ioculus | //TESTDRIVE8.0.EXE

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!test drive

//TESTDRIVE8.0.EXE

CERESCON Y2NEVERGONNAGIVEYOUUP.

Welcome, new arrivals and already dedicated residents, to CERESCON. This three-day extravaganza is taking place at a convention center just a few blocks away from where new arrivals will view their powerpoint presentation (...has that always been there?!) and if you're worried about the entrance fee, don't be - your badges are already paid for and you don't even need to show ID in order to obtain the badge (they already know who you are). Note this is not the actual company of CERES this time; it seems to be a completely volunteer-run affair by the native population of the colony.

If the current music on repeat is any indication as you spend your time waiting in line for your badge, it seems there is a very strong need to demonstrate that you all are important. And are never...uh, alone. Sorry about Santa, kind of.

Also, please don't step out of line, you'll lose your place and have to go to the back of the line. Getting your badge once you get in line is no longer an option, with volunteer speedy robots half the size of an average adult (or maybe your size if you're in the four foot range) more than happy to pick you up over their heads and scooter you to your appropriate place in the line, including making you get to the back of it if you managed to step out too far. They insist you accept their apologies and show of good will.

Get this Party Started

Once characters reach registration, in addition to the badge they will receive a goodie bag with a map of the convention center, a schedule of events, a CERESCON T-shirt, and one (1) absolutely useless trinket from home. (NSFW) Furthermore, for your pleasure, one of the many models sponsored by Cerealia top (and only) producer of "adult merchandise" has been included (NSFW!!).

Enjoy your weekend filled with colorful cosplay, questionable merchandise, bizarre panels, gaming rooms and extremely overpriced food!

If you're bringing weapons, you'll be forced into the line of inspection to be peace bonded. If you are a weapon (swords, yes, especially you...) you will be peace bonded. Violation of personal privacy/space complaints will not be acknowledged for peace-bonding, as it is a necessary requirement for the safety and fun of everyone. Don't let your peace-bonding fall off, either, or you will be dragged back kicking and screaming (with your weapon or just you if you are the weapon) into the line. If you are bringing along an animal or robot or other companion (ex: if Hiccup brings Toothless), they need to be peace-bonded, too. The difference is the staff seems to treat them with much more care than you and your weapons. Huh.

Lastly, if a character decides to make things not fun in any way—for themselves or otherwise—they will find themselves with a single special security member appearing out of nowhere to properly show them why they should be having that fun. He will show up at any time, anywhere. This includes the bathroom if you feel the need to be negative in the bathroom about things. Each time he has to show up, the situation will be more severe in warning. If you need to be approached more than a very generous five times, the sixth time will invoke you being removed from the con rather violently, badge taken from you and you lifted by the crowd control volunteers to get back in line and START ALL OVER AGAIN.

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PROMPT I

[ 0000 ] COSPLAY IS MAGIC

The convention center is crowded, and many of the congoers are most definitely getting into this. They seem to think you are, too—even if you're not in cosplay, they sure are under the impression that you are (you know, as yourself)! Don't be surprised if you get stopped for pictures by overly enthusiastic colony natives. ...also don't be surprised if strangers dressed as people you know from home jump in on these pictures. They're all too willing and eager to talk about how hard they worked on their costumes, and how excited to see other fans they are. Heck, some of them might even be cosplaying you! Hopefully you don't get a highlander waxing poetic about how they would have chosen a better wig to suit your hairstyle than what you have or that your scar is on the wrong eye or how that material you chose for your vest is kind of tacky.

Also, don't correct them about any facts they have wrong about you (or your world), if they start talking to you about it. Some will be very insistent they know what they are doing as a dedicated fan and cosplayer. (maybe you just didn't study your reference book hard enough before arriving like they did.)

It's a fierce world out there of competitiveness. (some cosplayers will have done excellent jobs, and of course, others will not so great. it's up you and whoever you tag with on the types you'll meet! if you end up in the bathrooms at any point, you will find them crowded with cosplayers trying to fix wardrobe malfunctions and stalls being used as dressing rooms. Hopefully you can wait.)

