ioculus | //TESTDRIVE12.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE12.EXE

//testdrive12.EXE

Out with the old, in with the new as they say, and this ViViD level is no different. Ever progressive and ever mindful, CERES has decided in their war against the evil carbon footprint to give citizens both new and old a lesson in healthy living. To show this, they've created a level all about... recycling, or as close to recycling as a company like CERES can get. (Which isn't very close at all, honestly.)

This, of course, means that when you're dumped in to today's ViViD level, the first thing that will hit you is the stench. It's vile and rancid and the type of stench that makes a person want to give up smelling altogether, and when you finally open your eyes, you'll see why. There's trash everywhere. The buildings are decrepit and crumbling, the cars are broken down and rusted, and overall, it looks like the apocalypse rolled right on through. Which is weird because this is definitely not a post-apocalyptic game. Yet wandering around this pathetic excuse for a ViViD level will just reveal more of the same -- it's a total wasteland.

And if you look up, you will see a billboard.

RECYCLING AND YOU: HOW NOT TO BE A DIRTY WASTE OF SPACE

You'll only have a moment to be offended by the sign before, amongst the piles of trash and rubble, there's another, smaller pile of trash and rubble. The only difference is this one can talk.

Welcome to The Dumpster Dive, my cool cats and sweet kittens. A brand new ViViD level, created and innovated to you by CERES's very creative and innovative technicians. We're all here to help you learn to Reuse, Reduce and Recycle, givin' you kids some tools to help you lessen your impact on the planet. After all, we're all here together on this great planet of Tellus. Wouldn't want to ruin it, right? Ha ha!

Happy Trash Day to Cerealians one and all!

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 600 ] So, you're here.

You're probably sitting in a pile of trash because, well, everywhere is a pile of trash. You're in a landscape of trashiness and there's no escape. Your only option is to give in to the sweet, sweet pull of the garbage. The buildings are crumbling, the sidewalks are a mess of bottles (but no bottle caps), rubble, and empty chip bags, and you're stuck in this... trash. This garbage. This hellhole.

Wasn't recycling supposed to be clean?

It probably takes a rat skittering over your foot to get you going but like any good game, the protagonist needs to move. If you're going to find out anything in this trash heap, you'll need to explore a bit. See if you can find someone else! Or something else. Maybe someone more experienced with ViViD can help you figure out how to log out. Even if logging out doesn't seem to be working right now. You should be careful too because one wrong step might cause the pile of trash you're standing on give way and send you into the sewers below.

Which means there are rats, there are bugs, the ground is unsteady and... yep. It's starting to rain.

Good luck.

PHASE II

[ 800 ] And then come the... trash drones.

They zero in on any living thing in this ViViD level -- if you’re moving, if you’re breathing, if you have some sort of a pulse, they’ll be there. And they’ll grab you and take you away. No matter how many you shoot down, more and more and more will come, never stopping until you're swarmed completely by them. They have to get you! You're garbage, you're garbage, you're garbage! You're garbage!

And so, you're snatched up.

Don’t worry, though. After a short flight (wave hello to your fellow drone-napped neighbor!), you'll arrive at three huge trash chutes with three equally huge signs above them. GARBAGE, RECYCLING, and COMPOST hang above the chutes and the drones pause just momentarily before announcing one of these options in a robotic voice. You've been sorted and without any preamble, the drone will dump you in whichever one it decides.

Hopefully you don’t end up in the compost. Gross.

Of course, once you down there, there's plenty to poke around in (or not much if you're still not into the whole trash thing). It's piles and piles and piles of trash as far as the eye can see! Again! If you're especially clever, you may be able to use the trash to build a way out of the chute. The very, very long chute. Maybe there's someone around that can help you? And better do so quick, who knows what CERES has deemed to be "recycling" this time.

PHASE III

[ 1125 ] CERES's standards continue to shine on again, because after some time, those chutes will finally start working. So if you've been separated from a friend through any of this ordeal, don't worry about it. You're all gonna end up in the same place anyway.

