PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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no subject
Murdering is an option? [ Look who found the black sheep of those decisions. He sounds amused, though his face doesn't look it one bit. Trowa can more than handle an assassination if he needed, but he's not about to announce that to someone he doesn't know. Might as well pretend to pass as a normal teenager for now. ]
no subject
Why not? [ the idea of killing someone in exchange for whatever Souji wants is probably kind of unhinged, but Souji doesn't make any point to look less shady. instead, his smile widens ]
It's not like people stay dead here. [ which makes it okay.....???? ]
no subject
That doesn't make it a smart option. [ Trowa makes it sound like he's more weirded out than he actually is. Because in reality, he's filing that detail away for later use. Death isn't permanent. Or something like that– needs further research. ]
I'm not going to ask for you to...to kill someone, just because you want a favor. [ Is his act presentable enough? Maybe, maybe not. Assholes can usually tell when there's others like them. ] What do you want?
no subject
To see if someone can jump inside this bag and still get out. [ all these things are coming out, is it like gigantic inside, does it work if you throw things in, do any of these things really matter? his mouth curves up, ] Interested?
[ he won't pass judgement if trowa's not because who would be. ]
no subject
[ Not in the least bit interested. At all. Mostly because he's fairly sure it could send him back to the start of the level and he's been down that road more than once already. It hasn't been his idea of a good time. ]
You should try one of the rats.
[ It's living??? And there's plenty of them. Too many. ]
no subject
[ please trowa, it's far more fun shoving people inside ]
Though I guess it doesn't really matter in the end. [ so why.............. ]
no subject
It might be a more fun way to get rid of them. [ Is that a joke......hard to tell, since his face is exactly the same. ]
...You were really hoping someone would take you up on the offer, weren't you?
no subject
I wasn't expecting anyone to. [ where are all the guileless, trusting individuals in this test drive huh???? ] But you never know. With all of us wandering around here, there might be one or two do-gooders.
no subject
Do-gooders. I think you mean gullible individuals. [ Quatre is a do-gooder in his mind, but he wouldn't fall for something like this. He's smarter than that. ] In any case, good luck I guess.
no subject
It's not like I'm trying to trick anyone. [ it's an honest, forthright request trowa okay ]
Oh? That wasn't very enthusiastic. Don't wish me luck if you don't really mean it.
[ he's just being needling on purpose, because what else is there to do and also Trowa's facial expressions haven't moved an inch since they started this conversation, have they??? but he doesn't follow that up with another comment. trowa is free to leave souji and his ongoing bag-a-person quest ]