PROMPT II

[ 0000 ] HOW MUCH FOR THAT FRENCH FRY, AGAIN?

It's shaping up that there are long, loooong lines for the various panels and activities, so you'll want to get in line early if you want to be sure you get a good spot! The topics of the panels span a range of just about anything under the sun, from origami lessons to voice-acting discussions to cosplay makeup tips to the wonderful world of slash fiction. There is one panel that doesn't have much of a wait to get in—and that will be basically a rehash of the introductory powerpoint sequence, but they added some sort of flashing effects that could probably give someone a seizure. If nothing else, you'll be rewarded for your mistake of staying in that room for even ten seconds with a headache and a bit of nausea that'll require you to get a bottle of water and/or food from a vendor to make it go away. (Food from outside won't help, and the character will have nausea for the entire day of the con unless they remedy it with some over-priced convention food!). If you get hungry while waiting in line, you'll want to send someone out on a food run. Be sure to only buy from approved CERESCON vendors! Some of the restaurants from the city have set up booths (maybe your character is working at one!), but the prices are high and the portions are tiny. Don't even think about trying to smuggle in food from the outside, either. If you leave the con to save yourself some money for lunch, make sure to finish it first as bringing it back to the con will have the special security force come up to you once at the door (and stopped by a con-volunteer about the food), take it out of your hands and—

—throw it on the ground in front of you both. Maybe jump on it for good measure, while they are at it. The volunteer that had stopped you in the first place will now cheerily point you in the direction of various food stands scattered throughout the convention center. You know, as if nothing just happened there with your smuggled goods being found. You can expect jacked prices from the aggravating that you begrudgingly pay to the outlandish.

PROMPT III

[ 0000 ] HAMSTER STYLE

All throughout the day, a large hall with a sturdy wooden floor will be hosting a wide variety of video games. There are your usual arcade games, some console games set up on floating flatscreen televisions, and five dance game consoles (strangely similar to DanceDance Revolution and ParaPara Paradise, for those who know of them from home)— show them your moves and try to be as awesome as this guy. (Games can be a parody of just about any video games out there, so use your imagination. You can even have a special booth that's trying to promote a game like ~~Sword Hell~~ Touken Ranbu mania that you're either into yourselves or are victim to via plurk timelines. Or, you can have visual novels to play as they try to promote those. Anything goes, even if you probably wouldn't normally find it at a convention to play.)

If your character is from a video game, even with the game being played at the con as a parody, they can find little freebie trinkets that may have them as the character on it promoting the gameplay!)

When the sun goes down, that's when the party really starts. The CERESCON Rave takes place in another area—an unimaginably big ballroom on the second floor of the convention in its West Wing. Once 9:00PM hits, even if you are doing other con activities, volunteers will start coaxing you towards the direction of the rave. The longer you resist, the more insistent they will get. Although they will eventually drag your sorry butt there, you'll be able to leave around fifteen minutes after the rave starts and go back to what you were doing. If you somehow managed not to get dragged to the rave, the efficient cleaner robots will assume you are con equipment needing to be put away and lock you in a storage closet. Maybe if you scream really loud for help, someone will eventually notice and be able to open it so you can get yourself out of the dark.

As for the ballroom itself, the large space will be transformed in a fancy display (transformer style!! they obviously must have observed mecha transformations for it in particular because it's pretty much a ripoff) into a dance floor with blacklights, colored strobe lights before the doors close and everything goes black. At the back of the room, a large theater style video will play. At around 0:35 seconds in the video, all the lights will come back on for partying. And the end of the video will have the car come busting through the screen like its paper and the hamsters will get out and guess what!@! They're your DJs for the evening. They like it when you dance with them, so make sure to at least pretend for one song. Also, upon entering you'll have been given glowsticks of all kinds, so let loose and have a blast. (If your character so desired, they could have activated the glowsticks at any time. Note that there will be npc natives in addition to player characters at the rave!).

—and, hey, wallfowers!! Why aren't you dancing?? What did you get told about fun when you entered this convention?!