Which is the incinerator, of course! (Wait, that’s not how recycling works.)

The ground beneath you shifts, enough to knock over whatever flimsy excuse for an escape plan you have, and suddenly all of the trash, compost or recycling will be dumped down into an underground furnace -- along with everyone stuck there, of course. Bit by bit, everything moves ever closer towards that red hot furnace and it’s clear that everything's going to be dumped straight into the fire and burned. Say your farewells. Make nice with your neighbor. Finalize your will because --

Oh. It stopped.

Looks like it jammed.

It doesn't remain jammed for long because CERES is, if anything, highly efficient. So it starts up again. But then stops again. And then starts again. And then stops again. This may be a glitch in the level, actually.

So, you're still getting ever closer to fiery death, but... slowly. Very slowly. In fact, you could probably walk away from said fiery death faster than you're going towards it. It's like they can't even program a near death experience right!

PHASE IV

[ 1125 ] Maybe you avoided the incinerator. Maybe you ended up in a different part of the level altogether. Maybe you just got lost. Either way, now you’re stuck with the age-old hobby of enthusiasts and the exceptionally desperate alike.

Dumpster diving.

And CERES wouldn't send you down there without an incentive, you know. If you look, it seems like there might be something valuable, something incredibly important and just for you. A shiny item that you’ve always wanted right from home and it’s right there in your grasp, something precious that you could never get in Cerealia. How it came to be there, nestled between an empty carton of eggs and a half-eaten cheeseburger, no one knows, but you'll be filled with the inescapable, all-consuming urge to go get it. Just jump right into that dumpster and get it.

The more you resist the urge, the more it'll hurt. (As in, physically hurt actually. The feeling will be comparable to your fingernails slowly being plucked out.)

This is ViViD though and the moment you hit the trash, the spell breaks. You'll see that your most precious thing, whatever it was, was never actually there. Instead, you seem to have actually grabbed something else and whatever it is, you can't let go of it. Be it an empty bottle of bacon soda or a bicycle tire with a giant hole in it, it's attached to your hand now and no matter what you do, you can't get it off.

Hopefully whatever you grabbed wasn't too big because it looks like you're not getting rid of it. Not till you beat the level.

BONUS

[ why o'clock ] The odd thing about being stuck in a trash wasteland is that you can go for ages without seeing another person. Ages. Of course, CERES doesn't like that very much since ViViD games should be co-operative! Player with player! Player against player! Players who shouldn't be playing at all. That's the type of play CERES supports.

Which means the longer you go without seeing another person, the more you might feel an itch. It gets under your skin, making you feel dizzier and dizzier, and shorter and shorter of breath until -- you pass out. Vision going dark, breathing cutting out, and down you go into the trash and whatever this ViViD level has planned next.

It won't take long. You'll wake up feeling slightly confined and there will be a moving body next to you. It seems as if you've finally, finally found someone -- and they're really, really close. In fact, maybe a little too close? When you open your eyes, you'll see that the two of you may be bound together in a way that might be familiar to some.

But instead of a shirt, it's just a garbage bag. A really, really strong garbage bag that can't be broken out of no matter how strong you happen to be. No laser eyes, no super powers, nothing will separate you from this person other than, well, getting along.

There really is only one question you have to ask yourself now. Just one.

What the hell does this have to do with recycling?

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's twelfth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wait, did she call me Jeane-- THREE!!! Go, go, go--!!

[ He's doing it! He's doing the thing! Slowly keeping up with her, trying to stay in sync as they're standing up. Please no more headbutts, pleeeease!! ]

[ She most absolutely did.

And they are most absolutely succeeding! Standing slowly and, if not with purpose, like reasonably healthy human adults! ]

Wow. [ Grinning and flushed and more pleased than she perhaps ought to be. ] We did it. Aren't you glad you eventually agreed to surrender yourself to me?

Hey. How do you feel about walking out of here? We could do that now, I bet. We have got to get these strange things off of us. Maybe there's some trick to it...?

