ioculus | //TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

MOONFESTCON 2014 PART I: Embracing Lunacy

It's that time of the season to praise the two moons of Cerealia. As they hang in the sky, looking harmless and moon-like, the robots and CERES staff have gathered together to prepare a fanciful celebration. It's primarily located in the Pleasure District where paper lanterns hang and where fireworks are starting to burst in the sky. Everyone is welcome to dress up and enjoy an evening of fantastic pleasures, platonic or otherwise.

"Good evening! As always, I'm pleased you all can join me. Do enjoy all the beverages being passed around along with the many services we have to offer, all there for your pleasure.

Take time to play in one of our many booths or just slip away and have a crazy evening. The moons bid it. Don't be shy."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 1900 ] The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike.

PHASE II

[ 1945 ] The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia.

PHASE III

[ 2000 ] Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily.

PHASE IV

[ 2103 ] Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns.

Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's fourth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

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[Reim startles slightly at the hand on his shoulder, jerked out of his (ironically) robotic recitation. He glances hurriedly at Zara - Who—? - but since this stranger is evidently trying to rescue him and not make him play another game, he nods very officially as he looks back at the merchant in turn.]

That's right— It must have slipped my mind; terribly sorry, sir, but we do have a very important person to meet... Good day.

[Now equipped with this ironclad excuse, Reim shuffles back a few steps before turning on his heel to walk away. Come, bunny savior, let us away to the Meeting.]

I think so too. So then, let's retreat.

[He releases his hold on Elza and spins away, heading for the door. He trusts the other man to follow after him, sure that he'll keep up. Though he does glance back once to make sure that Elza is indeed coming along.

Now he just needs to find a door. He can totally find a door. But navigating through the crowd is the complicated part.]

An Earl? At age thirteen?

[ not unheard of, but impressive all the same. Zara's not clueless enough not to notice Ciel's clear distrust, but he doesn't mind ignoring it for now. There could be any number of reasons that would be inappropriate to pry at right now - and beyond that, it's perfectly reasonable to be cautious here. Goodness knows he is, too. ]

That's quite considerable... Forgive me for my rudeness, Earl Phantomhive. As you said, I haven't heard of your household. [ pause. ] ... That said, I'm afraid I have to hold onto these.

Just what I've said.

[ He shrugs, since clearly he prefers short, direct sorts of answers, to the point of not giving much of one at all... ]

If we're not working against each other, then it's not a distraction from the real problem.

Lying will turn your tongue black, you know!

[WHAT SORT OF SAYING IS THAT but Oz just looks amused... He can afford it now because he has no idea what the machine is for, or else he'd probably be making a similar face. BUT HE DOESN'T, so he can just internally laugh at Ciel being flustered instead... What a good life. He doesn't even seem to mind being shaken, though he does look a little disapproving at the suggestion.]

No, let's see if we can find who it belongs to. If it's bothering you, don't just send it off to bother someone else. [GOD, CIEL.]

A tactical retreat, [Elza makes sure to add.

They're definitely not running away or anything. 'Cause they're big strong knights who wouldn't be running away from a very (very very) persistent woman robot thing (whatever a robot is). When Nesso glances back, he'll get a fanged grin from Elza, a tip of his head.

Over there. He's spotted their exit, a way out into a less busy alley away from all the ruckus.]

[What a tiny, serious lord... This isn't a type of noble Reim is equipped to deal with. Where is the yelling and panicking??]

No, certainly not... [He gives the crowd one last slightly pitying look, then turns fully to face Ciel and incline his head politely.] Please, let's find somewhere more agreeable to sit.

[Please walk away from the giant-ass speakers, little sir.]

[ He nods, and his expression at least softens to some degree, since attaining his title so young is something that he's quite proud of. It came with considerable work on his part, after all, so of course he would be proud of such an accomplishment. ]

I inherited the title at twelve, technically. After my father's passing, it fell to me to run our estate, so I made sure to be prepared to do so.

[ It's much simpler in his explanation than it truly was, since it was also a matter of the Queen needing her watchdog... Surely, she had probably thought it would be several years before the Phantomhives would return to their position as the evil nobleman, but Ciel had made sure to inherit the title in full.