PROMPT IV

[ 0000 ] CHECK OUT WHAT I HAVE UNDER THIS COAT.

A dealer's room! That should be harmless. Lets start with how incredibly huge it is and that they have some awesome music and live entertainment while you shop(?!)

There are all sorts of thing available to buy here—everything from knockoff comics and DVDs to keychains and plushies to somewhat more reasonably priced packaged snacks to cat ears that wriggle in accordance with your brainwaves. What a great use of science, right? All of the vendors are so excited to be here, and even more excited to have you looking at their wares! But mostly they're excited for your money.

They've employed the same kind of helpful robots that had kept people in line back at badge pick-up to usher people over to their stands, and if anyone uses excuses "It's too expensive" or "I don't have enough money," when declining interest in buying something, never fear. The robot-merchants will be more than glad to strongarm another shopper into joining you and will then proceed to repeat, "SHARING IS CARING, SO SPLIT THE BILL, CHINSWAD!" over and over again until you buy something... even if you don't actually know whoever they brought over.

The far side of the room is devoted to stalls where artists are hawking their wares. If you think you see some familiar faces mixed in with the unfamiliar ones in the artwork, that's because you do—some of the natives have taken to illustrating pictures and doujinshi featuring none other than you along with your friends from home, your cross-canon CR, or even just people you haven't met yet that they think you would look cute with. These works range from fluffy to disturbingly explicit, though underage characters won't find themselves featured in anything questionable (nor will they be able to look at the material). In fact, the dealers will seem to know when the udnerage are approaching, and will hide the explicit works from view before they can even see them, including taking goods you or another may currently be looking at.

Make sure you buy something before exiting! Getting to the exit without at least one purchase will have you stopped by the volunteers at the exit making sure people are exiting without killing each other. What do you mean you didn't buy something? Get back in there, because they aren't going to let you out until you do. In fact, if you try to exit without any merchandise, you'll be expected to get two. Please and thank you for demonstrating your enthusiasm to having fun this CERESCON. (If a character buys something for another character and gives it to them, it counts as purchasing an item. volunteers just conveniently know and so does Panda-san. ) ~~Now get out and don't come back unless you're planning to buy something the next time you're here.~~ Have a nice day.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] YOU WANT TO HIT MY WHAT?

And, of course, CERES has latched onto one of the more trying convention traditions. We aren't talking about shouts of "YOU JUST LOST THE GAME" or "BUTTSCRATCHER", or anything else that has been a thing shouted pointlessly. We are talking about good ol' paddles. Yaoi paddles. Yuri paddles. And many other varieties between and outside thereof the aformentioned, too. Natives have purchased them, and are extremely enthusiastic to have heard of the ways of other worlds using these items at conventions. Don't you worry, no matter who you are, they're coming for you, and probably when you least expect it.

Since it will happen multiple times throughout the convention regardless if you've already been graced by any, characters may start to realize that background noise (is this chase music?!) will be heard to alert you of paddler presence. Unfortunately, if you can hear the music, it means you are already in their sights and locked-on for targeting. You better run before they hit you, because if they do, you'll be incurring the effect of the paddle and have some terribly strong sexual desires to act on them (so if you're hit with an uke paddle, you'll end up feeling pretty hot and bothered quite soon along with the desire to be particularly submissive with your partner).

Obviously, the paddlers will try to lead you back (as you're pretty much going to end up in some sort of semi-stunned state for the first few minutes before it isn't numb anymore and the paddle effects set on) to find the right match for you! Because, really, what these natives to seem to be really doing is trying to get some real-life doujinshi scene actions from you guys. Give your loyal fans some fanservice and make them scream.

(You didn't really think they'd hit you with a paddle without an ulterior motive, did you...)

The effects will wear off in about a half-hour or until you do at least some form of physical contact. Kissing and above will be enough to get rid of the effects, although the more explicit the intimacy is, the longer period of time before more paddlers start looking for your cute butt, again.

