should you choose to accept. You will have to enter the frost-covered mall which hosts a large, elaborate labyrinth and complete all the objectives as they're given to you and your party. It seems that some horrible foe has arisen from the great beyond to kidnap Santa Bot (no relation to the futurama one). Unable to deliver toys and goods to the poor, needy adults of Cerealia, it's up to YOU to save him from a variety of enemies which include: a.) Nasty, foul-mouthed elves b.) A rabid flock of reindeer c.) An ice queen who will not stop singing d.) And a fucking minotaur. Why? Why not? "Ho ho ho! And seasons greetings, players! I am Julius Vincere, the CEO of CERES, and I must apologize for a few recent temperature modifications as of late. But we were able to fix that small glitch quickly. We were only hoping to cool things down by a few degrees after we received a few complaints about overheating equipment. It seems our robots went a bit overboard with our dome, which is a safety precaution we put in place in the event of an outside threat or invasion. There's no need to fear, and we hope you enjoyed warming up with one another in the meantime. Now, that that's behind us, let's have a little fun, shall we? I think some of you are familiar with the concept back in your home worlds. I observed enough to know that it's a pretty ostentatious holiday. That's why I asked my dear programmer, Elias, to build a simulation so we can experience a little bit of Christmas together. You can say it's a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Anyway, if you all would be so kind as to sample this world and tell me how it goes. I want to see what you all think and get you all in the festive mood. Consider this my deep apology for one mistake too many. We won't allow it to happen again."

//SCENARIOS.EXE PHASE I [ 0000 ] Let the games begin! You're dropped before a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the mall, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside. They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you where Santa is. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction to the mall. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water! PHASE II [ 0000 ] Once you've escaped the elves, another trial appears. This time, it's in the form of twelve savage reindeer with blood dribbling from their lips. Their eyes are all an eerie shade of red, and they're staring at you deeply as though they can see into your soul. If you hope to get into that mall, you'll have to fight them down and avoid being caught in their antlers. There will be lots of bucking. Copious buckings. Kill the reindeer and remove their antlers for a special gift! (it's a coupon for a free McCERES burger.) PHASE III [ 0000 ] Once you reach the entrance of the mall, you'll be confronted with the icy labyrinth, guarded by a minotaur. He is large and in charge and will probably try to mow you down once he sees you. None of your weapons or magic will work, though. To pacify this beast, you will have to hug him. He requires a hug with feeling. He will tell you as much when you confront him. Give him a good squeeze then let him be. Love can cure many things! PHASE IV [ 0000 ] Are you done running around this maze of a mall? Tired of seeing the same Vidia's Secret store a dozen times? Alas, there is one last trial. It comes in the form of obnoxious carols being crooned in your direction by a beautiful ice queen. She's beckoning you to her with a siren song in the form of merry Christmas music, luring you in little by little and making you walk towards her while she tries to enchant you. She'll lean in close and whisper the rest of the song in your ear, and once you're in her trance, you'll turn on your own friends and party members to try and kill them. To avoid being drawn into her trance, you'll have to be knocked around a few times to regain your bearings. Then, it's either destroy her or be subjected to her ice magic. However, before she dies, she'll look deep into your eyes and beg you to save her and not to forget her. She needs you. Once you defeat her, Santa Bot will appear to dance a merry jig in your honor and shower you with credits. Hooray! BONUS [ whyo'clock ] You can't escape Christmas without a random sprig of mistletoe floating around your head and following you around. For those who try to escape, the mistletoe bot will only move all the quicker. Those caught under its insistent floating will be compelled to kiss a neighbor or two or ten. Or even kiss the minotaur. What we're saying is you should probably run. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's fifth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[tub]

[ really care, he wanted to say. but, he doesn't. can't.

to be quite honest, were the damage just mere... injury or attempts at ceasing lives or gripping them by their precarious edges, he could easily have turned a blind eye. a moderately callous and disconnected one. little to no care. near zero fucks. but, it's the single second in which the flames are ignited that his lips immediately twitch. then, at a starling rate of inclination— curve downwards. his eyes flicker across them, and in this moment, he doesn't flinch. doesn't move. he's stuck in place. firm and his knees already threatening to weaken below him.

if he had to compare his current mental state to an actual color... pure white comes to mind. blank. devoid of thought. ] ... [ that is, until the panic settles in. there's a sound from the back of his throat. ] ... nu... [ but, it's not actual syllables or letters. ] ... st... [ stop. he swallows hard. he tries to remain composed, but it's so impossible for him. if stoves were enough to shock him into the immediacy of shutting them off... a fire bender is... an absolute nightmare. ]

[pyromanic]

[ he's so unfortunate that she's the first fire bender he's ever met. had it been someone else, someone with a shred of compassion or humanity, the production of fire elves would've halted right away and shu wouldn't have been subjected to further torment. but this is azula and azula's the type who smells fear in a person and revels in it. and shu's fear, well, it's probably more overpowering than a komodo rhino's fart.

really, truly unfortunate indeed. ]

Nu? St? [ she kicks away one of the elves on fire (towards him, really) as she walks around, looking around if there's any more of those poor creatures around to turn into a lantern. ] That doesn't sound like the start of the phrase "thank you".

