//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[heartboop]

Challenge accepted! I'll make you like veggies, Mercury! Or at least not find them boring and bad tasting!

[She may not be the best cook, but she will try!

Oh, the lights are dimming! Nora sits in her seat properly, starting to shove popcorn into her mouth at alarming rates.]

[kicksilver]

Save some for the actual movie, hmm?

[heartboop]

[There is only a thumbs up in reply, but she only slows down marginally. Maybe once the movie starts up...ah, there it goes! The film starts off with a literal BANG! They seem to be in the middle of a war. It's already getting a nod of approval!

A shame it's supposed to be a sad movie.]

[kicksilver]

[ He's pretty bored with the movie but he acts like he's tearing up, anyway. ]

[heartboop]

[Nora was tearing up too, now that there are BODIES ALL AROUND! That poor kid is all gross and mangled in the robot's arms. Even the robot is crying!

Just when it walks around with the body for a while, it suddenly gets dumped along with the rest, but that's when Nora sees a familiar face amongst the pile. With a gasp, she's at the edge of her seat, gripping onto the arm rests.]

REN?!

[There is a large 'SSHHHH' from the crowd, while Nora is scanning around to find his face again. She couldn't, and she also couldn't stop her heart from beating quickly. That...couldn't have been him...right?]

[kicksilver]

[ He sees Cinder, and it's not exactly a big deal for him. In fact, he's pretty pleased.

But his sweet, sweet delusion gets shattered with Nora being loud as hell. He doesn't know who Ren is, but he's sure that Ren isn't Cinder. Maybe they're seeing two different people on screen. Magic movie theatre. He's got it figured out now. ]

Ah, young love.

[ That's all he can say to Nora, who seems to be very flustered. ]

[heartboop]

[She frantically points to the screen while looking to Mercury with wide eyes.]

Didn't you see him?! Tell me you saw him!

[A pause.]

No! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM AND I'M HALLUCINATING! [Yes, that sounds much better! LIE TO HER, MERCURY! DO YOUR JOB!] He can't be...HE CAN'T BE!

[Her panic is quickly turning into anger. If something happened to him, all hell will not only break loose, but stay for eternity.]

[kicksilver]

[ Well, angry lady. He's used to dealing with damage control with these kinds of people. He prods her to stop by lifting both his palms and slowly pushing at the air, signalling her to calm down. ]

I didn't see him, and I don't even know who he is.

[ He could have ended there, but he's got a big mouth... ]

Boyfriend?

[heartboop]

[Okay, trying to calm down. Deep cleansing breaths....waterfalls...puppies...]

He's not my boyfriend. We've been friends for a really long, long, long....LONGlonglong time. [She gives a small smile. Feeling a bit better knowing that maybe her mind is playing tricks on her.]

[kicksilver]

So, almost boyfriend.

Lots of UST there, huh?

LUST right??

[heartboop]

Uuuhhhhhh....no. We're not together together. Just friends! No lust or anything! Not to say he isn't lust worthy, but he's not a piece of eye candy! He's Ren! My really long, long, long....LONGlonglong time friend. Remember? I just said it. Twice now.

naw ust! unrelieved sexual tension ;)

[kicksilver]

Now I'm getting confused.

....oh. >.>

[heartboop]

I can tell. [Resumes eating popcorn, this time much slower than her usual pace.] About what?

[kicksilver]

This Ren guy. Does he- I dunno- think you're eye candy too?

[heartboop]

[...that never crossed her mind! Nora looks visibly stunned, because that's not something she worries about!]

Why...would he need to? [Yes, this is the conclusion she's come to.] I don't think it really matters if he thinks I'm eye candy or not. It's not gonna change anything. Plus, that sorta thing doesn't have much weight against Grimm.

[Being beautiful is nice, but it won't help you in battle!]

[kicksilver]

[ He doesn't know this Ren guy at all, but if he meets him, maybe he needs to nudge the guy a bit. ]

Huuuuh. Okay. Yeah, even if you're butt ugly, the Grimm won't care.

[heartboop]

[Already acting like the big brother. Cute!]

EXACTLY! They wanna rip off your face either way!

[kicksilver]

[ Saying this with as much enthusiasm Nora is showing: ]

Ooh, but I'd want to rip their faces off more than they want to do it to me!

[heartboop]

[THAT'S THE SPIRIT!]

Then let's do it TOGETHER!

[There is a chorus of shushing towards her, and she does say 'sorry' softly.]

LET'S RIP OFF THEIR FACES TOGETHERRRRR! [She whispers loudly!]

[kicksilver]

[ He can't help but chuckle when she gets shushed. Told you so, little miss. ]

We're on different teams, though. That might be a bit of a problem.

[heartboop]

Well, not right now, we're not! Besides, who said teams couldn't work together?! Did you see that in the rules? I didn't!

[She probably didn't read them that well...]

[kicksilver]

[ If the rules didn't have pictures, he didn't read them... ]

Hmmm. . . what if I'm on patrol duty, and you guys are on fighting duty? See, now we can't kick ass together.

[heartboop]

Then I'll take names and kick faces in your memory!

[She's got this all planned out!]

We won't always be on separate schedules! One day, they'll need more than one team on a mission! Then we can a one-two punch and kick! We'll be so awesome and then all the Grimm will shake in their boots!

[A pause[

You know, if they wore any.

[kicksilver]

[ Rubs his chin with a couple of fingers. ]

I can't help but think that you're saying all that because I fight with my greaves.

[ A beat. ]

Are you, Nora?

[heartboop]

[It's hard to remember all the time that he fights with them if they're hidden in plain sight. She doesn't even look at them all that much!]

That's just a coincidence! Maybe I should've said they'll be shaking in their fur, but that doesn't sound as funny. And not all Grimm have fur.

[WAIT WAIT]

You...called me NORA!! [quietly claps in glee!] We're making it happen!