It's probably not the most welcoming of areas. It seems to be a funhouse of sorts, with many, many doors and buildings leading to other places. The buildings are titled things like "Your Health and You" and "CERES Dating Simulator", and they all lead to...well, strange new experiences.
Or maybe not so new after all, for some people.
It looks like this is a collaboration of previous ViViD levels -- CERES' Greatest Hits, if you will, and someone just cobbled them all together willy-nilly without any rhyme or reason. Seriously, it's shoddy work.
But even so, you can't leave, so... have fun?
 Hee hee hee. Welcome to CERES' Greatest Hits. Ho ho ho. Please enjoy the attractions.
Hee hee hee. Welcome to CERES' Greatest Hits. Ho ho ho. Please enjoy the attractions.
Hee hee hee. Welcome to CERES' Greatest Hits...
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PHASE I [ ?? ?? ] Let the games begin! You open the first door and find yourself in a giant forest with snow-covered trees, and in your path to reach the exit, there appears your first threat. They look cute and sweet -innocent little elves that smile and blush in your direction. They barely reach up to your chest and look up at you with big, glassy eyes as they promise to help you along your way. Little hands will grab yours, tugging you along. That is, until you're far enough along that you're deep in the midst of the forest where they decide to chip at a lake of frozen ice and chuck you inside.
They will then criticize your clothes, call you a piece of reindeer shit, tell you your ass is too fat then call your mother a whore. Because that's just how they roll. Here's your chance to fight back, get vengeance, and force the elves to tell you how to get out of this hell hole. Those who manage to beat them into submission will be pointed in the right direction. Those who don't, have fun drowning in icy water!
PHASE II [ ???? ] Another door opened, another weird shitty level to play! You're in a vet's office, it looks like, and that's never fun.
You go to speak with the vet, hopefully to find a way out of this place, and before you know it there's talk of "just to be safe" and "you never know what someone with an attitude like that will do" -- which, what? All of a sudden Dr. T-Bone and his receptionist are shoving you into a cone of shame. How embarrassing! And no matter what you do, it just won't come off.
In fact, if nothing else, it seems magnetically attracted to the walls and anyone else wearing one. If one of those poor fools happen to be within a ten foot radius of you, prepare yourselves for a massive collision. What a pain, right? It seems like the cones won't come off until you (and your magnetic partner) get out of this confounded level. If only you could find the exit.
PHASE III [ ???? ] The next door opens, and there is a chicken flying at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
You're stuck, so welcome to this new shoddy level.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
The door out of here has to be somewhere, right?
PHASE IV [ ???? ] When you open the door, you're immediately in a bad situation. At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster (why were you on a date with a monster???), candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
At least if you get out of the cage, the exit is right there in front of you. That's nice.
BONUS [ ???? ] So you don't open any of the doors or check out any of the attractions in this place. You're too smart for dastardly CERES! Never mind that this game looks like it was made ages ago and still is mostly unfinished. Either way, you're just bumming around the theme park, and that's fine -- just look out for the clown bots. They're not very nice, and if they catch you loitering, well... they'll fling you into the first possible attraction they can.
Or, even worse, they'll drag you off to stick you into clown clothing and clown make-up, complete with squeaky red nose.
How embarrassing.
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saga | tlj/dreamfall.
iii
[ Well, as long as they're in a videogame, they might as well introduce Ray with his obligatory theme song. The character and song go hand in hand, really.
The stick that Saga threw ended up bouncing off the defense attorney's nose, though he looks more amused than disgruntled. ]
Right in the honker. You know Uncle Ray needs this trustworthy face to do his job, right? [ Which part of it is trustworthy?? ] You could say it's my greatest asset!
no subject
She peers around, ignoring him for the moment. ]
Is that diegetic?
no subject
Good luck getting him to take something seriously, though. ]
Uncle Ray prefers to call it "mood music". [ Said with actual air quotes, WHY?? ] Setting the scene for our first encounter in this romantic adventure!
no subject
[ She stares at him, full of judgment. And she's had quite a long time to perfect that very useful judging stare! ]
I don't know what kind of creeptastic world of incest you come from, but I don't have romantic adventures with uncles.
no subject
It was actually just Europe. [ ???????? ]
Something tells Uncle Ray we're a long way from there though. [ He looks around, taking in the setting. ] It's not even America or Japan, then again I've been gone for so long that it's getting hard to tell the difference between the two.
no subject
Flatly: ] One of them is America. The other one is Japan. One has intelligent gun laws and is where Godzilla likes to go. The other has the Mall of America.
[ Like, seriously, dude. She gestures to the cow. ]
This is a Stark species. We're either there, or in some derivative.
Bonus+
John didn't say much as he raised a eyebrow and was already observing for weaknesses.
.. bots, hm? Wonder if i can reprogram it to something more... suitable?"
The clown bot stares him down keeping on smiling really creepy.
He waited until the bot had gotten closer, and took the time to throw something on the ground to distract it. When the clown bot got angry, John Connor got on "reprogramming" the clown bot with some tools of his own.