The desert. It's hot. It's sandy. It's filled with creepy monsters and things. But mostly it's hot and sandy and there's a whole lot of nothing. You appear and wonder "why am I here? What is there to do here? Is that a cow skull? Do cows live out here in this desert? How can cows live in the desert? Maybe it's a horse?" These are all very complicated questions with equally complicated answers but there's no one to provide them no matter where you look. Instead, you're given the option of walking. Forwards, backwards, to your right, to your left, any direction is yours to take. Try not to die from dehydration or something, that would be a sad ViViD death and the cow-horse skull might start laughing at you. I mean, you'll just start over from the beginning anyway but still.
Welcome to ViViD's new line of Vacation Spotlights: Desert Edition.
Moo-Neigh.
 One wish, that's all you get.
Make it snappy, I don't have all day.
Actually, I have eternity but I just don't want to spend it with you.
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PHASE I [ 6 00 ] So.
There's sand.
In fact, there's so much sand that there's probably already sand in your shoes and your shorts and all sorts of other places that aren't fun to have sand in. It stretches for miles and miles, in large dunes and deep dips, and above it all there are three suns that beat down upon everyone's backs. Why three? Because why not, that's why. Enjoy the sunshine and try not to get sunburnt.
You've got a long ways to travel before you find anything but sand, but thankfully you're not alone -- there are a bunch of unfortunate stragglers who are out with you, so it's time to make some friends as you travel. You've got pleeeeenty of time. No water though. Or food. Or... anything but human interaction.
Thankfully, it's only a matter of time before you stumble across your hot new ride. Thankfully, it seats two, so you and your new friend can enjoy a cramped road trip. You, this relative stranger, and the great... sandy... unknown! Good luck!
PHASE II [ 645 ] If you prefer to not take your ride, you're going to wish that you did soon enough. Every desert level has to have desert monsters, after all. You're walking through the sand, trying to make it to somewhere that isn't sand, and then suddenly, the sand worms appear.
Or.
Well.
They try.
Unfortunately, they're little more than 5 or 6 inches tall apiece, and they'll mostly try to eat your shoes and socks. How scary.
Alternatively, if you have actually taken that sweet ride of yours on an adventure through the desert, you're going to hit something at one point. It makes a rather pitiful scream and there's a small bump underneath your tire before your car comes to a stop. You just ran over a sand worm.
Anyone who is intrepid enough to kill a sand worm though will find one interesting thing about them. They're filled with water, and you are very, very thirsty. Ew.
PHASE III [ 1000 ] It sure is hot.
And unless you've devoured one of those poor, sad, screaming sand worms, there's no water to be found. It feels as though you've been wandering in circles for ages, so perhaps it's really no surprise that the heat starts to get to you. First come the headaches, and the thirst. Then the dizziness and vertigo.
And finally, the mirages.
What you see is a waterfall cascading into a crystal pool, beautiful and pristine and painfully cool. It's just begging for you to come enjoy it, and -- wait, there's one more thing. Standing in front of that pool is either someone you care about immensely or someone you hate immensely.
And either way, the things they say or do will be the same. First they reach for you, beckoning, and they they start to detail all of the things they'd like to do to you. NSFW, SFW, loving or cruel or so many things in between, all that's honestly consistent is that it's pretty shocking.
Oh, and awkwardly, it seems as though anyone with you can see and hear that hallucination too. That's embarrassing.
PHASE IV [ 1215 ] Eventually, though, you'll find your destination. Or... at least, it seems like it should be the destination. The tiny temple is at least a change from the endless sand, and in the middle of it, there's a lamp. That sure looks familiar.
If you rub the lamp, of course, you'll release the genie, and he'll glance at you, and inspect his fingernails as though you're hardly worth his time, and offer you one, single wish.
As soon as you make it, well... You'll get the opposite of what you wish for with a sudden apology note in your hand. The card will read "Sorry, this level isn't entirely finished yet - Mosley" before immediately disappearing. Your wish will only apply in ViViD, of course, but hopefully you didn't wish for anything too crazy, or you might have made the level Much Harder for everyone around you.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] One second you're walking along the desert sand, enjoying the eternally same view, and the next there's a sudden pinch on your ankle, and a scorpion monster scuttles away quickly. Whoops, looks like you've been stung.
But it's not poison, it would seem. Aside from feeling a little odd and having a mild fever, you're fine.
More importantly, you've now found yourself in possession of some... new powers (a la Spider-man), and they're...
Well, they're useless.
Maybe you can summon water now, but... only sulfur water. Perhaps you can now make pretty light shows and that's about all. You can see the future but only the next three seconds. The possibilities are endless, but what's for certain is that they're all completely and utterly useless to you.
What the fuck, ViViD.
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you and squee are such masochists...
Despite the company though, he can feel chills down his own spine as more images continue to torment him. If the effects of lyrium withdrawal weren't enough, this place throws shit like this at him too. How fun. ]
I can't say anyone missed this. [ Considering what was left of the Templars in Kirkwall followed him after Meredith's ... crazy outburst, he can say that with almost certainty. If there had been anyone that agreed with her, they were keeping well hidden. (Though that is horribly doubtful... just look at this bitch jesus).
She isn't moving to attack though, simply saying more words like that ones before, telling him--them--that they ruined the peace. Cullen feels a headache coming on from more demons from his past coming back, hoping that there isn't more to it. Still, he keeps his sword drawn, aimed at Meredith's image. ]
This should have ended long ago.
yes. yes we are.... sry cullen
It did. Long, long time ago. She's just a ghost.
