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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


bewrightback: (HUUUUUH?!)

c

[personal profile] bewrightback 2015-03-10 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[Phoenix was quietly enjoying the movie in his own seat; for once, the memories on-screen were positive. He was thinking of ducking out in a few minutes to let Trucy know this film seemed to be relatively safe; but then he hears that loud voice echoing through the theater.

He starts to look around for its source in stunned disbelief.]


No... It can't be...

[It's been a long time, but the voice is unmistakeable. He feels some mix of disbelief, excitement and relief... She was likely at or near the top of list of people he worried about upon hearing about their world's fate, after all.

He runs across the theater to try to find her... and he manages to near her just as the robot is about to paddle her.]


Maya! Look ou-

[He's too late to warn her in the end; but he's just in time to be bowled over the falling Fey, causing his popcorn to sail into the air. Undignified heap is now plus one Wright.]
feytality: (scREECH)

[personal profile] feytality 2015-03-11 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[In contrast, Maya wasn't worried about Phoenix at all. If anyone could survive the supposed end of the world, it'd be him. She's not even really that surprised to hear his voice, or for him to end up cushioning her fall.]

[Basically, she crashes right into him and they topple over, Phoenix getting the brunt of the fall. OW.]


Ooof!

[... At least she's small? And maybe a little lighter than she should be?]

Niiiiick! The popcorn!

[And as always, her priorities are definitely in line.]
bewrightback: (DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT FEENIE)

[personal profile] bewrightback 2015-03-12 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
The- the popcorn?! It's been who knows how long and that's what you're worried about?!

[Don't worry about the popcorn, it's raining down on them right now. And the robots are watching.]
feytality: (ignores Phoenix's exposition for sandwic)

[personal profile] feytality 2015-03-15 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
I just saw you a little while ago! Did you start missing me already? [They sure at watching. And they're coming.]

[But it's okay. Maya has a plan. She's going to catch the popcorn with her teeth! All of it!!]

[Well, an attempt is made]


Ack! This is hard than it mmf!
bewrightback: (linefacing in the rain)

[personal profile] bewrightback 2015-03-15 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[He blinks in uncertainty.]

What are you talking about... are you counting a letter as seeing me?

[And he sighs at her antics.]

Maya, stop and chew before you choke, already!
feytality: (scREECH)

[personal profile] feytality 2015-03-18 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[Can't talk, too busy furiously chewing popcorn]

[....And also coughing]


Gack!
bewrightback: (i'm really lost right now)

[personal profile] bewrightback 2015-03-18 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you okay? Maya, I never learned how to do the Heimlich maneuver! [I always thought she might get choked up to see me again, but not in this way!

He'll try to make sure she's okay as he also tries to get back on his feet.]