The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
HOW ARE YOU NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF THING BY NOW MABEL
[Perhaps she hadn't been able to see him until it was too late due to his dress sense, but he'd towered over Mabel with a stern look, a palm on the top of her head to turn the young girl toward him.]
"Seriously, if you just run around makin' threats at everyone, you're gonna get yourself in big trouble."
[Said the hypocrite.]
IT'S SCARY WITHOUT HER BROTHER AROUND!
Well, of course not! This grappling hook is a very important weapon and should only be used under extreme emergencies!
[She said before looking around the pictures before her]
....Which is probably right about now.
big bro mode activate
His lower lip jutted in an ill-tempered pout as his hand produced a switchblade and opened it expertly without so much as glancing away from Mabel. He pulled towards the left of the haul with his chin.]
"You take these ones, and I'll get the bastards over there. Go for the eyes."
Go go Narancia!
Uh...you sure about that? I mean, what about you? Don't you gotta protect yourself too?
[Not that her grappling hook could do much but at least it was still something! But as the hands were getting closer toward Narancia, she wasted no time pushing him forward]
Whoa, look out!
no subject
"Just go on an' take it, I promise it's fi--"
[He'd seen the arms before she had, and focused in only to be toppled by the girl he'd let out of his sight. His knife toppled to the ground behind him as he rubbed at his sore bottom. His free hand shoved the utensil her way.]
"--'tte... That hurt, you little brat! Maybe use some'a that energy on the paintings instead!"
[Mostly, he was just embarrassed he was shoved over by a little girl. He was a gang banger, damn it!]
no subject
Relax, I totally got this! I've been f-fighting against these ghost thingies ever since I got to Gravity Falls, I so got this!
[Nevermind that despite it being a game, there was a hint of fear in her voice. After all, now that she was on her own, she could she do?]
And you know what I'd say? I'd say we...! [With that, she immediately placed said knife upward and...!] Make a run for it!
no subject
Narancia sighed at himself, made his way to his feet and grabbed his knife from Mabel. A gentle toss traded it to his free hand, allowing him to take Mabel's and give her a tug.]
"Hey, you shitty assholes! I got a way to really fuck you up! Come at me!"
[Full tilt down the hallway, Narancia slashed at any arms that snaked into his field of view, keeping Mabel as low to the ground as he could with only an arm to steer her. Out of reach. His wild yelling and potty mouth served to divert attention from her, but yet he'd managed to forget that this sort of language was probably below her.]
no subject
As much as I'm grateful to you helping me out, you do know I'm only 13 right?!
[Granted, this probably wasn't the time to be shouting at the top of her lungs but...! It still needed to be said! As she watched him slash his way through all the arms, she couldn't help but be impressed!]
Oh! Go for the one to your right! It's about to grab you!
[Although, if things should get serious, she had her grappling hook ready to go! Looking around, she made sure to aim it toward the hallway at the end. As much as he was being super awesome at fighting, they really needed to get out of here!]
no subject
As much as I'm grateful to you helping me out, you do know I'm only 13 right?!
[Granted, this probably wasn't the time to be shouting at the top of her lungs but...! It still needed to be said! As she watched him slash his way through all the arms, she couldn't help but be impressed!]
Oh! Go for the one to your right! It's about to grab you!
[Although, if things should get serious, she had her grappling hook ready to go!] But you know, if you need help, I always got something to make sure you get to the next level...!
no subject
"Leave it to me! These bas--"
[As if to protect Mabel's ears, a censoring appendage flew across his cheeks, knocking saliva from his unprepared lips.]
"Hey, that really fuc--"
["--king hurt!", he'd tried to say, only as the other arm blew across his features in the opposite direction. He sliced upwards, pulling their linked hands to rub at his cheeks a moment as their pace slowed.]
"These... buttholes are nothin'."
no subject
But what could she do? While she could try and have them get away, it was clear that Narancia just didn't want to. However...]
Then take that, you stupid jerks! Who said that you can even do that to him anyway?!
[With that, she simply threw a vase at the hands coming straight toward him! She could always try and use a small lamp table but...
Oh who are we kidding, of course she'll try and swing a coffee table at the arms!]