PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
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But apparently he has his limits when it comes to being able to set things aside. Traumatic history? Brush that shit under the rug. BUT CALLING HIM SHORT... How dare.]
Short—? Seriously?! Is that seriously the first thing you're gonna say? [He's wearing heels and everything, geez!!] How about "wow, Kashuu, that jacket suits you!" or "you're looking cute today!", huh? You're bad at this! You're really bad at this!
[Where's his praise!!]
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Oh, are you offended? [ in a 'i can't imagine why' kind of tone. ] Really, it's not so bad being short.
[ and normally he'd end it there, but now he's entertained... ] Unless you're the type who's picky about appearances. Fussiness isn't really an attractive trait, you know.
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I'm not an easy sword to handle, y'know? [Which translates to being high-maintenance and fussy as hell. YOUR SWORD, SOUJI.] Besides! It's important to have a good appearance. [But that's neither here nor there, and he's quick to move back a little to regain some distance, gesturing off toward the back of the cave.]
A-ny-way, I'm tired of all these chickens and rats. Let's go, let's go, it's boring in here!
kashuu.... just leave him in the caves to starve
It's just weird. [ suddenly, he speaks up. ] Wouldn't a sword only care about killing people?
[ he sounds genuinely curious about this..... ]
ugh he cant... why cant he quit this punk
Wow, Souji's just full of tact...]
S'not like that part isn't important. It is! [Kashuu "who would love a sword that can't kill" Kiyomitsu definitely knows it holds weight... Still, not all swords are used to kill, and some that are quite good at killing hold no value outside of the battlefield. That isn't something he wants at all, so of course he has to worry about other things.]
But just being able to kill isn't what makes a sword good, see? Any sword with a sharp enough edge can kill, and even people who can't handle difficult swords like me could still manage that.
and in that moment kashuu and hijikata were one...
So it's important, but not the most important thing. [ but what else is there ] Then what is?
HE NEVER WANTED THIS LIFE
This is also expecting a lot out of a conversation with Kashuu. He's not emotionally apt! He doesn't even know how to handle basic feelings some days, and he sure doesn't know how to delve into a personal topic with the former master who's responsible for shaping a lot of his current views. Something about that seems too open, like it'd make him too vulnerable, and this punkass Souji doesn't make him feel inclined to share unlike the other he's come to know.]
Isn't this kinda conversation a little too gloomy? Explaining that stuff's way too complicated, anyway! [Waves his hand!! He's a simple sword.]
TOO LATE.... add punkass souji to the list of soojs u gotta look after kashuu
What, you don't think I'll understand? [ would he, though ] Even so, I'm still interested. You probably know everything there is to know about me, but I don't know a thing about you.
[ Does this bother him??? It's hard to tell from tone and expression alone. He looks casual, as if they're just talking about something mundane that Kashuu totally wants to talk about. ] That's pretty unfair when you think about it.
this sooj collection is getting out of hand
That's a pretty weird thing to hear, y'know! I mean, tsukumogami have a hard time figuring humans out- [Generally speaking, anyway.] -but a swordsman knows his sword like the back of his hand, right? You know a lot about me. Probably more than I know about you.
[Though... Souji knows him as a sword... and not a weird finicky clingy punkass spirit. CLOSE ENOUGH, who needs to differentiate between the two??]
who else would want them tho
... [ u punk ] Well, you're not wrong. But the sword I know didn't talk back to me. [ maybe Souji talked to it at first though like the nutterbutter he actually is ]
Besides knowing how to kill with it, there wasn't much else...
[ is he taking this seriously.... he is. brightly. ] Ah, you did have a nice edge to you. I remember -- my first kill. All I had to do was clean you up a little and you were good as new.
[ ah...... FOND ASS MEMORIES ]
chizuru apparently...
You just couldn't hear me. I was around for a couple hundred years before you picked me out! [And considering tsukumogami come into being after just one hundred, he was definitely around!! How's that for spooky... Haunted by spirits without even knowing.
That said, what a nice compliment! Truly, this is the arena where Kashuu shines at his least human... Being pleased with his ability to deliver a clean killing blow. He tilts his chin up a little, prideful.]
Of course! Not many people can handle me, but I'm a good sword.
someone app chizuru immediately
If you've already been around back then, what makes it so different now? Why do you look like that?
