The desert. It's hot. It's sandy. It's filled with creepy monsters and things. But mostly it's hot and sandy and there's a whole lot of nothing. You appear and wonder "why am I here? What is there to do here? Is that a cow skull? Do cows live out here in this desert? How can cows live in the desert? Maybe it's a horse?" These are all very complicated questions with equally complicated answers but there's no one to provide them no matter where you look. Instead, you're given the option of walking. Forwards, backwards, to your right, to your left, any direction is yours to take. Try not to die from dehydration or something, that would be a sad ViViD death and the cow-horse skull might start laughing at you. I mean, you'll just start over from the beginning anyway but still.
Welcome to ViViD's new line of Vacation Spotlights: Desert Edition.
Moo-Neigh.
 One wish, that's all you get.
Make it snappy, I don't have all day.
Actually, I have eternity but I just don't want to spend it with you.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] So.
There's sand.
In fact, there's so much sand that there's probably already sand in your shoes and your shorts and all sorts of other places that aren't fun to have sand in. It stretches for miles and miles, in large dunes and deep dips, and above it all there are three suns that beat down upon everyone's backs. Why three? Because why not, that's why. Enjoy the sunshine and try not to get sunburnt.
You've got a long ways to travel before you find anything but sand, but thankfully you're not alone -- there are a bunch of unfortunate stragglers who are out with you, so it's time to make some friends as you travel. You've got pleeeeenty of time. No water though. Or food. Or... anything but human interaction.
Thankfully, it's only a matter of time before you stumble across your hot new ride. Thankfully, it seats two, so you and your new friend can enjoy a cramped road trip. You, this relative stranger, and the great... sandy... unknown! Good luck!
PHASE II [ 645 ] If you prefer to not take your ride, you're going to wish that you did soon enough. Every desert level has to have desert monsters, after all. You're walking through the sand, trying to make it to somewhere that isn't sand, and then suddenly, the sand worms appear.
Or.
Well.
They try.
Unfortunately, they're little more than 5 or 6 inches tall apiece, and they'll mostly try to eat your shoes and socks. How scary.
Alternatively, if you have actually taken that sweet ride of yours on an adventure through the desert, you're going to hit something at one point. It makes a rather pitiful scream and there's a small bump underneath your tire before your car comes to a stop. You just ran over a sand worm.
Anyone who is intrepid enough to kill a sand worm though will find one interesting thing about them. They're filled with water, and you are very, very thirsty. Ew.
PHASE III [ 1000 ] It sure is hot.
And unless you've devoured one of those poor, sad, screaming sand worms, there's no water to be found. It feels as though you've been wandering in circles for ages, so perhaps it's really no surprise that the heat starts to get to you. First come the headaches, and the thirst. Then the dizziness and vertigo.
And finally, the mirages.
What you see is a waterfall cascading into a crystal pool, beautiful and pristine and painfully cool. It's just begging for you to come enjoy it, and -- wait, there's one more thing. Standing in front of that pool is either someone you care about immensely or someone you hate immensely.
And either way, the things they say or do will be the same. First they reach for you, beckoning, and they they start to detail all of the things they'd like to do to you. NSFW, SFW, loving or cruel or so many things in between, all that's honestly consistent is that it's pretty shocking.
Oh, and awkwardly, it seems as though anyone with you can see and hear that hallucination too. That's embarrassing.
PHASE IV [ 1215 ] Eventually, though, you'll find your destination. Or... at least, it seems like it should be the destination. The tiny temple is at least a change from the endless sand, and in the middle of it, there's a lamp. That sure looks familiar.
If you rub the lamp, of course, you'll release the genie, and he'll glance at you, and inspect his fingernails as though you're hardly worth his time, and offer you one, single wish.
As soon as you make it, well... You'll get the opposite of what you wish for with a sudden apology note in your hand. The card will read "Sorry, this level isn't entirely finished yet - Mosley" before immediately disappearing. Your wish will only apply in ViViD, of course, but hopefully you didn't wish for anything too crazy, or you might have made the level Much Harder for everyone around you.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] One second you're walking along the desert sand, enjoying the eternally same view, and the next there's a sudden pinch on your ankle, and a scorpion monster scuttles away quickly. Whoops, looks like you've been stung.
But it's not poison, it would seem. Aside from feeling a little odd and having a mild fever, you're fine.
More importantly, you've now found yourself in possession of some... new powers (a la Spider-man), and they're...
Well, they're useless.
Maybe you can summon water now, but... only sulfur water. Perhaps you can now make pretty light shows and that's about all. You can see the future but only the next three seconds. The possibilities are endless, but what's for certain is that they're all completely and utterly useless to you.
