ioculus | //TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE4.0.EXE

MOONFESTCON 2014 PART I: Embracing Lunacy

It's that time of the season to praise the two moons of Cerealia. As they hang in the sky, looking harmless and moon-like, the robots and CERES staff have gathered together to prepare a fanciful celebration. It's primarily located in the Pleasure District where paper lanterns hang and where fireworks are starting to burst in the sky. Everyone is welcome to dress up and enjoy an evening of fantastic pleasures, platonic or otherwise.

"Good evening! As always, I'm pleased you all can join me. Do enjoy all the beverages being passed around along with the many services we have to offer, all there for your pleasure.

Take time to play in one of our many booths or just slip away and have a crazy evening. The moons bid it. Don't be shy."

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ 1900 ] The festival begins promptly with a kick-off speech and a toast from Julius Vincere, encouraging everyone to celebrate beneath the two moons as they light the sky. The weather is crisp and beautiful, leaving them both in full view as their light cascades upon the festival. Around the district, there are several stands full of standard fair food (candy apples/corn dogs/ice cream/deep fried everything), games, and an assortment of many awkward prizes (if you're wondering what these are, do remember you're in the Pleasure District!). Also, there is alcohol everywhere, served to minors and adults alike.

PHASE II

[ 1945 ] The music is playing loudly beneath the noises of the festival. Anyone approaching the speakers will notice a strange buzzing noise that keeps wavering. Then, the sound changes abruptly to the sound of pained moaning hidden within the song. It grows more pronounced by the second until the lights in the Pleasure District flicker off for a brief second. When they return, there is someone crawling out of the speaker. Your eyes squint, and you can see them briefly, the faint outlines of their form as their screaming escalates, only everyone else seems to be deaf to it. Only you can hear it, and you wonder how and why no one else is reacting. Is it just you? Are you hallucinating? Better get used to that feeling in Cerealia.

PHASE III

[ 2000 ] Your friendly speaker friend up there doesn't seem to want to go away. (S)he keeps crawling out and disappearing throughout the evening, but it's easier to ignore as Julius takes to the stage. He has a special announcement for all. CERESdate (who sponsored this wonderful festival by the way) has agreed to set up all you vibrant, sexy Cerealia singles with some robot partners for the night. Want to escape? Too late. They're latching on and dragging you out to the dance floor to boogie down. Afterwards, they'll try and drag you to the nearby hotels for some extra loving. You are welcome to run at this point or comply happily.

PHASE IV

[ 2103 ] Have you escaped the overzealous sex robots? Good, good! Now, it's time for the real fun. The holograms turn from PG images of the stars and surrounding moons and planets to a few fun images of various robot couples caught in absolute bliss. You may spot a clown mask in there or two, reminiscent of those who were running around causing a bit of trouble earlier. The images continue to get distorted as the clowns look like they're stretching their necks out of the image and reaching out towards you. The moaning from before returns.

Doesn't it get you in the mood? If it does and you'd like to find a partner for the night, a few CERESdate robots will be on hand to help fix you up with a partner, organic or otherwise. They're being quite insistent again because they want your credits.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] Have you ever been stalked by a condom-dispensing machine? Well, there's a first time for everything! These friendly contraptions are set up all over the Pleasure District, waiting for you to pass by before trailing after you very slowly. At first you don't notice. Every time you turn around, it stands stationery. But the moment you start to move, it just carefully rolls behind you. Watching. Waiting.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's fourth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ phase I ]

[ He's not exactly superstitious or anything (he's just part of a family who dedicates themselves to protect a shikigami meant to seal an ancient cursed serpent) but he knows that supernatural things exists. Poko, the tanuki on his shoulder, is proof enough of that. And a reason for praising moons is a superstitious one, right?

But still. Kagemitsu enjoys festivals. He just wishes he was here with Botan or Sasaki-dono or Hirari-nii-san. This place is so unfamiliar with all the odd things that he has never seen on a proper Oumi festival, or at any festival during Kamakura, for that matter.

Like these funny shaped things he won at a game. ]

Poko... The future is weird.

[ The little animal seems to nod in agreement. ]

[ phase III ]

[ This is truly frightening. Kagemitsu really wants to get away from these things and he is loudly protesting to the thing to let him go. Poko is hissing angrily at the robot, and claws at it, in attempts to help the child she's been guarding since forever.

Kagemitsu even smashes the hilt of one of the treasured Kumou swords into the robot's face, but it's not reacting. ]

Let go already!

[ He's ready to draw his swords by now, really. ]

[It's going to be her job to save dumb humans from dumber robots, she's decided. She doesn't even care about any of it that much, but the protesting from the humans is always so loud and obnoxious--]

Oy! With me, stop it! [She comes around to Kagemitsu and grabs at his sleeve, tugging to get his attention. Her bored gaze remains on the robot though.] Will dance with him. Bother someone else. Shoo, shoo! [She makes a shoo-ing motion with her free hand.]

[ He was a fool for thinking the things could be reasoned with like normal people. Obviously, they can't. But it seemed he was saved before he actually cut up the robot, which might be a good thing.

He's grateful but confused---she doesn't seem to be from Oumi so there shouldn't be any reason for her to actually help him. ] Right, I... [ What is he supposed to say? He can't even dance, in the first place, so how do you pretend... ] I have company now, so I'll be alright. [ How to keep up appearances of being an adult? No idea. He's 20 but he's still a kid in many aspects, even if he's head of his family.

