PHASE I [ 9 00 ] You open your eyes, and there is a chicken pecking at your face. It's not a very happy chicken, either, but if you can manage to fend it off, then it will be clear that you are in a village. It is... medieval-esque, in that video game sort of way; the details don’t seem too clear, but if you look to your left, there’s a cow! And to your right, a well! Ignore the clear evidence of modern technology in the buildings such as lights, gas, and 21st century plumbing; CERES is dedicated to authenticity.
Looks like the new ViViD level has finally been released, and everyone is invited to play, whether they want to or not.
The game (because this time, that's surely what it is) will start simple. Everyone begins in the same place and every NPC villager will say the same thing: to get out of here, you have to go through the caves. They’ll shove a stick at you (“take this, it’s dangerous to go alone”) and off you go, into the caves… !
Which are full of tiny rats and more chickens. They will try to fight you, but it’s really not very effective when they’re perfectly small and average (especially when everyone still has their typical powers and abilities -- CERES didn't mess with those at all this time). The caves are winding and circular and maze-like, and to make matters even worse, the only ones around are the other poor saps stuck in this situation.
But if you kill enough of the rats, you’ll get to hear the satisfying level up jingle. Congratulations! You are now level 2. It's probably satisfying just for a minute or so until you finally find your way out of those maze like caves and -- You're back in the village again. Great.
PHASE II [ 930 ] You’re carrying a bag. No matter what you do, you can’t take it off, either; it’s stuck with you through thick and thin. But it is awfully heavy. Maybe you should actually open it and see what’s inside?
The problem is, it’s going to take a while.
The bag has clearly tapped into its true hammerspace nature; there are items for days in there, and they’re all very, very strange. You might end up covered in hats of all sorts, buried in logs as you pull out one after another, or look like you have an odd fetish for pickaxes.
Maybe there’s 1/3rd of an evil turnip, half a piece of pie and an egg.
Geez, what in the world are you supposed to do with all of that?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] Eventually, you make it out of the caves the right way despite the harassment of the rats and chickens and the fact you'll keep perpetually getting lost. Hooray! You come out into a large, peaceful, scenic meadow, with a small river bubbling off to one side, and a house.
You'll immediately notice that there’s a bridge to cross the river, but there’s someone standing in the way of that bridge. When you approach to go past him, no matter what you try to do, you won't be able to. Asking him why he won't move will only get one thing in response -- “Bring me a fish. Cooked.”
Then he’ll shove a fishing rod at you and expect you to get to it. You can’t attack him, you can’t get past him -- looks like the only thing to do is to catch and cook that fish. Time to sit back, relax, and get to work. Or maybe you’ll team up with someone else and be the person in the house making sure that the fish gets cooked properly. For some reason, if you leave it too long it turns right into a pile of ashes.
Weirdly though, no matter how good you are at cooking or fishing usually, it’s as if you’re right back at the metaphorical level one. Any sort of seasoning or effort to cook it faster falls flat and in the end you'll only be able to place the fish in the pan and set it on the stove, whole. This may take awhile.
And if you try to cross the river itself, well... no, really, don’t try to cross the river.
At least if you get eaten, you’ll just respawn back in the village, but do have fun traveling through the caves again!
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] You made it through the caves. You made it across the river (with a slightly burnt fish). You’ve made it to the wide open world, and you can finally adventure to your heart’s content. You take a step forward on the road and --
A message pops up, bright red and in your face.
[ Restricted Area: Members Only ]
No matter what you do, you can’t go past that point. In fact, if you’re not careful and you’re going too fast, you might run face-first into it like it’s an invisible wall (which it is).
Then, just like that, you're back in the village. Again. Only this time, there's a nice, blinking message -- Pay a small subscription fee to access member's content. Oh well. No big deal, you can just start again.
Except then you see a cool sword and when you try to pick it up, you'll get that same message, and end up transported back to the village yet again. And again, with some shiny new armor. And again, with that attention-grabbing NPC over there. Looks like you're caught in an infinite loop here but no matter how much you inspect the pop up, there's no... actual way to pay the subscription fee (and why would you want to?). But at least you have company, because you can't be the only person who thought that sword was cool.
(It was really, really cool.)
BONUS [ xxxx ] What’s that on the ground in front of you? It looks like… some bunny ears? Or maybe it’s a chicken head, or a pumpkin head. Either way, the moment you touch it, you have a strong need to put it on your head -- and once it’s on, it’s not coming off.
To make matters worse, each hat has an effect associated with it; the bunny ears will, in fact, randomly turn you into a cute fluffy bunny for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour before you pop right back to yourself, whereas the pumpkin hat will, in a complete reversal, turn you into Cinderella for a bit -- complete with beautiful ball gown and the ability to talk to all of those cute fluffy bunnies.