[ Not... really. But that's the easiest way to explain it without a whole big spiel. Which normally he'd just love... but the sand's making his throat really dry. Better told over a good mug of ale and better company than tumbleweeds and grubs. ]
Oh. Speaking of a long time ago—congrats.
it's cool homie... at least it's sharing the pain together u//u
Letting Meredith get this far was one of them.
And while the lack of explanation is fine, he does need to know if they have to get rid of it, or if it'll just... go away on its own. ]
A memory or something else? [ No, wait-- that really isn't as important as: ] Do we need to face it?
[ Though it's after that he gets the confusion of trying to remember what he might be being congratulated on. ]
For? [ Varric, for how much you love telling tales there isn't much going on here. Are you really getting that old that the lack of water is keeping you down? smh ]
i'm just glad that my dream of getting cullen naked via wicked grace can finally come true... u///u
Getting better looking in your old age. Good job on that one.
[ Waving his head toward the mirage Meredith, he shakes his head, ] As for that little problem... probably not. She's not attacking us, and if you notice, she keeps saying the same things over and over. Yeah, we get it.
[ Hand back on his hip, he shrugs his shoulder. ]
So... yeah. A memory. That sounds like it works.
sweats profusely... do you even have the cards here?!?!?!?
Still, what are you supposed to say something like that? For a moment it looks like he's deliberating between different things at the same time, though it's more to avoid replying to that right away. ]
T-that's... [ A beat, then softer: ] Not really important here. [ What is important, however, is: ] We need to find the others before it's too late.
[ At least then he's sliding his sword back into place, stepping towards the mirage by only one step. He points out in that direction, glancing back. ]
If we keep heading forward, there might be something up ahead.
[ So yes, screw you, fake Meredith. ]
don't u worry about that.... don't u worry at all
Others? Well, Varric doesn't outright question who Cullen considers to be 'the others' right now—he follows his point, pursing his lips and then shrugging his shoulders. ]
More wandering aimlessly through the desert? Sounds fantastic.
[ Hear that? That's thick, thick sarcasm. But he knows that there's nothing else they can really do at this point. ViViD's not gonna end until they find an exit or... some other shit happens. So far, that's seemed like the way things have gone. ]
How much you wanna bet it'll be something we don't wanna find?
s w e a t s
Though honestly, to him it could probably mean a number of things, couldn't it? This is the problem when you've known someone on and off for quite a while. He doesn't know that this is how ViViD works, but it's how life seems to keep turning out. Nothing goes right until everything goes completely tits up, let's be real here. ]
I think that's a bet I'll probably lose. [ In other words, his pessimism on this is just as strong. Fun times lie ahead, surely. ] But standing around won't get us anywhere.
[ Which is his lead to start marching on across the sand and through the heat, whether Varric really wants it or not. Hope you're up for a long awful trek homie. ]
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And let's make mention that those aren't just any old tits—nope, their version of that phrase is only accurate in the scenario in which those are the fine, flaming tits of the Holy Andraste herself. Because no other tits are good enough to really emphasize how shitty their lives seem to end up getting.
Also: yes. Curly's gonna be an interesting case on that one. ]
You're right, you're right. I'd rather keep moving on than stay here and look at this [ he gestures to the image of Meredith ] all day, anyway.
[ Hoisting Bianca along with him, he makes to follow Cullen, an eyebrow raised. ]
So. Interesting day, huh.
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But of course they're a reference to the one and only Andraste's tits. Considering how they've ended up here of all places after everything that's happened. ]
Just when I thought that... [ Only he doesn't finish his sentence, sighing out instead as a hand moves to his temple. He's trying to think about how to get out of this mess, of what it might mean. Now might be a nice time for Varric to fill him in, only that doesn't seem to be happening either. Thanks, bro.
Wasn't Haven being destroyed enough...? The world just loves to throw more and more challenges at you when you're already down -- of course he doesn't know Varric isn't from that time. Appearances differing and all, it isn't that much of a difference to linger on yet.
He's had a lot more to worry about recently, after all. Gosh. ]
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... It couldn't get worse?
[ Even though he doesn't need to fill that in he does, mostly because, hah, don't we all know that feeling? ]
It always gets worse. We should have learned that by now.
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Though I suppose you're right. [ Way to make him feel worse. ] I probably hoped for too much, even if it was a short break.
[ He reaches up then to rub the back of his neck, starting to feel how much of a bad idea his armor is in this weather too. It's like he's baking under all this. ]
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Of course, he notices the way Cullen rubs at his neck, putting two and two together mostly because of the thought of: wow, sure wouldn't want to be wearing that right now. ]
Why don't you take some of that off?
[ He knows, he knows. Heathen thinking. A warrior taking off some armor? But... attackers!! Bleh. ]
You don't really need it here.
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He looks over at the suggestion, looking half up to where the three suns are blaring down on them. ] I'm not really sure it will make that much of a difference.
[ It might stop his skin feeling like it's being burned though, that's true. If anything, he could stop to pull off the metal parts. Nothing here so far has proven to be overly dangerous, but there is that nagging thought that something could occur. ] Either way it seems as though I'll end up burning from this heat.
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[ That metal has got to be hot to the touch. No way he's gonna be touching that, thanks. He'd only pry flaming hot armor off of Hawke sry. ]
Not very useful if you're fried too quickly.
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It should keep it semi-safe, at least. ]
Neither of us are going to last if we don't find shelter or water.