//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

[reparator]

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE Mystery Science Theatre -3000 Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery. For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings. (( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. )) "GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING. TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE: MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C DECEASE HARDER II RATED D YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE THEATER I [ 0000 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see. If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER II [ 0000 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese. But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER III [ 0000 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias. This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. THEATER IV [ 0000 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia. Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !) BONUS - THEATER V [ whyo'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any. While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself. Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer. [ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Comments

[multiglyphs]

[ get ready to be entertained, mercury, because if there's one thing weiss schnee is really good at, it's making a scene. ]

To put it lightly.

[ the haughtiness and offense in her tone doesn't simmer, even as she turns to address her would-be savior. she recognizes him instantly, of course, because she'd be a terrible (self-appointed) student representative if she didn't, and though it's a relief to see a familiar face, her attention swings back to the angry android before long.

it proceeds to call her another name that she does little more than purse her lips at, arms already crossed over her chest, chin tipped up defiantly. when it waves a paddle in its robotic arms, weiss just looks further insulted. it can't even discipline her properly. what a disgrace. ]

I'm a benevolent soul, though — I'm more than willing to forget discussing this with your manager if I'm given a sincere apology.

[prefersthemeat]

Theater IV

[MOVIES! No, seriously, movies are great. But, you know what would make these a lot better? Kung Fu or Bruce Lee or... Well, Chie guesses that if you're stuck here, you might as well go ahead and try and enjoy something. Playing ViViD gets old after a while.

So, no one who knows her will be surprised that she's picked the action movie with the most explosions.

And just when she's getting into it, she sees the time where she tried to talk to a boy and got totally ignored because Yukiko was walking out of the school building. She lets out a gasp of shock before it goes back to the flimsily cobbled together plot. And then there's her Shadow in all her messy glory, declaring all of Chie's dirty secrets for everyone in the theater to hear. It was bad enough that Yosuke and their Leader saw it the first time.]

Is this someone's idea of a joke? Because it's not funny at all! Who is responsible for this?!

Bonus Theater V

[Sappy, feel good movies aren't normally her thing, but the last time had been a wash. This one isn't bad. It's actually kinda good.

Until she drops an armband from her jacket pocket. And her view is obstructed by some creepy robot with a...paddle?]

YOU FILTHY WHORE! PREPARE FOR PUNISHMENT!

Huh? What?

LITTERING IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE!

this is the only cr we're allowed to have

[multiglyphs]

[ it doesn't take weiss long to swing back around and shout at the voice in the dark. ]

It's a terrible movie and you should be ashamed!!

[reuser]

Boring?

[ Pyrrha sounds genuinely confused by the question, eyes flicking back between Mercury and the screen. With the auditorium’s lights darkened to nothing, shadows are thrown across his face and hers, lights and darks from the screen illuminating every curve and contour.

Without needing to give it much thought, she waves a hand in a telling no gesture. The problem wasn’t that the scenes of her life failed to hold her interest. Entirely the opposite. ]

I guess it’s just too familiar.

[ (Feel free, Mercury, to assume she’s talking about the robot’s adventures.) ]

I’m fine, though. Thank you for asking.

[reuser]

[ After a moment of thought, Pyrrha grabs Jaune’s hand and runs...






...straight into the ladies’ room! Sorry, bro. ]

[millionth]

Sorry! This robot is — waugh!

[in his haste to avoid being paddled or some other awful fate, he's definitely tripped over his own feet and slid down the steps at the side of the theatre. on his face, which is both kind of painful and very disgusting.]

Get back here, you little — [luckily whatever name the robot decided to call him is drowned out by a swell of dramatic music, keeping this scene appropriately rated g.]

[reuser]

[ It would be rude to not accept a gift and so, Pyrrha gingerly takes the offered bucket and holds it in her lap. Noticeably, she holds off on eating any of it. He may feel more settled in a few moments and decide he wants it back. So, like a golden retriever, she waits patiently and obediently for that moment to come.

His words give her pause, however. Had it truly been so awful? Jaune hadn’t rejected her outright, he had just been oblivious. -- Her stomach only twists further, joined by a knotting at her breastbone. ]

It’s not so bad, is it?

[ The words are said to him, even if they’re to comfort herself. Like him, Pyrrha has not yet realized they are seeing - and talking about! - two different scenarios. ]

A person can’t always control how they feel. Even if you do something, and it goes awry, at least you put yourself out there... right?

IV

[maple_syrup_can]

Meanwhile, Canada is concentrating on not looking around. He doesn't want to meet anyone's eye over any of these scenes.

This was supposed to be an action movie! Why are things like this-!

Finally (long into the ordeal) he decides that escaping this outbalances the rudeness of leaving the theater during a movie. So he gets up and shuffles his way past people, murmuring apology after apology... Then he suddenly stumbles and bumps into someone.

