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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


bloodcrane: (pic#8887256)

lobby;

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ to be honest, all of everything here is novel enough that tsurumaru's temporarily put aside any misgivings he has about being dragged from where he belongs (again) to let himself be pleasantly surprised by all of these movies that he's only ever heard about. after the first two, he learns to go into the viewings without any preconceived notions, and therefore has only been pleasantly (for a given value of pleasant, tsurumaru is the kind of person who think that cute kittens are as pleasantly surprising as getting beheaded only 90% of the way) surprised up until now. everything is so new. he's letting himself enjoy it because otherwise he'd be incredibly disconcerted by the fact that he's alone in a strange place once again without a master or purpose.

another pleasant surprise: a head of pink, as pink as the cotton candy in his hands, sitting on a bench. he sneaks up from behind with a mischievous grin, only making his presence known by clapping his hands over souza's eyes (he stuck the cotton candy in his hood stick-end first-- hoods are so useful, you know) and laughing.
]

Guess who!
prehensible: (i never wanted you to see)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ souza actually does jump (and maybe shriek a little) at the sudden hands over his eyes and the voice right behind him, but there's seriously only one person in the entire world (universe?) with such a distressing habit. (surely only one..) ]

Ts-Tsurumaru-san?

[ he reaches up with slender hands, pulling the older sword's away from his eyes and tilting his head back to peer up at him. for a moment or two, he's just so glad to see him, to not be alone here-- but then he's reminded of this unfortunate tendency to surprise everyone and he frowns slightly. ]

Tsurumaru-san, please stop doing that..
bloodcrane: (pic#8887257)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ ta-da, the one and only. for his part, tsurumaru's also glad that there's a familiar face amongst all this, and it shows in the way he pulls his hands back and grins warmly grins at souza.

either that, or he's just extraordinarily pleased that he's surprised someone. you never know, with tsurumaru.
]

Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it, you know, you weren't prepared at all.

[ anyway, what's certain here is that he's never sorry. pulling his cotton candy out of his hood again (he has some now stuck to his hair, but he's happily unaware (or uncaring) of this fact. ] You know what else is surprising? This candy, it's the same shade of pink as your hair. Have you seen anything like this before?
prehensible: (don't struggle too much now)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ he mentally sighs, then shifts over to give the other sword room to sit. he gets a slightly suspicious look at the comment, though, mismatched eyes flicking from tsurumaru to the candy. ]

That's candy..? It looks like a cloud. [ that answers that question. ] And I don't think my hair is that bright.. [ for someone like tsurumaru, who's all white, maybe it is..

he finally lets the sigh escape, reaching up to pick the candy out of the other sword's hair. ]
I'm afraid that pink is not your colour at all, Tsurumaru-san.
bloodcrane: (pic#8907943)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ crane gets babysat by flamingo, actual news at eleven. tsurumaru, for his part, simply smiles and lets souza do pluck candy out of his hair. par for the course when it comes to souza, and he thinks, privately, that maybe the younger sword needs a bit of familiarity right now. he savours his candy, letting the pink cloud melt on his tongue. ]

Nor loneliness on you, Souza-san. [ he says this gently, but with wistful look to the quirk of his lips. he pulls at another clump of cotton candy from the stick. ] Has our dear sage turned up anywhere?
prehensible: (watch it invade me)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ he colours at the comment, glancing briefly away to hide it. .. ah. he hadn't realized it was so apparent. but then, he supposes it's no secret to the others that he battles depression even on the best days. and tsurumaru would understand, if anyone would. their situations weren't the same, but similar in many ways.

he hesitates, then shifts closer, leaning a little into the older sword's side. ]


Scaring me was still mean, Tsurumaru-san. [ his mouth turns down into a brief pout, but his expression sobers again at the question. ] .. No. Not that I've seen. It seems that we're ownerless here.
bloodcrane: (pic#8887247)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ to be honest, mikazuki would've been so much better in this situation -- unlike tsurumaru, he has an actual instinct for caring for the younger swords. but as far as he's seen, they might be the only two here, which means he ought to do his part.

he laughs a little, mischievous.
]

You even shrieked a little. It was cute. [ he holds out his clump of cotton candy to souza, ostensibly for him to try some as well. a bit of a dramatic sigh. ] Ah, well. Surprise, surprise. How many times has it been now, I wonder.
prehensible: (the mark you left)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
[ well, tsurumaru's doing all right so far, at least in the fact that he's sitting still to let souza lean against him.

he clicks his tongue at the teasing, expression briefly embarrassed as he accepts the bright pink confection with cautious fingers. .. it really is suspiciously pink.. not that pink is a suspicious colour to souza, for apparent reasons, but on a candy..

still, he looks pleased as he finally tries it, startled by the way it melts on his tongue. ]
.. Oh. This isn't bad at all.

