Welcome to CERES' new dating experience -- ABOMIDate (Catchy, huh?). They've found that they're a little concerned with everyone's ability to... connect with denizens of different species, and in a place like Cerealia that is full of aliens, that's a Big Problem! After all, it's pretty clear by now that there are a lot of things about your friendly neighborhood aliens that you just know nothing about. What else do you not know? That the greeting of a Faswwg is face licking? That feathered species require mating dances to woo? That [REDACTED] needs [REDACTED] to [REDACTED]? So clearly, the way to fix this problem is...to practice dating other species!
Namely eldritch abominations! In CERES' experience, eldritch abominations really sum up the full interspecies dating way of life and provide you a variety of different species (and orifices) to enjoy.
So it's time to put on some proper music -- no, not that, that's not right. There, that's better. Anyway, time to put on some sexy background music, and woo the monster of your dreams!
 [ horrifying noises of nightmares and despair ]
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PHASE I [ 8 00 ] Welcome to the new and improved Abominable Dating, CERES’ brand new virtual dating experience! The first thing you will see will be a character select screen, because CERES wants you to get to the dating part right away. Don’t worry, there are a lot of beautiful and handsome candidates to choose from so feel free to jump right in! There’s this fellow, or this dashing lass and even a hidden character who is... not really all that hidden if they’re right there to be picked, but there you go!
You have to pick one. There’s no other option, I’m afraid.
And once you do, you’ll end up in a room with your date, dressed up in beautiful, date-like clothing. Unfortunately, everyone else who picked that date will also be in the room with you, also dressed up and prepared for dating.
This is awkward.
It gets even more awkward when your date decides that you look like a great main course. Watch out for those claws/teeth/limbs/etc! Maybe you can work together to take down your starving date, sad as that sounds.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] No dating game would be complete without stat boosting sessions. Regardless of how you feel about your current date, you’re locked into the game now (and hopefully not while covered in the blood of your date themselves, though they just come back even if you managed to kill them), and the game is picking a stat it thinks you need to work on. Either your intelligence is deplorable, your charisma is totally lacking, or your strength is at noodly-arm levels. That’s pretty bad. (It doesn’t matter what your actual intelligence, charisma or strength are, the game might be making things up at this point.)
Because of this, you’re going to be automatically tossed into a mini-game to increase those stats! This will be fun, absolutely. Nothing but Fun here in ViViD. So regardless of what the game thinks you’re lacking, it’s going to throw you into the same mini-game -- eldritch abomination make-over sessions.
You'll show up at a row of dressing rooms, each marked with a sign above the door reading NO INTELLIGENCE or NO STRENGTH or NO CHARISMA in bright red letters. Choosing the right one (embrace your shame) will reveal your initial date to you. They bat their eyelashes in greeting and growl out a very sultry, Will you help me, senpai?
Time to get to work!
You won’t be able to leave the mini-game until the monster is completely satisfied with its makeover, so it’s time to really tap in to your inner fashion sense. Of course, the fact that you’re all trying to apply makeup to the same monster might make this hard, but you can surely all get along, right?
Right?
PHASE III [ 1800 ] At first, you were on a date. Finally, you, your monster, candelight. Everything was going right until... well, you made a bad dialogue choice. They asked you what your favorite food was, you accidentally picked "Italian" (or maybe picked it on purpose which makes this even worse!) and then things went dark.
When you wake up, you'll find yourself in a cage. The room is dark and dank and there's no light other from the crack of a door somewhere up a flight of stairs. You're in a cage in a basement and there's a key glinting on the table right across the room there. Is it for your cage?
Welcome to the Yandere Route.
You might not actually be alone though. The cage isn't terribly big but there's enough room for someone else and if you shift around a little, you'll bump into them. Maybe you should share some woes of the eldritch horror dating experience. Maybe you should try and find a way out! Who knows? But there's one thing for sure:
You're both extremely naked.
Good luck!
PHASE IV [ 1830 ] You did it. You’ve gotten to the end of the game, or nearly. You’ve earned up enough affection points somehow. Maybe it was through the eldritch abomination following you around to trying to eat you or maybe it really, really, really liked your makeover. Maybe there was that thing and the cage and some weird pictures it took -- who knows! But now it’s time for the inevitable scene.
The confession scene.
Except... well, ViViD can’t do confession scenes very well. You'll find yourself there in the schoolyard, dressed in the appropriate school uniforms but...
For one thing, there’s a heavy shower of rose petals. A heavy shower. They’re everywhere. They might get in your mouth and face, they’re pooling around your knees, it's a rose petal flood and you're about to drown!