Also the rats will love you, so maybe you should go back to the caves again.
Meanwhile, the chicken hat won't transform you into any odd creature, but it will inspire in the people wearing them a very real, persistent desire to build a nest. This will involve picking up twigs, trash, shiny things and whatever else catches your eye to try to build a nest out of it. You'll also try to pick up whatever food you find on the ground to eat, have the weirdest desire to lay an egg, and basically have all sorts of odd chicken-like instincts inflicted upon you.
At least you look festive!
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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sounds like a lot of murder waiting to happen....
Hm? [ He passes a hand through his hair and down, only to miss the feather and streak a little bit of chicken blood on his cheek. ew.... ]
when will they be able to control their stabbing hands tbh...
That is to say, he strides to cross the distance between them and reaches up, plucking the feather right out of his hair and rubbing the blood away with the cuff of his sleeve.]
That's gross. [Pointedly... Don't be gross!!]
throw a kondou in with them and see what happens
[ He takes a step back; an annoyed, almost sulky expression on his face. don't make him feel like a kid kashuu!!!! (even though he is one) ]
Kind of you. [ said this ungrateful punk. his face smooths back into something carefully neutral, tilting his head to look at the other ] But you should be more careful.
[ there's an underlying threat here.... for... cleaning off chicken blood ]
Team Babysitter/Dad
But more importantly, why is he like this... Kashuu's head tilts a little in a mirroring of Souji's gesture, but his expression is mostly baffled instead. Only a true nutterbutter would threaten someone over cleaning off chicken blood, so clearly that can't be the case here!]
More careful of what, huh? It's not like these are poisonous chickens. ...Probably.
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[ his voice flattens at what he thinks is kashuu just playing dumb. he sure is taking this weirdly personally. ]
Do you usually go around touching strangers? That's not a safe habit to have, you know.
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Uh, not strangers, no. [Though this is largely untrue... No one is safe from Kashuu the Clingy Barnacle.] But you— [Ah. Wait a second--] ...Hey, d'you not recognize me?
[He's heard of this sort of thing happening before, but it's never actually happened to him. Bad luck bears have finally caught up...]
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Am I supposed to? [ He squints, racking his memory for a moment. maybe... ] Have I tried to kill you before?
[ spoilers it's still souji ]
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In the end, it just flattens into something that's a little difficult to read. He didn't sign up for this today!!]
Recognize this? [Gesturing toward his hip! Even in ViViD, he keeps his weapons and clothes (most of the time thanks ViViD), so he's still carrying his vessel. SURPRISE, HE'S A BURGLAR!! ...That would probably be easier to believe, huh.]
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[ actually, he just spends a moment here staring down at the sword, not saying anything. then he switches the stick to his non-dominant hand. ]
Any chance you'd let me take a closer look? [ what if this is a giant trick to steal his nutterbutter crown ]
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That said, this might not be the Souji who wielded him in his own world, but trusting any Souji is pretty much instinctive. He slides the blade free and holds it out with barely a second's pause, albeit with one somewhat pointed statement:]
Be careful with me.
[Even if this is VR, best to not take chances...! Don't dub him a nutterbutter and run off with his vessel.]
1/2
[ It feels right the very moment he holds it, the way it settles into his hand. He holds it up, assuming a Tennen Rishin-ryu stance, then slashes it down. (katana jazz hands) Quickly and easily. There is a weird look of contentment on Souji's face. Maybe killing chickens all this time hasn't actually been that therapeutic after all. There's just something about holding a sword of his own that's always soothed Souji's mind. ]
I recognize it. [ yeah everyone can tell ]
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It's not how I left it. [ And that's why he holds it out for Kashuu to take back, maybe with a touch of regret. He's not going to run off with it... this time. He could claim samurai sovereignty or something, but it's hard to claim a sword that he willingly discarded. ] You've done a pretty fine job.
[ carefully neutral, though there's something hard in his gaze. you stole it didn't u u urchiin ]
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Or maybe he's just feeling extra huffy and agitated now because he's a contrary bag of salt by nature and being reminded of nice things is making him feel extra salty. It's no good, looking back - being stuck in the past is Yamato's bag, anyway. He'll reach out to take his vessel once it's handed back, sliding it back into place with his jaw set at a stubborn angle.]
If you're gonna compliment someone on their craftsmanship, it should be the master that summoned me.
[He may be an urchin but his hands are clean!!]