What the fuck, ViViD.
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WELL THERE ARENT ANY OTHER COMPETITORS CURRENTLY
But look, standing in the snow just adds to their charm, clearly. Snow is much better scenery than sand! Who likes sand, anyway? Chumps, that's who. Kashuu toes his boot through a little fluffy patch of snow, considering Nero's Many Boasts.]
It's fine if you have a lot of stuff you can do, but I only need to be good at those two things, so- [A quick flick of his hand.] -I just leave the rest to people who like being busy or whatever.
[He says, like he himself doesn't have 5000 hobbies.]
DOES THIS MEAN I CAN BE MOM!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
( you're right, the snow is better and they won't get awful sunburns. no one needs any of that while they're trying to impress people. )
Umu! There is beauty within being busy but... after such hard work, a nice bath would be grand. To relax the muscles and bones, to soak in the heat of the water that wraps around you! The only good think about being busy!
LOOK CALM DOWN
[But he'll totally accept being called beautiful too, even if he's aiming for "cute". Why is it that some people just have natural cute charms and other people like poor, poor peanut have to work so hard?? WHERE IS HIS NATURAL CUTENESS.]
Anyway - if you're saying the only good thing about being busy is being able to relax after, shouldn't you just skip the "being busy" part? Like, that sounds easier...
[He'd rather skip to a nice hot bath now, honestly. HE'S COVERED IN SAND AND MELTED SNOW AND HE'S NOT HAPPY.]
Geez. Speaking of, we should prooobably get outta here. Sticking around building snow sculptures isn't gonna do much for us.
CALL ME MOM!! WE'RE RED, YOURE TALLER!!! call me mom im smol :O smom!
( upon his next response, nero looks at him as if his words aren't familiar at all. she's heard something like that. ) It doesn't work that way, though I enjoy taking baths any time that I can. Rose petals that dance upon the water's surface..
( damn, she wouldn't mind one as well. )
Hm, would you know for where we could relax our exasperated bodies? The snow isn't the type of bath I'd like.
smom is already better than hiji
Cute totally works for me! There's no "maybe" there, see? And I totally understand and appreciate beauty! That's the whole reason why my boutique is so popular.
[PUFFING HIS CHEST OUT. He's very proud of the foot he has in the fashion world, here.
What the heck though, rose petal baths--] You some kinda rich person? [WHO EVEN DOES THAT.] We'll have to wait until we get outta here to relax, though.
OH NO *picks you up and shows you to hiji* say smom is better to him!! im going to spoil you
Do you! Then, perhaps you and I will be able to share and bask in conversations upon the subject! So do make sure to speak of these things with me! Oh, a boutique? Do fill me in, a place done all on your own?
( that's cute! now nero likes fashion so she has to hear about this. )
Umu! I just do not live a life of moderation! I indulge in many things. ( that's a good answer to his question! ) Then how do we get out of here?
LOOK no that will just end in Death...
Sure, sure! I love talking about that stuff. No one here really gets it, though, so I hardly ever have a chance! [WAVING A HAND whatever, time to just forget about those punks who don't understand fashion.]
I can show you my boutique once we get out, if you want! It always gets great reviews and we have foot traffic pretty much every hour that it's open. [So proud, this peanut.
Also that is not a good answer at all and he's just giving her A Look™, but he'll file that away... Things to ask more about later...]
Oh— For that, we gotta- [A glance around the area. GOOD QUESTION. Huh... He shuffles away from his new comrade and her perpetual snowstorm, looking around at the vast expanse of Dirt.] ...Well, usually we gotta find a portal out, but I haven't seen any yet. That's weird.
ill protect u and hiji knows i can kick his ass
Umu! Than their eye knows no beauty, humans do not understand how much benevolence has been given to them! It's already tedious to restrain myself from such a gift and yet, many are fools! Yet, we are one of the lucky few that are blessed. There are some who grow and others who are trapped within stasis, we were able to blossom! ( the sound of visiting a boutique also catches her attention, puffing up her chest happily and a wide smile on her features. ) It's a must see, I wish to lay eyes upon it! Do allow this sword to enter your establishment, I am not worn to fashion, I understand it much so!
( ok listen, she is a sword, ok. not the tkrb brand but when you play /extra, you'll understand. but maybe for nero that isn't the right thing to say to kashuu.. hmmmmmmmmmmm! ) Muu.. ( one last look at the snow that falls onto her dress, she flicks them off as she moves forward in following the uchigatana. ) A portal, I do know what you mean, normally that would return me home after my triumphs of leading my people, or team if you will!!