He waves his hand dismissively all the same, at least not put out by Zara not recognizing his family's name, and more endeared that he addresses him properly. Though... His insistence does pique his curiosity again. ]

...What are they, by the way? I've never seen anything like them.

A killing game...

[ She murmurs to herself. That really isn't all that different than what she's been witnessing with the whole curse thing going on in Crystal Cove, especially with the whole "working together" thing. That would have made her gag ages ago, but knowing how important it is now makes her lapse into silence. She wonders if it's for some sort of competition or—

Marcie becomes lost in her thoughts enough to forget they were even having a conversation just seconds ago. ]

[Mercy has smiled upon him in the form of a small shonen... Reim is glad to be cut in line no matter what, but oh, it's Oz—how nice!! He'll actually hang around for Oz, and he does, with only a few disparaging looks thrown at the game-runner when he's not looking. Yeah, take that...

He even has the gall to look apologetically over his shoulder as Oz herds him away, before they're a safe enough distance for him to look suitably worn out, as usual. He already met his Fun Quota for the day, can he get off this wild ride now... Somewhere in there there's a world-weary "thank you," because this is Reim.]

Do I...? Oh, no- keep it. I don't think I want anything to remind me of that for quite some time... [shudder... and a beat, since he was super bad at it and didn't see any actual prizes:] What is it?

[ No, this suggestion is worse, and it shows in how his frown increases into a full on scowl, even if his face is still quite red. ]

No, I do believe we shouldn't try and track down who it belongs to. That's a terrible idea.

[ They're a pervert, clearly. But Ciel also can't say as much without exploding in embarrassment, so here they are at an impasse. ]

[Reim's collection of tiny kids continues to grow. He's actually zoned himself out so hard that he's about to repeat himself again, before he realizes that was a different question and a different person altogether. He blinks; behind Cynbel, the game-runner looks like he's about to try again before he realizes there are other people in this line and finally gets lost...]

I— don't enjoy wasting my money. [he glances up at the game booth, regretting even doing it a few times] To be quite honest, I'm terrible at this kind of thing.

[He doesn't get to go to carnivals much, okay.]

[ It only appears when Oz appears, so you are safe for now, Reim... ]

[ Ciel nods to the suggestion, since he appreciates Reim being Sensible, for one, but he's also just glad to have an excuse to get out of the busy part of the party. All the people milling about makes him uncomfortable, though he at least doesn't show it outwardly. In any case, Ciel gives a polite nod of his head in return, since Reim has made a good impression despite his screeching. ]

Please, let's. This party is quite noisy and tiresome.

[ So the little sir will turn away and start to lead the way, simply because he's used to doing so... Though it must be hilarious looking since Reim is like double his height. ]

[This is a first. Definitely a first. It's not everyday that he sees Zara quite so flustered and thrown off from his usually impressively composed manner. So even if it's a bit unkind (more than a bit), Nesso can't help but be just a little (teeny tiny bit, of course) amused.

But it's not right to leave him to deal with that, not when he's just found him. So Nesso will do what any good knight would, swooping in to rescue someone clearly in distress. He swoops in to try to coax the robot away.]

Sorry, I'm afraid I have to cut in. [He mostly manages this bit of utter cheesiness without chuckling.]

[Cynbel is definitely enjoying the scene, but he knows better than to let that show as Ciel moves in his direction. If Ciel's so inclined, he just happens to be standing at the entrance to an alley that is too narrow for overly attached vending machines, if he needs a place to hide.]

It seems to be a right of passage for new arrivals to be chased by rogue machines around here. It's an unfortunate practice!

[Because really, this is just embarrassing for everyone around.]

Nap or no nap, eating like this is...

[ no good. Zara's eyes fall onto Oz's box of goodies as he turns where he stands, though, and he merely sighs. If this were Pearl and Richie, they'd be bouncing off the walls afterwards, and he'd be left trying to deal with the aftermath. But this is not Pearl or Richie, and so, he doesn't really have a reason to dissuade him from eating all those sweets. He'll leave that to some other babysitter.

