//TESTDRIVE11.EXE

[reparator]

//testdrive11.EXE

The sky is blue, the birds are singing, and it is a beautiful day to be a hero. And CERES sure knows that all of you people like to be heroes! So the new ViViD level is geared towards those who clearly have nothing better to do with their time than save people and take down villainous creatures!! Or, well, that seems to be the intent behind the game, but it's a little... unfinished... Welcome to CERESscape! A world dedicated to the mythical! The magical! And everything in between! You, INSERT USER INFORMATION HERE, are the hero chosen to save our world from a dire threat. Will you take up the task? Or leave us all to perish! Only you can decide our fate. Good luck, hero.

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I [ 900 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity. Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not. The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… ! Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation. But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great. PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside? The problem is, it’s going to take a while. The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes. Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg. Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that? PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house. You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.” Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes. Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile. And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river. At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again! PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and -- A message pops up, bright red and in your face. [ Restricted Area: Members Only ] No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is). Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again. Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool. (It was really, really cool.) BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off. To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies. Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again. Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you. At least you look festive! [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Eleventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[unswerved]

[ LEVEL TWO, YEAH!! yata even does some kooky pose upon leveling up. ]

Alright!

[ but he quickly notices anna peering out into the dark. ]

Something wrong? Are there more of them?

[rosing]

[ If Anna was looking, she would stare at him judging. ]

...No.

[ But she has absolutely zero idea which place to go and she's not about to admit she's lost. ]

[unswerved]

[ then yata's going to lead the way. ]

Stay close and follow me. I'll get us out of here.

[rosing]

[ he sounds so confident so she nods and--takes his hand. ]

[unswerved]

[ ... he may or may not be turning red becuase of this. ]

[rosing]

[ tilts her head to blink up at him. ]

Misaki?

[unswerved]

[ DON'T LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT. and he does know what's happening, so he covers his dumb blush with a smirk. ]

Ah? What is it?

[rosing]

Your face was red.

[ Misaki used hide to hide his blush!
But it was ineffective. ]

[unswerved]

[ he can't exactly tell anna to shut up... what does he do? what does he do? ]

Ah. [ yata uses his free hand to scratch his cheek. ] I must've gotten bitten by a mosquito.

[ good enough excuse, right??? ]

[rosing]

...Does it hurt?

[unswerved]

Anna, why would a mosquito bite hurt?

[ thank. he's calming down now. ]

[rosing]

Because I don't know how much a fake mosquito bite hurts.

[ and then, pointing in one direction: ]

I think I walked here from that way.

[unswerved]

[ ANNA WHY... ]

Ah. Well. [ ACT COOL YATA, GOD. ]

We shouldn't go that way, then. Come on.

[ he'll tug on anna's hand, leading her to another direction. ]

[rosing]

[ it's okay even if he doesn't act cool.

she follows by his side, her eyes lingering on his aura, the only red she can see in this place. it's okay even if he doesn't act cool because, really, he's the prettiest red here. ]

...Misaki?

[unswerved]

Yeah? What's up?

[ thirsty? are you hungry? do you need a piggyback ride? yata will do anything. ]

[rosing]

What does 'level up' mean?

[ She heard it earlier. ]

[unswerved]

You don't know what "level up" means?

[ yata stops to face anna, patting her once on the head. ]

You're lucky you're with me, because I know all about video games! It means that I've gotten stronger than ever.

[ YATA YOU'RE ONLY LEVEL 2... ]

[rosing]

[ She knows video games. ...She knows one game, the one that was a pretty red when she shot things. ]

Stronger?

[unswerved]

Yeah, [ anna can probably tell that talking about games has gotten yata into a really good mood. ]

Your stats go up, and you can attack harder, and your defense goes up, too.

[ a beat. ] Come to think of it, what level are you?

[rosing]

[ misaki looks (feels) better when he's smiling. but, ah, she gets it--it's like when she became red king? ]

How do I check?

[unswerved]

Ah... how do you check... How do you check?

[ he mumbles it a couple of times until he comes up with an idea. there doesn't seem to be a status screen or anything, so maybe the only way they'll find out is if they get in a fight? ]

Maybe you'll find out if you level up. Do you wanna fight some chickens?

[ if anna gets the last hit, she should get the exp, yata thinks. ]

[rosing]

[ the chickens don't spill red when they're killed, it's kind of disappointing. but she supposes there isn't any other way is misaki (for now) thinks there isn't. ]

Okay.

[ her palms start glowing with pink red fire. ]

[unswerved]

[ yata'll make sure anna barely has to do anything. as homra's vanguard, he's supposed to take the lead when it comes to attacks, so here he goes when he spots a couple of chickens! the chickens look extra weak upon yata's attack, considering they only have a smidge of hp left, and yata tosses them over to anna. ]

Just slap them.

[rosing]

[ slapping is so blue king. red fire swallows the chickens whole before they even land...but there's no level up jingle.

she shakes her head. ]

[unswerved]

[ what? why didn't she level up?!?!? maybe it's because it's just one chicken??? ]

Here! [ have some more! ]