At least the robot seems to accept it, after a minute or two. He's so relieved when it leaves, and when he turns to the woman who helped him, he looks as grateful as he is. ] Thank you, onee-san.

[ As he offers her a bow, Poko jumps up on his back, and the tanuki curiously sniffs the air in the woman's direction. ] Poko?

Welcome. [What was an 'onee-san' anyhow... Well, it didn't sound like an insult soOona lets it slide. She lets him go and crosses her arms lightly over her chest, looking a bit uncomfortable with the thanks. Jeez, humans are going to start thinking she's doing it because she likes them or something.

Oona's about to say something, but she's a bit distracted by the weird-- raccoon? She's seen them on her travels before, but they didn't look this...intelligent.] Poko...? What is it?[Presumably the name of the creature. Oona eyes it suspiciously a moment before cautiously holding her hand out for the creature to sniff; could it tell she wasn't human? That wouldn't particularly surprise her.]

She's Pokoya, she lives at my shrine.

[ The Kumou shrine is a place dedicated to defeating a cursed serpent, and Kagemitsu is the first official head of that family. He stays a bit bent down, letting Poko do as she pleases.

After a few moments of Poko investigating the woman's scent, she snorts as if she's discovered something. Although Kagemitsu can't tell what it is the spirit has found out. She pats her human on the head, and he lifts her down and holds her in his arms. ]

She's a tanuki and a spirit, and she's family.

Pokoya. I see... [Oona tilts her head. A spirit? Okay, that's a bit more familiar to her, though she doubts she's ever encountered something like this.]

Shrine? You are, eh... Priest? That is the word, yes? [That's all she can assume anyhow as Oona leans in slightly to examine Poko herself. She likes animals-- they're not humans.] Cute.

I guess I am, sort of. [ It's complicated.

But he smiles when Poko is complimented. And Poko seems pleased. ] She is.

[As if remembering she's not supposed to like humans, Oona straightens and clears her throat, looking off with a feigned disinterest.]

Does not matter here. Be careful. Robots like to, eh... meddle. Very annoying. [She scratches her cheek lightly.] But harmless, mostly.

At least they are not trying to kill people this time.

[ He's confused at the sudden change. Alright.... ]

You mean those odd things, right? With robots. [ They're honestly the biggest confusion of all.

Wait. ]

They tried to kill people?

[Honestly, at this point, Sousei is pretty practiced at dealing with robots. He knows that there are weak spots where their circuits (?) come together, and it is there that he slams the hilt of his own sword (treasured Abe sword, how unexpected) into that spot.

The robot short-circuits for a moment, and Sousei frowns.

This is disgusting.]

Are you unharmed? [Even though he...knows......... what those robots were actually after.

Also this guy... looks vaguely familiar?]

[ Thank you, stranger. Kagemitsu is grateful for the help. ]

Yes, I a---[ Which is when his mind registers that sword and what in the world... ] Why do you have Nii-san's sword?

[There were so many responses he was expecting. That, however, was not one of them. For a moment, Sousei pauses, blinking.]

...What?

[His...sword? Last he checked, there weren't any contenders for the Abe family sword; that's why it had been passed down to him, after all.]

[ Kagemitsu gives him a look of 'did you not hear me?' and crosses his arms. ]

That's Hirari-nii-san's sword.

[ He's seen that sword plenty the last couple days. He wouldn't mistake it for any else. ]

Where did you find it?

[ "Where did you steal it?" ]

[Hi...rari.... somehow, that's a familiar name. Where has he heard it?

But it's not so familiar a name that he would hand over his sword to this strange for it. Sousei straightens a little in response, posture exact, and while his expression is as calm as ever, he's not exactly happy about the implications there.]

...This is the Abe family sword. It has been passed down to me, Abe no Sousei.

[...he'd follow it up with "you must be mistaken", except...this guy seems very certain, and... well, it's a very distinctive sword. It seems like an odd detail to mess up, and with such certainty.]

[ So he's an Abe? Alright, that almost explains it, except Hirari wouldn't just hand it over to any random Abe because of his past. And they had been mid-battle against the Orochi's followers, so that makes it make even less sense.

He looks the taller guy up and down, trying to figure out what is going on, and who he is. He's so weirdly dressed... Is he even Japanese? He knows Abe takes in children, but it's complicated. ]

What I know of, Abe no Hirari had it, and he wasn't in the position of just giving it away at the moment.

[What are timelines... This is so bizarre. Abe no Hirari is not a name he's particularly familiar with, though that's not really all too surprising. After all, he'd never had any contact or connection at all with his family, family name aside. But that probably won't mean much to this guy, who clearly has some other knowledge going on.

Sousei pauses, but...it'll all become clear in time, right? ...Probably?]

...There could be a number of explanations for this. [Isn't the place they're in proof enough of that?] What is your name?

[Is this guy even someone he should be trusting right now?]

Could there?

[ Well, of course there could be. Was he another Bait? He wasn't the slightest bit like Hirari but that guy was probably an exception.

He doesn't mind sharing his name, but he feels this guy is just too suspicious at the moment. On the other hand, this Abe guy told Kagemitsu his name, so it's only fair that Kagemitsu tells him his. ]

It's Kumou Kagemitsu.

Kagemitsu Kumou | Donten ni Warau

Phase III

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III

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Phase I

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