//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I [ 00 00 ]
MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A
Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.
If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II [ 0000 ]
LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B
A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.
But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C
Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.
This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV [ 0000 ]
DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D
Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.
Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ]
YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z
This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.
While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]
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Gaius | Fire Emblem: Awakening
... We don't have those 'slushie' things back home. Could I get it in the biggest size you have? Thanks-- I'll also take those sugar-covered chocolate chips and the stretchy candy ropes and the chocolate dipped pretzels? Popcorn? No thanks. Oh, and could you make it two of everything?
[ You might be incredulously staring at this weirdo who's piling a giant slushie combined with several boxes of candy into his arm. He's even wearing lollipops on his shirt. Okay, fuck this guy. Fuck him and the candy-coated horse he rode in on. He might notice your stares of concern and possible disgust, so he's looking your way just now.
As always, his expression is deadpan and his eyebrow is only slightly raised. ]
What? They were out of the candy floss.
Why o' Clock
[ So being from a world that pre-dates movie theaters, he's not going to be very interested in the wonders of film beyond using it as a reason to eat candy for a couple of hours in the dark. When the cheesy film starts playing, he all but starts rolling his eyes at the cutesy Yard-door people and their various acts of good deeds. Just as he's starting to long for the antics of Dick Angry, he's shocked to see a vivid memory of the circus displayed prominently on screen.
He drops a sugar-coated Choco Candy Drop from his hands as he looks around, trying to see if anyone was seeing what he did. He was a private guy, okay! And letting people see his weird outing with the Prince of Ylisse? Well, it wouldn't end badly, but he still didn't want them to see it.
He'll lean over to whoever's next to him, and whisper quietly. ]
Are you seeing what I'm seeing? If so--... impressive ham juggling, isn't it? I gave that guy a tip when we were there. Chrom looked like he'd never seen anything like it before. Well, granted, he hadn't...
[ That story is cut short when a robot nails him in the knee with a wooden paddle, causing him to lose even more candy to the disgusting, sticky void that is the theater floor. ]
-- Cripes!
Lobby
Really, Gaius, does your gluttony know no bounds? [Well, at least it looks like he paid for it.]
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What, are you upset I got the last box of Sugar Hoopy-O's?
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I'm quite sure that I want nothing to do with anything called such. The name sounds awfully common, don't you think? [No, she's happy with her box of cookies.]
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[ He'll glance over to the theater, all displaying fairly... interesting looking movies. Granted, when you're from a world where the closest you'd get to one is a play, all movies look interesting. ]
Which one were you planning to see, Twinkles?
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[Honestly, the tech is part of the reason Maribelle's here. This is really cool.] I had thought to pay patronage to My Petite Equestrian Experience. It should be interesting, there are so few animals here that I wonder if any of them know what horses truly are.
[And horses are great... She already misses horses.]
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[ He sips on the sugar slurry that is a slushie almost contemplatively. Sure, the horses thing seems kinda boring, but if Twinkles likes it... there are worse movies to go into. ]
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[Gaius is a Shepherd and has somehow won Chrom's favour, so Maribelle is willing to tolerate him to a degree. But really...]
Do you honestly think that a woman of my breeding could be seen galavanting about with a known criminal?
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[ He's not sure if that's enough to convince her, though. She has a lot of reasons to not like him, some she doesn't even know of yet. If she wants, though, he can sit a few seats down from her. More room for his candy. ]
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But all the same, I must insist that you keep your distance. For the sake of my poor temper if nothing else. [And with that Maribelle spins around, hair flying out behind her as she heads into the theatre. Sorry, Gaius, but maybe horses will put her in a good mood for you??]
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Crivens, are all the women I get involved with so high strung? [ It's said more to himself, and quiet enough that she might not hear. Nonetheless, he'll cart his goods into the theater behind her, and sit one seat behind her, and a few to the left. This pony show better be something, or he'll spend the whole thing ruminating on that personal guilt. ]
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... Okay, maybe Gangrel. Kidnappers don't count.
She's so distracted by her
sulkingthoughts that it's a whole minute into the orgy before Maribelle realises just what is going on on the screen in front of her. It's very clear when this happens because fifteen seconds later, she screams.]no subject
He'll make his way to the aisle while carefully balancing all his snacks (even if he's horrified, he can't just leave them behind. It'd be cruel!) and gestures to Maribelle. ]
Come on, this way!
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This- What kind of obscene dark magic-
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He's not sheltered at all, but that was too much, too fast. ]
Dark magic is right.
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She's bright red by the time she makes it outside and looking furious.]
... Just what kind of establishment is this? For Naga's sake, it's the middle of the day! Children could attend without knowing any better!
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[ He's actually a little red himself, because while he's not as disturbed by it, it's certainly a lot for someone of his time period. Full on nudity and bodies slapping and all that. It'd be something to joke about with someone else, but with Maribelle? ]
You think you're gonna be okay after that? It's not something for someone so delicate, that's for sure.
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[Anything described as "Roman-esque" is gonna be a shocker, no matter how familiar you are with the lower rings of society. Ylissean brothels are certainly not so crass (don't ask Maribelle how she knows that).]
I'm perfectly fine, darling, it was merely a shock- oh, but poor Lord Chrom! If he knew there were such slanderous depictions of him and Robin out in the world he would be horrified!
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[ He thinks on that with some amusement-- the robots would have probably gone nuts, but watching that screen go up in flames would be the highlight of his movie-watching experience. Surely all films can't be this bad? ]
I bet that's probably put you way out of the mood for any more movie watching, right? I'm tempted to check out something else, but...
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[But ugh.] Gaius, surely even you cannot be willing to go back in there! That was horrifically inappropriate!
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We don't have this kind of stuff back home. Once everything gets sorted out, we might end up regretting missed opportunities.
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... Which were you thinking of attending?
why o'clock
Nowi turns in her seat, curling her knees up under her so she can actually look over the seat at the person behind her. Even in the dark she can make out who it is and Nowi beams.]
Hi, Gaius! Wow, that's a lot of candy.
[It's not a surprise of course, but good lord. Before Nowi can comment on the candy further that strange robot shows up and smacks Gaius in the knee. Nowi tips her head and watches, having lost all interest in the movie at this point.]
Are you okay? That looked like it hurt.
[...she says, as she does nothing to help.]
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[ He phrases it like that to get her attention, but the robot smacks him yet again before he can say anything else. This time, it was in the knee, and he holds it in pain while the robot continues screeching some filthy direct orders for Gaius to get on his knees and kiss the robot's exhaust vent, like the dirty little bitch he is. He doesn't understand any of this, just that he spilled some of his candy and that whatever robots are, they are the worst. ]