[ but then the expression fades and he sighs, licking his thumb clean. ] It isn't good for either of us to count, Tsurumaru-san. It would only be too sad to think of.
bloodcrane: (pic#8887247)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ and if tsurumaru were a little more honest with himself, he'd admit that being leaned on isn't so bad, especially since it's equally grounding for him now that they've both been displaced. he considers ruffling souza's hair to take the sentimentality out of the gesture, but decides against it, because his fingers are still sticky and clumping up the pink sword's hair is hardly the sort of surprise he likes to go for.

instead, he watches the rise and ebb of emotions on the younger sword's face, and reciprocates with a wistful smile of his own.
] Oh, I'd like to think of it as a new opportunity. Maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised by where this takes us.

[ they have human-looking bodies now, after all. they have the ability, on some level, to choose who they belong to now. it likely wasn't what the sage had intended when they'd been materialized, but nonetheless, it's a bit like a gift. ]
prehensible: (even at the end of the world)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ no, that wouldn't have been a particularly nice surprise (then again, most of tsurumaru's surprises are at least mildly upsetting). but he has a sort of point, in a way. technically, he supposes they do have a little more freedom here. but is it really souza's place to deny someone who comes to claim him..? ]

I hope so. [ it's a quiet murmur, but after a moment, he straightens up again a little to pluck another piece of candy off the cloud. ]

I have to admit, it's very strange not seeing Mikazuki-san here. You're so often together.. [ understandably so, given their respective ages. ] I hope he and the others are well.
bloodcrane: (pic#8901202)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ wow no his surprises are clearly fun for everyone involved...! mostly himself. there's nothing more gratifying than hearing a shout, or a scream, or seeing someone careen head-first into a snowbank. and now that they're here, war doesn't seem to be looming over their shoulders, either. he has to actually take a moment to wonder if that's for good or for ill.

without war, there's nothing but peace, and peace is empty time that needs to be whiled away somehow. it's almost a daunting prospect.

a snort, inelegant, because tsurumaru is nothing like his appearance.
]

Have you ever seen that old man not well? They're all hardy, sturdy swords. I'm sure they're perfectly fine charging down a battlefield somewhere. [ he'll just reach over to grab a piece of your popcorn, and pops it into his mouth. oh. ] Oh, goodness. Is that... corn?
prehensible: (oh sunlight haze)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ you're going to give mikazuki a heart attack one day, tsurumaru. the first sword to ever go into cardiac arrest. he's too old for these surprises...

it's a daunting prospect for souza, too. he can't even begin to imagine the schemes tsurumaru will think up to keep from being bored. how many people will he have to apologize to on this crane's behalf in just the first week..? ]


.. Ah well. You know I fret over Sayo. [ he's a tough little tanto, but that's exactly the reason he frets. sayo's been used for such ugly things, and he deserves better.

still, he's distracted from the worry by the older sword's comment. his expression brightens, a smile curving up onto his mouth again. ]
Yes! Isn't it amazing? I didn't know that they could do this sort of thing.
bloodcrane: (pic#8887257)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-08 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ nonsense, he's seen that old man curbstomb tank his way out of a sortie that leaves everyone else wheezing. he can take a surprise or seventeen...

though it seems that it's in souza's nature to fret. he'd known this, back at the encampment, but seeing it here is harder when there is nothing he can really do but to distract souza from it-- after all, he's of the opinion that there is no use in wallowing over what can't be changed.

they ought to keep their spirits up, that's what he decides. therefore, tsurumaru grabs another handful of popcorn, and rolls the kernels between his fingers thoughtfully.
] And they're so light, like air. You know, I wonder what would happen if you had a whole vat of these and you pushed someone in. Do you think they'd float?
prehensible: (i never wanted you to see)

[personal profile] prehensible 2015-03-08 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he is a surprisingly sturdy and scary old man when he needs to be..

he lifts his index finger to wag it warningly. ]
Don't get any ideas, Tsurumaru-san. I can't imagine where you'd get that much corn to make that much popcorn, anyway. [ he hesitates, as if uncertain whether he should even be indulging such a question even to this extent, before lifting a kernel and pressing it between his index finger and thumb. ]

.. Anyway, I suppose it would depend on how densely you packed it..
bloodcrane: (pic#8887254)

[personal profile] bloodcrane 2015-03-09 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ they all are, tbh. sturdy, strong and scary when they need to be-- when they need to protect what they were meant to protect.

also despite souza's warning, the glint in tsurumaru's eyes say it all: he's getting ideas, and the fact that souza's even talking about it is only adding fuel to the flames (though lbr here, even if souza started a list of 100 reasons why you should not terrorize cerealia with popcorn, he'd probably still go ahead and do it).
]

Densely... oh, I like this idea. You see, I could pack all this corn into a dense, neat, person-sized rectangle, and put bed covers over it. And then, when a person lies down--

[ he makes a 'wah' gesture with his hands, sending some cotton candy drifting into the air. ] Surprise! It's not a futon, it's just popcorn.