[ Hey, weird choice of words aside, he's pretty excited about this, too! ]

Yeah! Walking! We can do this, woo!! Oh, man, it feels so good to stand again. I thought my legs were gonna fall aslee-- [ He balls his free fist and knocks on his right leg to get some feeling, but when he knocks on his left one and realizes there's no sensation whatsoever? Yeah, that wasn't his leg. He immediately pulls back his arm and begins walking for the both of them. ]--eeeah, t-that wasn't, actually, I didn't-- I mean I did realize it, but it was just as I did it I was like "Wow, this is not my leg I'm tapping with my knuckles", and then another voice in my head, the one on a deeper level/layer said "Jaune you're an idiot", and you know what? I am! Look at me, I'm trapped in a garbage sack with someone I never met! I smell like garbage! I'm sorry, I know, you don't have to pretend that I don't! Yeah, I'll say it out loud, I'm with a girl and I smell like trash! And another thing-- what the heck does any of this have to do with recycling?! I'm not the most eco-friendly guy, I'll admit, but... come on!

[ Is he complaining to her or just the world at this point? ]

[ Oh gosh. He's been feeling all of this and until this point the greatest she's done for him is chastise. Whether it's meant as venting or in search of advice, Rapunzel listens to the rant and nods and falls mostly silent. Garbage sack in-fucking-deed. ]

I hear that voice. [ Is that a glance at definitely-not-his leg? No way! It's not like he was just touching it after all. ] Only - actually? I think mine goes a little like, "Hey, Rapunzel, this is your conscience here. Just stopping by to let you know that, uh, nobody appreciates the tough girl front! That's all, thanks!" -- And that's, like, thanks from the universe for not acting like I'm about to turn eighteen.

...But for what it's worth, I can hardly smell you at all when everything else smells so terrible. Which it definitely does, I won't lie.

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, right?

[ Tough-girl front... that sure resonates with Jaune. Well, not the girl part of it. The part about trying to be braver or stronger than he really is, all for the sake of being a good leader. Oh man, and she's so nice about the smell, too! But more importantly-- ]

... Your name is "Rapunzel"? [ What an unusual name. ]

Ye...ah. [ A little shy, that. When spoken aloud, her name does sound quite a bit stranger than his ~~which really rolls off a lady's tongue!!~~ ] But I could easily get used to being called "Tress Girl". Don't rule it out just yet.

[ pause ]

What's that little voice saying to you now?

[ ~~omg he must never know about his name~~ Jaune pauses to think about her question, smiling a little. ]

Hmm. I dunno... I think it's saying something about the voice in your head, how it's not always necessarily right? Heh, wonder what that's all about.

... And it gave me an idea!

Heh. Oh yeah? Bet it's a good one. [ Considering this surprising kindness... her grin widens. She relaxes a little more, turning her body towards him. ] I always listen to the advice of my super-suspicious inner critic.

Right now, for example? Right now she thinks your mind's voice may be wrong this time too. Guess she doesn't think you're an idiot, Jaune.

Hah! It doesn't sound like our mind's voices get along with each other that well, do they? Must be from all that head bumping...

Anyway-- [ He also turns his body towards her, to share this great idea, only to notice that she's already facing him. Ah. Give him a sec to clear his throat: ] --err... I-I was gonna say... I got a sword. Yeah! It's pretty sharp, too, maybe it'll work?

Ah – Sorry. Do you think that would work, cutting through it? It doesn't make sense for whoever put us this way to have made it easy for us to get free. I mean. If it were me–

[ Wait. No. Better skip that subject for now. Even if this all turns out to be a dream where nothing, none of this, matters, and this man will never remember her, she'll still be able to look back and facepalm. ]

Um. Heh. Actually, you know, I think we should give it a try. Why not. There's nothing to–

Hey... why do you even have a sword? Sharp or otherwise?

Oh? You kinda need a weapon where I'm from, especially if you're training to fight monsters. Y'know, big scary creatures of darkness and all. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing with it! [ Most of the time. ]

Trained. To fight big, scary creatures of darkness.

[ ... ]

You have to show me how.

