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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-10-31 05:58 pm
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//TESTDRIVE11.EXE

//testdrive11.EXE



The sky is blue, the birds are singing, and it is a beautiful day to be a hero. And CERES sure knows that all of you people like to be heroes! So the new ViViD level is geared towards those who clearly have nothing better to do with their time than save people and take down villainous creatures!!

Or, well, that seems to be the intent behind the game, but it's a little... unfinished...


Welcome to CERESscape! A world dedicated to the mythical! The magical! And everything in between! You, INSERT USER INFORMATION HERE, are the hero chosen to save our world from a dire threat. Will you take up the task? Or leave us all to perish! Only you can decide our fate. Good luck, hero.

//SCENARIOS.EXE


PHASE I

[ 9:00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.

Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.

The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !

Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.

But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.

PHASE II

[ 9:30 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?

The problem is, it’s going to take a while.

The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.

Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.

Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?

PHASE III

[ 12:00 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.

You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”

Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.

Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.

And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.

At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!

PHASE IV

[ 14:30 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --

A message pops up, bright red and in your face.

[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]

No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).

Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.

Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.

(It was really, really cool.)

BONUS

[ xx:xx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.

To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.

Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.

Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.

At least you look festive!


[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Eleventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

adornmental: (you're a problem)

please, souji needs his babysitter...

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-14 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
[WOW... WHY. Why is this Souji even more of a brat than the last Souji?? Kashuu looks preemptively offended, like he's just waiting for something else to be added onto that to make it even more insulting. BUT NO... Apparently he's just curious, which-- is still totally insulting, but at least understandable.

Kashuu makes a little noise of agitation regardless, smoothing out his ponytail.]


I already told you! [Kind of... if Souji were to squint.] My master's the one who summoned me. He gave me this body so I could actually like, touch stuff like a human can. [And also sleep! And eat!! And buy pretty clips for his hair.]
retorter: out people still like him (the face souji makes when he finds)

[personal profile] retorter 2015-11-14 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ squints ]

You didn't tell me that part. [ he waves a hand ] But it's a good enough explanation, I guess. [ i guess ] I might have known you as a blade, but the whole human thing is new to me.

[ so far the things he knows about this Kashuu Kiyomitsu could be counted on one hand: that he's a sword and can kill things, but thinks that other things are important too like uh... style... and looking nice??? And he likes the color red??? ]

And you said earlier that you didn't get humans... So I guess we don't know much about each other after all.

[ no, he feels like he's the one at the disadvantage here!!! but whatevs ]
adornmental: (call in the crew)

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-14 12:09 pm (UTC)(link)
["I GUESS", he says... Is it really. His explanations are never very helpful, honestly, and he's not good at describing himself either so chances are, Souji will actually have to learn things the hard and less fun way!!]

Yeah, well— [This is also probably the point where one could say something like "we have time to get to know each other", or something equally friendly that would set the conversation off in the right direction. But this is Kashuu!! And how would Kashuu be a sword of Okita Souji if some of his stilted social skills weren't passed on...!

That is to say, he's still somewhat discomforted around this Souji and also still mildly salty that he's left and come back without his memories, so he's not about to be a comfort.]


That's fine, that's fine. I've heard I'm not much different, either way. ["Hard to handle and pretty", his perpetual defining traits.] I'm the one who's behind anyway, y'know. It's not like you're the Okita from my world.

[Oh right, he forgot to mention that too, didn't he??]
retorter: (takes a step back)

[personal profile] retorter 2015-11-14 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's just as well. Souji's no shining example of friendship either, so he finds nothing wrong with the way Kashuu breezes on. Actually, wait. What was that. Souji stops in his tracks, turning around to face Kashuu fully. ]

...What's that supposed to mean?

[ what the heck kashuu you can't just slip that in out of nowhere ]
adornmental: (nope!)

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-14 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Too late!! Now all of China knows that Kashuu's not good at the conversational arts!

