The desert. It's hot. It's sandy. It's filled with creepy monsters and things. But mostly it's hot and sandy and there's a whole lot of nothing. You appear and wonder "why am I here? What is there to do here? Is that a cow skull? Do cows live out here in this desert? How can cows live in the desert? Maybe it's a horse?" These are all very complicated questions with equally complicated answers but there's no one to provide them no matter where you look. Instead, you're given the option of walking. Forwards, backwards, to your right, to your left, any direction is yours to take. Try not to die from dehydration or something, that would be a sad ViViD death and the cow-horse skull might start laughing at you. I mean, you'll just start over from the beginning anyway but still.
Welcome to ViViD's new line of Vacation Spotlights: Desert Edition.
Moo-Neigh.
 One wish, that's all you get.
Make it snappy, I don't have all day.
Actually, I have eternity but I just don't want to spend it with you.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] So.
There's sand.
In fact, there's so much sand that there's probably already sand in your shoes and your shorts and all sorts of other places that aren't fun to have sand in. It stretches for miles and miles, in large dunes and deep dips, and above it all there are three suns that beat down upon everyone's backs. Why three? Because why not, that's why. Enjoy the sunshine and try not to get sunburnt.
You've got a long ways to travel before you find anything but sand, but thankfully you're not alone -- there are a bunch of unfortunate stragglers who are out with you, so it's time to make some friends as you travel. You've got pleeeeenty of time. No water though. Or food. Or... anything but human interaction.
Thankfully, it's only a matter of time before you stumble across your hot new ride. Thankfully, it seats two, so you and your new friend can enjoy a cramped road trip. You, this relative stranger, and the great... sandy... unknown! Good luck!
PHASE II [ 645 ] If you prefer to not take your ride, you're going to wish that you did soon enough. Every desert level has to have desert monsters, after all. You're walking through the sand, trying to make it to somewhere that isn't sand, and then suddenly, the sand worms appear.
Or.
Well.
They try.
Unfortunately, they're little more than 5 or 6 inches tall apiece, and they'll mostly try to eat your shoes and socks. How scary.
Alternatively, if you have actually taken that sweet ride of yours on an adventure through the desert, you're going to hit something at one point. It makes a rather pitiful scream and there's a small bump underneath your tire before your car comes to a stop. You just ran over a sand worm.
Anyone who is intrepid enough to kill a sand worm though will find one interesting thing about them. They're filled with water, and you are very, very thirsty. Ew.
PHASE III [ 1000 ] It sure is hot.
And unless you've devoured one of those poor, sad, screaming sand worms, there's no water to be found. It feels as though you've been wandering in circles for ages, so perhaps it's really no surprise that the heat starts to get to you. First come the headaches, and the thirst. Then the dizziness and vertigo.
And finally, the mirages.
What you see is a waterfall cascading into a crystal pool, beautiful and pristine and painfully cool. It's just begging for you to come enjoy it, and -- wait, there's one more thing. Standing in front of that pool is either someone you care about immensely or someone you hate immensely.
And either way, the things they say or do will be the same. First they reach for you, beckoning, and they they start to detail all of the things they'd like to do to you. NSFW, SFW, loving or cruel or so many things in between, all that's honestly consistent is that it's pretty shocking.
Oh, and awkwardly, it seems as though anyone with you can see and hear that hallucination too. That's embarrassing.
PHASE IV [ 1215 ] Eventually, though, you'll find your destination. Or... at least, it seems like it should be the destination. The tiny temple is at least a change from the endless sand, and in the middle of it, there's a lamp. That sure looks familiar.
If you rub the lamp, of course, you'll release the genie, and he'll glance at you, and inspect his fingernails as though you're hardly worth his time, and offer you one, single wish.
As soon as you make it, well... You'll get the opposite of what you wish for with a sudden apology note in your hand. The card will read "Sorry, this level isn't entirely finished yet - Mosley" before immediately disappearing. Your wish will only apply in ViViD, of course, but hopefully you didn't wish for anything too crazy, or you might have made the level Much Harder for everyone around you.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] One second you're walking along the desert sand, enjoying the eternally same view, and the next there's a sudden pinch on your ankle, and a scorpion monster scuttles away quickly. Whoops, looks like you've been stung.
But it's not poison, it would seem. Aside from feeling a little odd and having a mild fever, you're fine.
More importantly, you've now found yourself in possession of some... new powers (a la Spider-man), and they're...
Well, they're useless.
Maybe you can summon water now, but... only sulfur water. Perhaps you can now make pretty light shows and that's about all. You can see the future but only the next three seconds. The possibilities are endless, but what's for certain is that they're all completely and utterly useless to you.
What the fuck, ViViD.
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i for i'm sorry he's this way
but either way, he's not going anywhere. so in the midst of his chaotic driving, heisuke might feel a little speedbump in the middle of the sand, one that feels bumpier than a water worm.
he also might hear a little yelp.
...........you might want to check if he's ok. ]
WHY IS HE JUST AS BAD AS SANO!
