PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ cough. ]
What do you mean "two years' worth"?
no subject
I haven't forgotten our promise to meet at Sabaody with the others.
no subject
At this rate we're definitely going to get in legal trouble! No... with all this fourth wall breaking, no one will accept this as a real test drive thread anymore!
no subject
Very well. I wanted to fool around a little longer, but the way our conversation is now, we have all these tags and little characterization to show for it. How unfortunate. They've already rejected you before you could submit an app. They've preemptively banned you. That's even worse than committing a faux pas in-game and getting thrown out for it. You're truly the worst of roleplayers, Araragi-kun. Please don't tag me again.
no subject
Even though getting banned really shouldn't bother me, I feel strangely dejected... No, more importantly, isn't this actually your test drive in the first place?
no subject
[ The slight change in her expression can tell anyone that she's realized her mistake.
But. ]
I'm not so weak-willed that I would hide behind a mask to tell you anything, Araragi-kun. I don't want to be the sort of person who holds these feelings in anymore.
I suppose I could soften the blow for you, though. Should I need to visit your HMD, I'll use the sandwich method: I would tell you of all the faults I find in you, all the things I'm absolutely fascinated by, then hope that by being with you, I can help you overcome your weaknesses, and that you can help me do the same. But, I wouldn't ask you to change.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be the man I fell for.
no subject
[ in fact... it almost sounds like a good thing? maybe he should just always be a terrible role player in order to get crit like that.
it's a bit devious, but... ]
I'd return the favor, but it'd be rather hard to find any faults. [ ...any faults that he actually wants to vocalize, anyway. no, when it comes down to it, he probably couldn't find anything he'd call a "fault" in the first place. ] So instead, I'll be one of those people that always just leaves positive feedback on your HMD posts, even though that seems totally contrary to their purpose.
no subject
[ She finds it easier to smile this time. Whether he is good or bad at whatever he does, it's who he is that really matters: the Araragi-kun who is kind, cute and saves her, just like a prince. ]
Then, regardless of where I may go, I ask that you watch me well. I look forward to your feedback.
no subject
[ ... ]
That wasn't supposed to sound as creepy as it did.
no subject
When I said "off-screen development" I actually meant to say "compensation". This clearly isn't a vacation. But, this isn't a kidnapping, either. Those words imply that we have a home to return to, and while that may not affect tragic lovers who have nothing left to lose, we're not that dramatic a couple, you know?
I still have a father, you know?
no subject
But yeah, you are right about that. It's not like I can just afford to stay here forever either.... and it's not like if we heroically clear the game by defeating the last boss with a deus ex machina, we'll get magically sent home.
There's also all that stuff about our homes being destroyed, but that definitely just sounds like the kind of bluff a bad guy makes without any real basis. Never mind our series, but there's no way the other studios would let their more profitable shows get ended out of the blue like that.
no subject