[ that... For once, Souji doesn't mean this to be insulting. He's just Confused. ]
please, souji needs his babysitter...
Kashuu makes a little noise of agitation regardless, smoothing out his ponytail.]
I already told you! [Kind of... if Souji were to squint.] My master's the one who summoned me. He gave me this body so I could actually like, touch stuff like a human can. [And also sleep! And eat!! And buy pretty clips for his hair.]
no subject
You didn't tell me that part. [ he waves a hand ] But it's a good enough explanation, I guess. [ i guess ] I might have known you as a blade, but the whole human thing is new to me.
[ so far the things he knows about this Kashuu Kiyomitsu could be counted on one hand: that he's a sword and can kill things, but thinks that other things are important too like uh... style... and looking nice??? And he likes the color red??? ]
And you said earlier that you didn't get humans... So I guess we don't know much about each other after all.
[ no, he feels like he's the one at the disadvantage here!!! but whatevs ]
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Yeah, well— [This is also probably the point where one could say something like "we have time to get to know each other", or something equally friendly that would set the conversation off in the right direction. But this is Kashuu!! And how would Kashuu be a sword of Okita Souji if some of his stilted social skills weren't passed on...!
That is to say, he's still somewhat discomforted around this Souji and also still mildly salty that he's left and come back without his memories, so he's not about to be a comfort.]
That's fine, that's fine. I've heard I'm not much different, either way. ["Hard to handle and pretty", his perpetual defining traits.] I'm the one who's behind anyway, y'know. It's not like you're the Okita from my world.
[Oh right, he forgot to mention that too, didn't he??]
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...What's that supposed to mean?
[ what the heck kashuu you can't just slip that in out of nowhere ]
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He may have put that out there on purpose, though, just to provoke a reaction... Which is worse?? A mystery. ANYWAY, he'll start by holding up one finger.]
So! First, this world's kinda like... kinda like a train station, see? People from aaall over show up, except instead of "different prefectures", it's "different worlds". [A second finger!] Sometimes, there are like, doubles or even triples of a world with some differences between 'em. [And a third!] There's another Okita Souji here and that guy isn't from my world either, but there are definitely some similarities too. Same name, same story, same fighting style- [same tb HOW UNFORTUNATE] -that kinda stuff. Funny, though. You all look different.
no subject
[ 'same name, same story, same fighting style - that kind of stuff.' that kind of stuff. eyes narrowing. ]
...It'd be a real shame if you're lying to me. [ You know, this threatening tone would be a lot more effective if Souji wasn't armed with a stick. but it's ignore logic hour with Okita Souji, who doesn't exactly realize that this is something really weird to lie about. Instead, he's aggravated at the fact that he doesn't??? understand??? Kashuu's explanation, and that Kashuu knows all this stuff and is just hurling it at him as if he's looking for a reaction ]
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[He's not really a liar, anyway! In fact, his painful honesty is more of a hindrance to him and everyone around him than it is a help...
That said, he'll throw his dear former master a bone since he's clearly struggling:] CERES'll explain it all in a powerpoint later. ...Or maybe they already have, but a-ny-way! You'll see for yourself soon enough how all this stuff works. I'm not good at explaining it- [WHAT A SHOCK] -but there're other people who can. I can even introduce you to the other Okita here, if you want. He stays in the same apartment with me and Yasusada.
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[ oh, it's proof that kashuu is telling the truth right... not a weird friendly overture. waves a hand. ]
If you're telling the truth, then I'll run into him anyway. [ he doesn't want to meet the other guy with TB,
too late. ] But if not, I hope you're fine with the consequences.[ ??? ]
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Sure, sure. [Waving a hand in flippant dismissal. CLEARLY HE'S NOT WORRIED...] I'll tell you where to find me if that happens, o-kay?
[Maybe he can stop by and visit sometime! Weird friendly overtures.]
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[ he snorts at that, but considering this entire conversation so far, he's not surprised at the flippancy. it could almost be endearing, if Souji wasn't still Confused about Cerealia. ]
That attitude of yours is annoying, you know. [ he says, not minding ] But alright.
no subject
[And he surely won't be the last either... BUT WHATEVER!! They can be Annoying Attitude Buddies together, clearly.
And intrepid adventurers since there's still a whole level of ViViD left to explore, which Kashuu will helpfully stick with Souji for. Kind of like an irritating tour guide! Surely he'll be glad when they bump into each other later on...]