Turning around in his seat to look back, it was definitely a person, and that makes this like ten times worse than just not being able to stop and running over those gross worms was? Heisuke is not here for hurting random people, so he's gonna find a way out of this car... which mostly means looking out the small plastic door, taking his foot off the pedals for a second, and managing to jump out with a small stumble minimal damage. Nice? For once this sand slowing the car down is a good thing.
So with that, it's time to check on the poor unfortunate sword. )
Hey! Heeey! You, are you alright?!
BECAUSE HE'S LIKE SANO
he plays dead, though, until heisuke steps closer... crouches down, maybe... and there! tsurumaru immediately grasps heisuke's hands between his, looking into his eyes with renewed vigor. ]
That felt really nice.
[ it's too late to speed away, heisuke... ]
Can you do it again?
THEN HE, TOO, WILL LEARN HEISUKES SCREAM!!
Huh? Felt nice? ( See the look on his face, hear the extra ????s in his tone. Heisuke's squinting at Tsurumaru like he's just grown a third head. ) Hey, that's really weird, come on. You didn't hit your head too hard, right?
grind the wheel into his spine heisuke
anyway, since it looks as if he's going to get this out of the way, he launches into his explanation immediately. ]
No, I meant it. I'm a spirit, see? Not a human. So unless you break my vessel, or something, I'm pretty sturdy.
go have a long talk with the lord tsuru
( This guy is trying to say he wants to be a masochistic broom or something, he guesses. )
Well I'm not gonna run you over again. It's not like I want to have to jump out of that thing again either, you know?
( And anyway, being asked to do that stuff is still kind of creepy? Listen, it reminds him of Yamazaki and he is not going to go through that kind of trip again. Tsuru can keep those do-m tendencies and take them to an actual do-s because Heisuke here, does not believe in this life. )
stop depriving me of my stabbies why are you like this
[ rolls over seductively, right... no, he's not rolling over seductively, but he does roll over so that he's looking up towards heisuke, blinded to death by the sun but also too lazy to move... it's not as if he'd expected him to embrace the idea of spirits, but that's some harsh resistance, geez! ]
You were driving it just fine, I don't see why you can't continue. I'm sure it has brakes, too —
[ but a few seconds in makes him realize that the sun does bother him a lot, however, so he rolls to the side yet again, neatly aligning himself in heisuke's short little shadow, and then heisuke becomes far more visible, including a familiar, light blue piece of clothing.
and like the polite sword tsurumaru is, he's just going to point a single finger up at heisuke's face, declaring — ] Wait, you're one of Hijikata's people.
STOP you have someone to give you stabbies you don't need me, the pure one,
Hijikata-san?! Hijikata-san is here?
( Listen, if there was ever anything that would cheer Heisuke up!! Mostly, anyway, but that's the first even mention of a familiar face around here, so of course he's going to have a big smile of relief on his face at it. He manages to remember just enough of his manners though, and points his thumb at his chest. This guy right here is... )
Right, I'm Heisuke Toudou, captain of the Shinsengumi's eighth division! ( He seems a little proud? But also, kinda confused. ) If you knew Hijikata-san, why'd you wait so long to say so? Aah, I don't remember him being so superstitious though. Did you try to tell him you're a spirit too?
( He can't believe his vice commander is close with Masochistic Broom Man )
wtf if you won't give stabbies at least give..... vroomies
He thought it was strange at first too, but, well... it makes more sense when there's a lot of us at once. And his two swords — his wakizashi and uchigatana — are spirits, too. So now, Hijikata just treats us like normal people. [ look, ma, no
handshonorifics!he thinks they also sleep like normal people. most of them do, actually! like mutsu and the half of kashuu that isn't awoken by nightmares. but maybe that's not enough proof, so tsurumaru elaborates, speaking a little more cautiously now, listing names he doesn't say often. ]
There's also two spirits for the swords owned by, uh... Okita Souji? And a Kotetsu that belongs to Kondo Isami.
[ is this good enough, heisuke..... ]
im confiscating your injuries youre in time out now
( He seems to think on that for a moment — it's not like tsukumogami are an entirely foreign concept, even if he didn't expect to run into one like this. Rather, after a moment, he perks up considerably. Drawing one of the swords from his side, he shows it off with a bright expression. )
What about this guy! His name's Kazusanosuke Kaneshige; if Kondo-san and Souji-kun's swords are around, then mine would be too, right?
( The poor fool looks hopeful! Please let him down gently. )
stop this i'm telling on you
Yup! My vessel isn't here right now — but I'm over a thousand years old, so treat your elders with respect, okay? [ he doesn't mean that last part at all, although heisuke doesn't seem like the type of guy to listen to the whole 'respect your elders' spiel, which is good for the both of them.
but then he sees heisuke drawing his sword, and then he's going on so eagerly, that tsurumaru almost feels bad to have to break his bubble...
so after he finished, tsurumaru just gives him this blank stare, blinking at him a couple of times — and tilts his head to the side. ]
I've never heard that name in my entire life. To be honest... I've never heard yours, either.
[ gently? that's not in his dictionary! ]