The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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no subject
...This is the first floor, right? There's no elevator access to the higher floors in this mansion, so I couldn't have left the first floor of my own power. In other words, if I was drugged, then I suppose I could have just been rolled into position.
[Mentally adds another inconvenience to Wheelchair Life to the list.]
I remember drinking a cup of tea before this happened, so that seems to be the most likely poisoning method.
no subject
[Yuna is so upset for her friend she's shaking. How could someone drug Togo...? How could someone try to set her up like this?]
I'm gonna make them apologize to you! Ten times!
[A terrifying threat.]
no subject
[Protect Yuna from the real world 2016.]
1/2
[WHOA SLOW DOWN KID]
2/2
[She can't make them apologize if she doesn't know who it is.]
no subject
The butler.
[This case is getting complicated!]
no subject
[On one hand it makes perfect sense for the butler to have served tea. On the other hand, what the fuck.]
But if he's the one who drugged you...that would mean...wait, what does that mean? It seems a little weird to frame someone for killing yourself, doesn't it?
no subject
1 is unlikely, since I'd think he'd prepare the tea himself. 3 would put us back at square one, but I can't think of how else I could have been knocked out without feeling anything.
no subject
[Yuna's pretty sure she's onto something, but Togo is definitely the smarter of the two, so it's always best to check her answers.
She's definitely stealing this plot for their next hero play, though.]
no subject
[ Hang on. They just ran out of there, didn't they? How carefully did either of them look...? ]
...hey, Yuna. Are you sure that the butler was dead?
no subject
[Because 1. Togo was more important, and 2. DEAD BODY.]
You think he's still alive?
[the butler did it after all. somewhere willard h. wright is weeping]
no subject
[Togo has honestly always wanted to play the ace detective who turns the case on its head, so it's gonna suck if this theory is wrong.]
no subject
[THIS IS ALMOST WORSE THAN A MURDER?? SHE WAS GONNA AVENGE YOU, BRO. SHE'S BEEN BETRAYED.]
Togo, why would he do something like that?!
[She must know. Because Yuna sure doesn't.]
no subject
The most obvious answer would be... in order to frame me for murder without killing anyone.
no subject
[NO...YUNA...HE STILL (PROBABLY) DRUGGED HER????]
no subject
no subject
But why would he want to frame you? You're always so nice! You haven't done anything to deserve something like that - no one deserves something like that!
no subject
Well, before we go making any further theories, we should go check on the body again.
no subject
...Okay. If we find him again, I'll protect you this time.
no subject
[Against her first instincts, they're heading back to the scene of the crime. What will they find? A corpse? The killer lying in wait???
Nope, there's nothing. Where the body was, there's just a faint trail of blood leading back out of the room.]
...This is getting more and more complicated. [She really wishes she had a pipe and a Sherlock Holmes hat right now.]
no subject
[She's glad no one's dead, but jesus god please make it stop.]
We should probably get out of here before he comes back.
no subject
[Dramatic pause.]
...Theory 5: I have no idea what's going on.
no subject
She heads back out of the room, though as soon as she's crossed the threshold, she moves to stand in front of Togo, rather than behind her.
If they can't figure it out, there's still one thing they can do.]
H...Hey! Mr. Butler!
[yuna no]
If you're there, you owe Togo an apology! So...if you apologize right now, we'll forgive you! Okay?!
[Her hands are shaking.]
no subject
Yuna, this is dangerous. We should just lie low until it all blows over.
no subject
[Plus, drawing attention to herself means there's less of a chance he'll go after Togo. Right?]
(no subject)