He may have put that out there on purpose, though, just to provoke a reaction... Which is worse?? A mystery. ANYWAY, he'll start by holding up one finger.]


So! First, this world's kinda like... kinda like a train station, see? People from aaall over show up, except instead of "different prefectures", it's "different worlds". [A second finger!] Sometimes, there are like, doubles or even triples of a world with some differences between 'em. [And a third!] There's another Okita Souji here and that guy isn't from my world either, but there are definitely some similarities too. Same name, same story, same fighting style- [same tb HOW UNFORTUNATE] -that kinda stuff. Funny, though. You all look different.
retorter: (zones the fuck out)

[personal profile] retorter 2015-11-15 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ kashuu............ kashuu pls souji needs to know what a train is for this metaphor to work.... if only Souji was as world-savvy as everyone else apparently is.... actually, why did Souji ask for the multiple world tutorial from Kashuu in the first place.... Souji's gaze stays on Kashuu's face. ]

[ 'same name, same story, same fighting style - that kind of stuff.' that kind of stuff. eyes narrowing. ]

...It'd be a real shame if you're lying to me. [ You know, this threatening tone would be a lot more effective if Souji wasn't armed with a stick. but it's ignore logic hour with Okita Souji, who doesn't exactly realize that this is something really weird to lie about. Instead, he's aggravated at the fact that he doesn't??? understand??? Kashuu's explanation, and that Kashuu knows all this stuff and is just hurling it at him as if he's looking for a reaction ]
adornmental: (WHEN IN DOUBT PINKY OUT)

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-15 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
If I was gonna lie, I'd pick something less stupid to lie about.

[He's not really a liar, anyway! In fact, his painful honesty is more of a hindrance to him and everyone around him than it is a help...

That said, he'll throw his dear former master a bone since he's clearly struggling:]
CERES'll explain it all in a powerpoint later. ...Or maybe they already have, but a-ny-way! You'll see for yourself soon enough how all this stuff works. I'm not good at explaining it- [WHAT A SHOCK] -but there're other people who can. I can even introduce you to the other Okita here, if you want. He stays in the same apartment with me and Yasusada.
retorter: (what more do you want)

[personal profile] retorter 2015-11-15 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ the real question here is would Kashu's explanation be any better than the CERES powerpoint later on.... there's still an undercurrent of annoyance with this whole situation, but that invitation gets him to raise an eyebrow. he's being such a punk-ass to you kashuu why the invitation??? ]

[ oh, it's proof that kashuu is telling the truth right... not a weird friendly overture. waves a hand. ]

If you're telling the truth, then I'll run into him anyway. [ he doesn't want to meet the other guy with TB, too late. ] But if not, I hope you're fine with the consequences.

[ ??? ]
adornmental: (overturned leaves)

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-15 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
[No... no it wouldn't be... But hey, at least he'll have two different explanations to be annoyed by! Maybe he'll forget how irritating Kashuu's was!]

Sure, sure. [Waving a hand in flippant dismissal. CLEARLY HE'S NOT WORRIED...] I'll tell you where to find me if that happens, o-kay?

[Maybe he can stop by and visit sometime! Weird friendly overtures.]
retorter: (are you clinically thick)

[personal profile] retorter 2015-11-15 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
[ in three months when souji's homeless and gets kicked out of his apartment because he didn't get a job then... yeah, he'll probably come and visit. ]

[ he snorts at that, but considering this entire conversation so far, he's not surprised at the flippancy. it could almost be endearing, if Souji wasn't still Confused about Cerealia. ]

That attitude of yours is annoying, you know. [ he says, not minding ] But alright.
adornmental: (dutybound)

[personal profile] adornmental 2015-11-15 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
You're not the first person to say that.

[And he surely won't be the last either... BUT WHATEVER!! They can be Annoying Attitude Buddies together, clearly.

And intrepid adventurers since there's still a whole level of ViViD left to explore, which Kashuu will helpfully stick with Souji for. Kind of like an irritating tour guide! Surely he'll be glad when they bump into each other later on...]