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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-10-31 05:58 pm
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//TESTDRIVE11.EXE

//testdrive11.EXE



The sky is blue, the birds are singing, and it is a beautiful day to be a hero. And CERES sure knows that all of you people like to be heroes! So the new ViViD level is geared towards those who clearly have nothing better to do with their time than save people and take down villainous creatures!!

Or, well, that seems to be the intent behind the game, but it's a little... unfinished...


Welcome to CERESscape! A world dedicated to the mythical! The magical! And everything in between! You, INSERT USER INFORMATION HERE, are the hero chosen to save our world from a dire threat. Will you take up the task? Or leave us all to perish! Only you can decide our fate. Good luck, hero.

//SCENARIOS.EXE


PHASE I

[ 9:00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.

Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.

The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !

Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.

But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.

PHASE II

[ 9:30 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?

The problem is, it’s going to take a while.

The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.

Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.

Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?

PHASE III

[ 12:00 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.

You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”

Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.

Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.

And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.

At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!

PHASE IV

[ 14:30 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --

A message pops up, bright red and in your face.

[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]

No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).

Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.

Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.

(It was really, really cool.)

BONUS

[ xx:xx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.

To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.

Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.

Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.

At least you look festive!


[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Eleventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

yourfononsarewhack: (light up glasses)

Phase I

[personal profile] yourfononsarewhack 2015-11-01 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[well, that sure was a display. Jade watches as the chicken flies the coop for good and glances curiously towards the woman who seems to be in an unusual state of undress.

He pokes at his glasses and then speaks dryly.]


I believe that it's safe to say that you won that round.
guiltybutterfly: (pic#9635740)

[personal profile] guiltybutterfly 2015-11-01 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh great, someone was watching. The last thing she needed was to cause a scene. The assassin prized for her ability to stay hidden, done in by a chicken.

She stands tall, tensing her shoulders should she need to defend herself. Her eyes narrow into a glare that seems to ask "who are you and what do you want?"]
yourfononsarewhack: (teatime)

[personal profile] yourfononsarewhack 2015-11-02 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[It probably happens to more assassins than you think. But it's probably also just because Jade was watching sharply.

He's formal in his posture, garbed in military regalia. Yet he gives a casual shrug at her questioning glare, while an eyebrow raises curiously. There's any number of reasons why she's choosing to be Quiet, and he's interested in figuring it out.]


My name is Jade Curtiss. All that I want right now is to beat this game, by any means necessary.
guiltybutterfly: (pic#9635742)

[personal profile] guiltybutterfly 2015-11-02 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
[The color and lines of the uniform suggest military, but it didn't look like it belonged to any nation she was familiar with. A para-military task force, maybe?

Still, he sounds like he wants out. They might have commonality here. She's not about to let her guard down, but she'll accept the help.

She extends a gloved hand, dark markings appearing on her face in the shape of a butterfly-- the closest to an introduction she can manage.]
yourfononsarewhack: (shielding mouth)

[personal profile] yourfononsarewhack 2015-11-02 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[He glances at her hand and then towards her face - those are odd markings. And she's still not speaking.]

Nothing else to add? Or perhaps that's your introduction. [Now he goes to shake her hand.] Madame Butterfly it is.

[He figures that if she can speak, she'll object to such a ridiculous name.]