If running isn't your thing, you finally seem to have some options to you. You can get a paddle of your own from a stall in the dealer's room. Other paddle wielders will leave you alone while you have it, as long as you're actively chasing others down! Happy hunting. These paddles can be anything from a normal paddle that induces no effect at all except the "innocent" slapping of someone's ass with said paddle or you can get your game on and take out your feelings of humiliation on other congoers. Or use it to your advantage if you got a crush or well, when you think about the possibilities are endless. Also, if you snap a paddle on someone, the native paddlers will console you for your loss and conveniently have another one to offer you.

If you try to hit natives possessing paddles of their own, they all seem to really like it and think that means you want to play with them. It won't end in your favor. Trust us.

Cerealians really can't understand why these things have mostly been banned in other worlds. This might be the most glorious part of the weekend to them.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. Also, please remember to make sure the threader is okay with whatever kind of things you guys decide to play out ICly! ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's Eighth Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

< PROMPT ONE: COSPLAY >
[He's been tricked one too many times today by people who he thought were fellow swords, or his Saniwa, or just other freaking real people and not someone pretending to be a real person. He doesn't under the appeal of dressing up and by the gods, he wants it to stop. Right now he's yelling at someone to stop pretending to be someone they're not - only it's actually your character being, you know, the real thing. Oops. He's too peeved to look very closely, sorry.]

Hey! Stop pretending to be someone you're not!

< PROMPT FOUR: SHOPPING >
[He hadn't wanted to come in here. He hated shopping and he had hated going shopping with the Saniwa back in his own world. He'd complained about it then and he was going to complain about it now, except that he'd been shoved through the door rather unceremoniously and now he couldn't leave. Every time he tried, he'd be kicked back to the tables by that goddawful panda and trying to attack said panda did absolutely nothing.

So now he's fuming and standing by the tables while dealers kept pressuring him into buying things and shoving people at him so he could afford something.]

I told you I don't have any money!

[He glared at the latest person to be pushed into buying him some stupid trinket the dealer thought he needed.]

And you better not have any either 'cause I'm not giving these hawkers one zeni.

< PROMPT BONUS >
[Okay, the place was freakish and weird, but at least it wasn't dangerous. It sucked to be "peacebonded" because, while he didn't really know that word, he realized it meant he couldn't draw his sword and he himself was restricted from any sort of violence. It especially sucked right now when he was surrounded by what appeared to be teenage girls wielding wooden paddles. Normally wood wouldn't match him so much as flinch, but he'd seen someone get smacked by those things earlier and he'd been trying to avoid that particular brand of "what in the seven hells is going on anymore."

Punching the women down seemed a little bit much, even for him, but as they advanced, he wasn't sure what else he could do. One of them took a swing and he kicked the paddle away, using the opening to run for it. He might just run into your character as he's fleeing from the miniature horde of fangirls, yelling as he goes.]

Outta the way! Move!

< PROMPT WILDCARD >
[Choose your own adventure - I'll adapt to you. :D ]

[Midare is going to look back on this moment later and laugh and laugh and laugh - and he's also never going to let Dotanuki live this down, either. Right now, he wants to see how long he can draw this out before the other sword realizes his mistake.]

I'll stop pretending if you tell me what the most fake thing about me is and you get it right~!

[Ugh, this one is just as annoying as the real Midare... Dotanuki's frustration rises and his lip curls a little at the display. Something about the interaction is nagging at his senses, but his anger is blinding him.]

What if I just punch you out of those clothes that aren't yours? Do you even know who you're pretendin' to be?

Ooh, scary!

[Midare knows very well who he is. The thought of pretending to be himself actually makes him chuckle, and he isn't quite able to keep from smiling.]

If you want to see what's under my clothes that badly, you don't have to get violent.

[Guh, that line. He'd heard Midare say that before in the Citadel, but how would a--

...

Oh.

Crap.

Do you see the egg on his face, Midare? Because it's pretty much everywhere.]

...shit.

Dotanuki Masakuni | that sword game everyone probably hates by now (touken ranbu)

one!

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one........

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jumps on the 1 train

choo choo to confusionville

where all the swords originated from...

i thought they came from the fires of sword hell...

i

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one

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shopping

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