H-HUH?! You want me to show you? Not against real targets, right? It's kinda dangerous for you...

Uh, yeah! [ this is laughter of purest joy ] Yeah, why not? I think it sounds - incredible! And you're used to it, right? This should be no problem for you. Please, Jaune, I– You have no idea how much this could help me. And if you're worried about my safety, well– Heh. Trust me when I say I can take care of myself.

[ Pushing up on her toes, she delivers her version of a fearsome whisper. ]

That's a promise too.

[ He's not THAT used to it!! He's not used to any of this, from being so highly praised to the whisper that sends a chill down his spine. In fact, his shield underneath the bag suddenly expands as he accidentally presses something. Ah... he'll just... awkwardly make it collapse into sheath form again.

Man, she's making a lot of promises today... ]

I-- y-you're right... I don't know how any of this is gonna help you, but... sure, h-hahah... I'll... show you... [ GODS PLEASE DON'T LET HIM DIE THAT DAY ]

[ Oh yeah. He's also drawing his sword carefully. A lot of things could go wrong here... ]

[ haha danger what danger ]

[ Rapunzel stands transfixed, only dimly, distantly aware of their surroundings and the state of them, which is god awful). She could be on a beach in a plastic bag and it wouldn't make half the difference. This is awesome. So much better than the broken bottles from earlier that day. She gnaws on her lip. ]

Wow. Was that you I just felt? And– Hey, isn't it dangerous to carry the sword with you?

[ NOW YOU ASK THE QUESTION ]

Actually, I kinda feel safer with it than without it... [ Just don't ask him about the handgun somebody gave him here. ]

--wait, why didn't you think this would work? You were gonna say something about how you'd design this thing if it were you. It's not gonna explode or anything, right...

[ These are some suspiciously specific accusations, brah. ]

...I mean. I could probably. If I tried. I had a crossbow back home, but Mother didn't exactly approve. Uh. Mostly I just... thought it would be neat. There had to be a point where you thought to yourself you'd love to learn sword-fighting. This moment is mine.

And hey, I was right about it being neat! Right?

[ He's not entirely sure what the heck she's talking about it, but it sure is nice listening to her. The enthusiasm is kind of infectious, he can't help but nod along in agreement as he's drawn closer to her. ]

Yeah! Swords and stuff! I hear you!

[ In fact, he's so psyched up that he immediately grips Crocea Mors and thrusts it upwards through the material, the blade barely missing both their faces. ]

[ HE SUDDENLY FREEZES with the sword still pointing upwards, breaking their eye contact. ]

Wwwaaaaawwwhhhh, that-- that was real close! Holy crap! Are you okay? I'm-- I'm so sorry! Hahah... man, I... wow. This doesn't usually happen.

Huh. It's - bigger than it looks.

[ oh but it is!! ]

Uh. Heh. Yeah, I'm... I'm fine, though. Don't worry. [ As if he would. Heavens, this accelerated quickly; honestly she can't quite place her finger on the meaning of "this" within the sentence. Looking around prompts an attempt to move around. Suffice it to say Rapunzel's surprised to find separating from him a little easier than it was before. Did his sword cut through the material after all? ]

Hey, Jaune. I think you actually might have done it... Don't you feel less - constricted?

[ frysquint ] Less... constricted... oh-- oh yeah! [ Safety hazard aside, it seems the sword actually did the job! ] Yeah, you're right.

[ Wait, he shouldn't sound so surprised about that. This is his heroic moment. ]

--I mean, YEAH, of course! Didn't I tell you I was gonna get us outta here? [ He never said that. ] All in day's work, Rapunzel!

[ Either she's too dim to get it or too bright to want to. ]

N...o... You didn't say that. I'm pretty sure you said it was an accident. [ All banter aside, she's past the point of suspicion with this guy: if he wanted her dead or maimed, she would be.

Her hair, on the other hand, is an entirely separate story, and her closed fingers are unclosing, reaching up instinctively for one particular lock. ] Um. Good job, though. That was... nice! For awhile. [ OUCH

it's not meant to sound harsh but... ]

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