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Me. [ he repeats. His world may have its fair share of weird-ass supernatural shit, but vampire shenanigans is a pretty limited scope of experience when you think about it. ] So, what does that make you then? The sword?
[ hahah as if ]
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Looks like he hit the nail on the head with that wild guess, though. Congrats! Just what he needs in his life, right? More spooky supernatural bullshit...]
Mmmhm. See? That's me - the real me, Kashuu Kiyomitsu. [Tapping his vessel.] You've heard of tsukumogami, yeah? [He's been around the required 100 years minimum, surely this isn't too strange!]
So calling you a stranger would definitely be weird.
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[ Souji looks him over head-to-toe, slowly. He has heard of tsukumogami, but he's never been one to have superstitions or believe in anything beyond the sword in his hand and the shinsengumi around him. (And zombie vampires). He cocks his head to the side, in a 'so that's it' gesture. ]
I guess. [ neutral as fuck. He's still having a hard time associating the boy in front of him with the sword he remembers. ] But that doesn't really explain why you'd be friendly towards me.
[ dryly. should've punched him before wiping chicken blood from his face, kashuu ]
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There's no good way of saying "well, I thought you knew me and I thought this bridge was crossed already!!" either, and since he's still feeling kind of sour about everything, he's not inclined to explain that yet... What a helpful sword. Instead, Souji just gets a sloping shrug before Kashuu gestures outward with an elegant sweep of the hand.]
Because I knew you really well before, right? It's like that. [A beat.] All of the stuff that happened - that was a looong time ago for me, anyway.
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Is that so? What a carefree attitude. [ except Souji can tell that Kashuu's irritated about something... What could it possibly be? He doesn't know how much of this to believe, but he's gonna roll with the punches. Kashuu's graciously given him a way out anyway, by acting so casually about a situation that could very well cause Souji to feel that emotion he hasn't felt in a long time: guilt. But this is much easier. Treating something that's actually really serious and should probably be extremely emotional with inappropriate levity!!! ]
I guess I'm just surprised. I mean, you're a lot shorter than I expected.
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But apparently he has his limits when it comes to being able to set things aside. Traumatic history? Brush that shit under the rug. BUT CALLING HIM SHORT... How dare.]
Short—? Seriously?! Is that seriously the first thing you're gonna say? [He's wearing heels and everything, geez!!] How about "wow, Kashuu, that jacket suits you!" or "you're looking cute today!", huh? You're bad at this! You're really bad at this!
[Where's his praise!!]
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Oh, are you offended? [ in a 'i can't imagine why' kind of tone. ] Really, it's not so bad being short.
[ and normally he'd end it there, but now he's entertained... ] Unless you're the type who's picky about appearances. Fussiness isn't really an attractive trait, you know.
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I'm not an easy sword to handle, y'know? [Which translates to being high-maintenance and fussy as hell. YOUR SWORD, SOUJI.] Besides! It's important to have a good appearance. [But that's neither here nor there, and he's quick to move back a little to regain some distance, gesturing off toward the back of the cave.]
A-ny-way, I'm tired of all these chickens and rats. Let's go, let's go, it's boring in here!
kashuu.... just leave him in the caves to starve
It's just weird. [ suddenly, he speaks up. ] Wouldn't a sword only care about killing people?
[ he sounds genuinely curious about this..... ]
ugh he cant... why cant he quit this punk
Wow, Souji's just full of tact...]
S'not like that part isn't important. It is! [Kashuu "who would love a sword that can't kill" Kiyomitsu definitely knows it holds weight... Still, not all swords are used to kill, and some that are quite good at killing hold no value outside of the battlefield. That isn't something he wants at all, so of course he has to worry about other things.]
But just being able to kill isn't what makes a sword good, see? Any sword with a sharp enough edge can kill, and even people who can't handle difficult swords like me could still manage that.
and in that moment kashuu and hijikata were one...
So it's important, but not the most important thing. [ but what else is there ] Then what is?
HE NEVER WANTED THIS LIFE
This is also expecting a lot out of a conversation with Kashuu. He's not emotionally apt! He doesn't even know how to handle basic feelings some days, and he sure doesn't know how to delve into a personal topic with the former master who's responsible for shaping a lot of his current views. Something about that seems too open, like it'd make him too vulnerable, and this punkass Souji doesn't make him feel inclined to share unlike the other he's come to know.]
Isn't this kinda conversation a little too gloomy? Explaining that stuff's way too complicated, anyway! [Waves his hand!! He's a simple sword.]
TOO LATE.... add punkass souji to the list of soojs u gotta look after kashuu
this sooj collection is getting out of hand
who else would want them tho
chizuru apparently...
someone app chizuru immediately
please, souji needs his babysitter...
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