//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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honey lemon / big hero 6
[ so, movies! honey lemon has a hankering for a good flick. maybe something with adventure, a little romance, a kickass female scientist...but she's just excited to see anything, really. she hasn't heard of any of these movies before, so it's anyone's guess what she might be getting into! and that's okay. it'll be fun to be surprised!
not that that makes picking any easier. ]
Let's see...'My Petite Equestrian Experience'? Sounds sooooo cute! Maybe...but 'Decease Harder II' might be a little more action-packed...hmm...
[ CHOICES ARE HARD. give a girl a hand in picking a (terrible) movie to watch? she'll even ask! ]
Oh - excuse me! Have you seen of these movies before? I can't decide what to see!
[ b. theater iv. ]
[ action won!! she's got this huge tub of popcorn to eat, so she figures she better pair it with a popcorn flick.
...it takes about ten seconds before she drops that tub of popcorn and covers her eyes with her hands. gee, that was violent! and that's how she stays for awhile, curled up in her seat, until she hears the sound of the movie shift dramatically into something very different - and all too familiar.
she peeks between her fingers, only to see her younger self on the screen! in junior high science class, no less, on the day when she...
oh, no. not that day. not the day she started her sweater on fire with the bunsen burner, and everyone...everyone saw her...bra!
her hands cover her mouth then, cheeks positively blazing as she glances at the rest of the theater. why aren't they looking at her? have they not noticed it's her yet? maybe she'll just...shrink down in her seat until she doesn't exist anymore.
she definitely picked the wrong movie. ]
b
Then he notices that her cheeks are are turning very red! What if this is some sort of strange illness?! He leans over the empty seat to address her, squinting at the girl.]
E-excuse me, Miss! Are you alright...?
imma b
[ OH NO, OH NO, HE'S NOTICED HER. he must have put two and two together, and it isn't exactly hard to figure that honey is the very same girl as the one on the screen right now! as improbably as it seems.
she hides her face half-way in the turtleneck she's wearing, as if that will hide her embarrassment or her on-screen presence. all those laughing kids... ]
I-I mean, um, YES, I'm perfectly - fine! Is it - a little hot in here, to you? I better go get some fresh air, I think!
[ except as she seems to manage is sinking even further into her seat. ]
now now, bhave
Are- are you sure?! You should be careful that you do not feel too heated!
[Even Lee can tell that she's sinking into her chair instead of getting fresh air. He sidles into the seat next to her to try to keep a closer eye on her.]
Is your chair eating you?!
i can't blieve you
except, something occurs to her peripherally. she's hearing explosions again, not the laughter of teenagers. she double takes at the screen, popping out of her turtleneck. ]
Wait! It's gone! It's over! Oh, thank goodness! [ and in her relief, she throws her arms around this random stranger for a quick, tight embrace. ]
you must b new here
these puns are bneath you
b that as it may...
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oops, a!
I haven't. I'm thinking of seeing the one about horses myself.
[he frowns as another advertisement plays. it would be sad except robots really don't appeal to him and he doesn't really get it. if it were golems... maybe.]
Large Adventurer Seven... That sounds like a winner. [except that dry tone of his suggests otherwise.] You'd think a lot more would have happened in the first six.
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and he does raise a very valid point, taking what he's said completely at face value. ]
Oh, cf course! Good point! I wouldn't want to see this one without having seen any of the other Large Adventurer films. I mean, I'd be completely lost!
[ wasabi would have balked at the idea of seeing a film without seeing the previous installments first. his insistence on order is what's sticking with her now. ]
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[he preferred varric's more concise and instantly gratifying stories. he frowns a little at the thought, thinking about him and all the others he'd lost, and it only deepens as an advertisement for her choice film, decease harder ii, plays. he could understand violence, but explosions without lyrium sand? now that just boggles the mind.]
None of these make any sense! Why would anybody want to ride a drake into battle? And they don't breathe fire either.
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A drake? ...Oh, you mean the velociraptor! At least, that's what they're called in my home world. No fire either, sadly!
[ the only drakes she's really familiar with is sir francis. ]
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b
...you okay, Honey Lemon?
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she yelps and nearly jumps out of her chair in response. ]
Hiro! Oh my go - how long have you - ! [ EYES DARTING FRANTICALLY BACK TO THE SCREEN WHERE
...jack mcjack is back on his velociraptor, throwing land mines in people's faces. she's never been so relieved to see something so graphic. she sighs, deflating back into her seat. ]
It's nothing! I'm TOTALLY fine, just a little - um - warm in here, that's all! Mmhmm! [ she nods repeatedly to hammer in this very unconvincing answer. ]
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[the fact that she almost jumps out of her chair means he's nearly startled into doing the same in response, flailing his arms around briefly in a way that would've been really unfortunate had they collided with her tub of popcorn — but luckily, her food stays safe for the time being. he uncertainly follows her gaze to the screen and then looks back at her, mouth slightly open.]
Uh-huh. Warm. Are you sure that's all?
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[ this has got to be the most successful deflect ever in history. ]
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lobby
The Yard-Door movie is really good!
[ She says it with so much emotion, she's actually tearing up a bit. ]
So good...
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Is it sad? I love a good cry!
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Don't let the title fool you! It's going to pull your heartstrings so hard!
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a
Hey, Honey Lemon.
[Her enthusiasm never ceased to amuse him, and he can't help but chuckle.]
I've seen a few of them, but I'm here to see Decrease Hard II myself. [bad action movies are totally a guilty pleasure don't judge him okay]
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Tadashi! Hiiii! [ ecstatic as ever to see him, she nearly tosses her popcorn, a few stray pieces falling on the floor. ]
Which one is your favorite so far? Wait, don't tell me - it's the one about robots, isn't it?
[ SHE KNOWS HOW YOU HAMADAS FEEL ABOUT ROBOTS ]
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No, actually - I haven't decided yet. Thought I'd try them all first. [He was disappointed that the robot one was rather depressing? And since when did robots have a thing for cheese? There was no telling.]
So far they're all pretty cheesy. Not necessarily in a bad way, though. [cheesy movies were great sometimes! He's hoping this one will be a little better than the last two. A cop on a velociraptor? How could that not be great?]
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yolo...o/
Sorry, I've only watched the one about the Yard-Door People. It was... strange, [as in how did they get footage of his past up on screen?] and sad, but in a good way. But if you don't feel like watching that, action is usually a safe bet, right?
yoloooo!
What kind of sad was it? I mean, was it the contemplate-your-place-in-the-cosmos kind of sad, or the what's-my-passion kind of sad? Or the dog-dies-at-the-end kind??
[ this makes all the difference, honestly. ]
!
Mm. There was a bit of the what's-my-passion kind of sad. But I think it was a it-was-so-happy-that-I-was-moved-to-tears kind of sad. And Mostly this-happy-nostalgia-is-making-me-sad sad.
[He blushes] Th-that is, I think there's something strange with the theater. From what I was hearing, you probably won't see the same things I saw. [Thank goodness.]
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Lobby
This one... [She points to the Yard-Door People.] ...isn't so bad. But just make sure to keep away from the robots.
[Was that a low growl? That was a low growl.]
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What do you mean? What's wrong with the robots?
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I could provoke one... [She's honestly considering this. Blowing up just one or two wasn't satisfying enough.]
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