Fortunately, Oz moves onto another question - one that he finds much more charming. Zara looks confused for a moment, then, a look of realization passing over his face, smiles, chuckling a little. ]

Hmmm? They're my real ears, of course.

[For now... truly, Hurricane Oz is ominous.

Reim is at least glad Ciel is amenable to getting the hell away from drunken reverie and who knows what else - this party is not high class enough, not at all - and doesn't seem to mind following him with a nod and an "Of course."

It probably does look hilarious, but it might also look like a guy desperately trying to babysit in the middle of a party, so which part is hilarious is up for debate. Reim would rather just leave, by any means necessary...]

Truthfully, the entertainment is a little beyond me... And that creature, well, our host failed to mention anything like that.

[She huffs, trying not to seem embarrassed.] Oh, what does a little boy know about fashion anyway? Besides, you shouldn't be rude about what poor people who can't afford real jewelry have to settle for wearing.

[But she'll go ahead and take it off anyway...only to shriek and hurl it at Ciel's face when she accidentally turns it on and it starts vibrating.] Wh-what is that?

[Now that the game-runner's busy with other people, Cynbel waves Reim over, so they can move out of the range of the crowd looking to play.]

I see! You must not come to these sorts of festivals often, then.

[He didn't want to embarrass himself, huh? Cynbel smiles, though he tries to make it sympathetic-looking.]

But it's not very rude if you just keep walking after declining, you know. Otherwise, you'll be bothered like that repeatedly, and where's the fun in that?

[OZ TO THE RESCUE... He will accept Reim's weary thanks with a little hum, because this is Reim and his sad old man thank yous are not a reason for fuss.]

I think he liked you! [Or maybe he just liked that Reim looks well-dressed and probably had a fair amount of credits... Maybe he could smell the sensibleness on him and figured he'd be easier to crack. FOOLISH GAME-RUNNER...

At the question, though, he'll reach back into his pocket and pull out the embarrassing second option, because Ciel has one too so clearly they need their matching friendship bracelets. He holds it out on the flat of his palm, head canting to the side a little in confusion. When it just sits there doing nothing, he shakes it, tries to twist it open, and then shrugs.]

Maybe it's some sort of puzzle game? Things from the future are really weird.

[Yes good, no scolding, Oz has escaped his babysitter for the time being and there is only donut eating in his future now...

Except he has to put his fattydingdongs food plans on hold for a bit because this is much more interesting than sweets!! A donut shop could be found on any street corner, but a person with actual rabbit ears is not so usual.]

They are? [SPARKLES FLYING OFF INTO THE SKY] Are you... a rabbit? [He has found his people...]

[This is literally the most stupid impasse to exist... Oz just figures that Ciel is being his usual temperamental self and maybe doesn't want to exert the effort necessary to traipse all over the fair with a weird machine in tow. IF ONLY.]

Do you just want to leave it here? The person it belongs to might be looking for it.

[He would rather be inside, in a quiet room, preferably with another powerpoint presentation. Let him go back to that room, he liked it there...

He does follow without protest, of course, as even the prospect of nosy children is better than that fiasco.]

Yes, well, he didn't seem to mind holding up his own line. The merchants here are unnaturally demanding, if you ask me.

The entertainment is terrible.

[ He's very quick to say that, actually. There is a sense that Ciel has been here much longer than he actually has solely because of how Done he seems to be with the place already. Though considering it's still an improvement from the last one, that does sort of contribute to his overall sourness. ]

But from my experience, our hosts tend to lie to us, or at least, to purposely omit important things. They're not as concerned with us as they say.

Of course. Certainly tactical!

[And not just two big strong nights fleeing an amorous lady. Nope. Nothing like that at work here. Nesso turns back to face forward, noting where Elza's indicated and heading that way.

At least they're not running, right? Just a brisk, determined walk. But oh hey, breaking from the crowd is cause for relief. Nesso stops and slumps back against the wall of the alley.] Ha... there. Think this is a safe distance?

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//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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