For another, the eldritch abomination you chose to romance is getting closer and... closer. And closer. And that sure is a lot of teeth, huh? Is it coming in for a kiss or to eat off your face? It’s... really hard to tell with all the rose petals, isn’t it?
To make matters even worse, you can’t move -- you’re locked into the scene until it comes to its proper conclusion. The game is stuck and you're here, suffering through it all. Well, you're suffering unless someone comes and rescues you, but who in the world would interrupt a touching scene like this to do that?!
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You know you have to get dressed up nicely for your date. It's an important one! Third date means third base, after all. So, you’re shoved into a closet, and surrounded by tons and tons of choices to pick from. You're spoiled for choice!
But, well... no matter what you put on, or even if you just elect to stay in your regular clothing, it changes as soon as you step out of the closet to meet your date.
Don’t worry, you look adorable.
It can’t be taken off, of course. So you’d better get comfy, because you’re going to be a pink dinosaur for your third date and... your fourth date. And your fifth. Hell, you might still be a pink dinosaur when it comes time to confess! How... cute.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Rey | Star Wars
[Choosing a date took a little longer than Rey would have liked: mostly because she fond the whole thing very confusing. Dressing specially for a date was causing even confusion, because what was wrong with what she was wearing in the first place?]
No, sorry, I don't think I'm meant to be here. I think... Is there somewhere else I can go? Or can I just skip by this?
[She cant and she stares at the categories, confused]
I don't understand. Don't you need these things? Why would you want to be without them?
PHASE IV
[She doesn't notice the school uniform, as her hand is out-stretched, gathering some of the falling petals in her palm and staring at them with sheer curiosity. Seeing such vivid colours is still something entirely new to her, and she runs her fingers over the petals, looking around at the flood of them]
I never knew there could be so much colour anywhere before, but I'm fairly certain it's not meant to be like this. So, um, h... how are you?
[She's only noticing the outfit now, and promptly frowns at it. This is nothing like she's ever worn before and it seems very out of place. She kicks some of the petals away - the ones in her hands being ones she'll keep - and wonders where her staff is]
You... You have very lovely teeth.
[What is she meant to say? Could she run? Running seems like a good option now]
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
[Hit me with your best shot!
II
Uh. Do you have video games where you’re from?
[ Better start with the basics. ]
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I don't know. I've never played any games. Does... does that have something to do with this?
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Granted, if there is one out there that actually involves tentacled horrors, I’ve never heard of it, so we’re all in for a nasty surprise at one point or another.
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[Rey's eyes widen, and she looks a bit fearful. She's actually come across some real tentacled horrors in her short time off Jakku, and she has no desire to run into them again]
What are we meant to be doing then?
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II
Do what I say and pick the door labeled No Charisma.
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And why should I do that?
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[Patience...patience is a virtue. Not one many Sith at all possess in most situations, though Revan could be a exception to the rule. Since cutting his way out wasn't an option, it was best to just get things done.]
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[Rey will stare because how did he come to that conclusion?]
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There's logic in that, I guess...
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IV
Always trying to find the good in creatures. I'm sure it'll keep that in mind while it's digesting you.
[ Hello Rey, remember him? ]
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Most have some good in them. Just because you're devoid of the basic idea of it, doesn't mean everybody is. What are you even doing here?
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[He straightens up, staring down at her as he tries to push the image of blood on an altar with her bracer neatly resting nearby. She had been here before...not for very long. Was this even her? ]
Don't you know it's rude to ignore your date?
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Where's yours? Or did you just kill it?
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[ He walks around her, keeping his eyes on her even as his lightsaber pops to life at his side. ]
Or do you only extend kindness to monsters when you have something to prove?
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They attacked us. This creature isn't doing anything. And are you counting yourself among those monsters?
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IV
That no one should be focusing on trying to woo this sort of creature.
So he takes a step towards them, wishing for his own sword, but he speaks to the monster anyway.]
If you're looking for an opponent you can try fighting me.
[Hopefully he'll be a good enough distraction to give her a chance to escape.]
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[Rey speaks up quickly. She doesn't need anyone stepping in for her. Yes, she was trying to placate the creature, but only to buy herself some time]
You don't need to do that.
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He calls on his magic, letting electricity crackle to a ball in his hand. ]
I'm happy to help.
[ He wants to help. ]
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You do not need to attack. No one needs to attack.
[Second time using this type of Jedi trick... would it work?]
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I don't need to attack.
[The creature might be another story.]
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You don't want to attack. You are finished with the game. We are all finished with the game.
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