[ after all, she technically did drive his elves away from him. so a word of thanks is a polite thing to say. ]

[tub]

[ her words are incomprehensible to him in the present. they reverberate with every bold nuance she infuses into them, sure. the sadistic manner in which she verbally seems to prod him into reacting— palpable in every syllable. but, despite these well-established facts, they don't serve any meaning to him. especially not right now. shu instinctively opens and closes his mouth. it's a slow action. one that isn't fluid or deliberate in the least, either. it's almost as if he had an idea or sentences to spill, but as he grasped something to say, nothing came out. ... and as expected, this is only made infinitely worse as the elf topples over in a burning mess near his feet. almost touching actually.

he's, in short, horrified. as an individual who couldn't even feasibly accept the concept of a burning building... it's evident what this does to him. the memories they spark. he can see it clearly, whether his eyes are closed or open and it's... enough to get his feet moving. he shuffles backwards. one, two, one... it's shaky. uneven and he then pivots. it's a clumsy movement, especially as he tightly keeps his eyes shut. but, as if that didn't look.... pathetic enough, he runs.

even if it's behind a tree only some meters away. or... on thin ice. let's see how careful he is. at least he's not full of muscles to weigh him down. .... let's just hope this isn't like the game where it ends up in blood sucking. (unsure) save me from this thread. ]

[pyromanic]

[ ah, he's running away. clearly uninformed of the memo that running away from her is simply triggering the instinct of hunting him down. then again most people seem to be, which only makes their game of chase a little more exciting and amusing. if only she knew that she's turned the tables on him, the predator turned into prey. too bad yui's not around to take great pleasure in it as azula is ... ]

Oh, are we playing hide-and-seek now? [ she calls out, slowly, deliberately following him at a leisure pace. her way of being a good sport, giving him a head start as he seems to be at a disadvantage with his extreme terror towards fire. but also because the elves have been babbling and waddling around. something about the correct path to some "mall".

but that can wait. it's been a while since she's gotten to play (try a year in the nuthouse) and zuzu's not around to indulge her. her smile widens. ]

All right! I'll start counting. One ...

[ there's a loud crack and the smell of burning wood as the nearest tree to her catches fire. ] Two ... [ followed by another ] Three ... [ and another ] Four ... [ and another. ]

[tub]

[ his voice is raspier now, the start and finish of his attempts at "speech" breaking off erratically.

though, in his defense, he's not offering much in terms of actual language. instead, focused in on more hushed verses of tones and inflections. syllables rolling off his tongue, only to hang in the air and dissipate, as he eminently struggles with the concept of regaining his bearings over the situation. it's almost when he hears the "hide and seek" and feels he's grasped at least the outer edge of it, that the fire begins following. that— the user who could produce them was, inexolorably, coming with. in a specific way that was akin to the natures his brother's possessed, actually. it might have been ironic enough to get a smirk out of him, or an overly arrogant half-way glance between his slightly impressed, but equally sarcastic remarks. sucks for him, that the latter two are the last of what he's capable of now.

he was meeting his fear in full and there was no immediate escape. the next tree falls and it's... fairly close to him. ] Stop... stop... stop it... [ so, he shifts to the left. further in. he forces himself to regulate his breathing, but, the third and fourth come now. he shake his head, already feeling completely out of balance and the loop. it's unfortunate that the ice beneath his feet are starting to break away, though. but, water may have not been a bad thing right about now. especially when he's this close to tears. good thing cordelia isn't sharing azula's body. no eyes will be gouged or licked. no such desire will be made, either. ... in theory. ]

i'm tempted to threadjack with reiji once shu starts crying

[pyromanic]

[ but i'm not that rude (maybe). and so is azula, the expanding forest fire and her tracks briefly halted at the first cry of stop.

let it be said that she was momentarily benevolent, that she actually listens to people — only she's not, only she doesn't and this ceasefire is her simply dragging the game a little longer and more amusing. giving hope then crushing it mercilessly under her boots. that's more like her, in her opinion. she kicks the snow melting into a puddle around her feet and occasionally, the elves that cross her path. ]

But it's freezing. [ well, not really. the cold doesn't bother her anyway (not when she can firebend). ] Why stop?

sele???? [shock]

[tub]

[ there's obvious displeasure marred across his features. but, even then, he battles against the nostalgia that metaphorically looms beneath the surface of his skin. it felt frigid and scorching hot all the same. it gave him chills, causes him to shiver, but not in the sinful manner in which he was normally accustomed to. it was... a constant scrimmage, a boundless amount of trials and tribulations. one that linked back to that fateful day and the embers that continued to illuminate his conscience even now. there's guilt latent within him, but there's also resentment. self-loathing. other similar concepts as well. his mouth tightens and he finally grits his teeth together. perfectly in unison. it's the only thing that directs his attention away for even a second. sort of, but just barely.

his senses are numb and he doesn't even comprehend the fact that the fire has temporarily "finished." paused. stopped. a truce of some breed... met, maybe. but, despite these facts, the flames are still visible to him. even behind his shut eyelids. then, he opens them. forcefully. unlike the preceding times, or the events subsequent to his timeline, he doesn't have the comfort of a familiar presence. isn't surrounded by voices on the streets, or saved by a the sirens of a firetruck.

so he knows that he has to seek comfort in other means. whatever those are. probably by whining out again... or sucking blood or... kissing (the only acts he's ever committed in states like these; not exclusively, no, but still), depending on how close she gets. by the time he peers over and utilizes the breadth of his peripherals... does he realize. yeah. so when she comes within a reasonable distance, he utilizes his quick (though partially dulled) reflexes to try and seize her wrist.

then, lean in. breathing still heavy. ] Don't come... [ idk what this is becoming... ]