"I'm sorry!" Looking up, he's a bit surprised to see a familiar face. And also, more than a bit embarrassed (one might say border-line mortified). Belgium has been watching all this? Oh, no...

[reuser]

[ Pyrrha has always responded well to authority. He creates a line and she continues it, steadfastly at his back like any possible soldier he might command. The lobby is brighter than the auditorium had been and she’s squinting a little as they step into it, but her attention doesn’t move from her rescuer. ]

You’re right. I guess I was just - embarrassed.

[millionth]

[hiro manages to buy a little time by vaulting over a trash can, which about expends his quota for ability to look remotely cool for the day.]

Crazy robot! Way too serious about cl —

You, [booms the robotic voice. hiro cringes.]

— gotta run!

[prefersthemeat]

[Chie hears a familiar voice and heads over to see if that is who she thinks it is. What stops her is the huge robot calling her friend all sorts of names.]

What the hell? Rise-chan? What's going on here?

bonus!

[reuser]

[ With a flick of her hand, Pyrrha sends the metal robot sliding across the floor and away from Weiss - ]

They're very rude, aren't they? -- Are you alright?

[millionth]

Probably more like a few.

[his frown is a thoughtful one, not an unhappy one, so it's easy to return belph's smile before he's looking at the screen critically.]

So you can see it too...which means I'm not crazy. [always good to know] ...but why my memories?

[he assumes they're seeing the same thing! and in that case, why single him out?]

[millionth]

[his jaw pretty much dropped the moment riku appeared, and it's with an effort he shuts it now. he's quiet for maybe half a second, all wide eyes — first staring at riku's blade, then slowly migrating up to his face — before he answers.]

I'm fine...wow. That was awesome. [this is definitely an appropriate reaction] How'd you do that? And where'd your sword go? Where you do keep it? Wait, is it contractible? Convenient...and really cool. I've never seen anything like it.

[thiS IS JUST LIKE HIS VIDEO GAMES!!! more importantly, what is this cool tech and how does he learn it??

see what you've done, riku.]

[deontology]

[Understandably so, really. Sousei's not surprised, because even if it doesn't show in his face or tone, he was also really embarrassed by that whole fiasco.

But for now--]

Most things are not as they first appear here. The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be.

[reuser]

You mean it wasn’t really an—

[ You can do it, Pyrrha. You can say the word. ]

—orgy?

[deontology]

[He was mostly talking about the ponies but sure.]

... Likely, it was all all created by holograms.

[Or at least, that's what he's been gathering from every other event.]

[reuser]

[ ...well, now she knows that! Her tone, when she speaks again, is mildly affronted but mostly confused. ]

That seems like an odd use for their technology.

II - (hello yes i am here with the horrible)

[tsuburaya_kun]

Ah-!

[You might have missed this one as you came out of the theater, Yuan. When Mitsuhiko went in himself, he certainly hadn't expected what he got. He hardly has any 'properly romantic' memories at this age, but he's a kid who has crushes, and that was evidently enough for the movie to latch onto. It was one thing when he was being told that his world was gone and that he was more or less the one whose shoulders its fate was sitting on; he could cope with that, knowing that there was a hope, and latching onto it.]

But it's entirely different when there are faces of his friends there, being blatantly displayed in the cold distant reaches of death, and after fleeing the theater he'd since been sitting outside, curled up with his popcorn bag folded closed at the top.

He's doing his best to make it look like he wasn't crying, at this point, but it's kind of hard.] Um...

'Mocked'..? [Asking that at least, might take his mind off things.]

pharos | persona 3

[arcanaofdeath]

theater iii

[At first, the movie had been entertaining. Puzzling, certainly, but also amusing. A lot of lights, many grand speeches and dramatic gestures. It was all about leaving a huge impact on whoever was watching and listening to this movie, making them want to either join or fight the people invading earth.

Such a human instinct to fight against what was inevitable.

It made them unique but the attempts at fighting were always feeble at best. Humans wanted to live, to breathe and continue the fight and it was a notion Pharos had slowly come to understand.

But there was no escaping death, no escaping the moment they would all die.

The point was driven across by the pictures mingling with the movie Minato struggling and raising his Evoker again and again, summoning Persona after Persona while he fought against what was inevitable, his friends falling one by one until only Minato was left, bleeding and slowly realizing that he'd failed and then

Pharos wishes he could still feel detached. He wishes he didn't understand. He knows there is nothing he can do to prevent the fall.

His friend will die.

Silently, Pharos slips from the movie seat and pads out, leaving the door open for whoever will stumble out after him.]


theater v

[After the previous movie, Pharos had been prepared for other unusual bouts of scenes of destruction and death. He wasn't quite prepared for what this movie has to offer. Kind things, little things. Listening and helping and laughing with them, picking up this and repairing that.

Would they do it if there was no profit in it for them?

Will they stop once the task has been fulfilled and the negative feelings are gone and then carry on like nothing happened? Like a mother blowing against her child's wound to soothe the pain but not doing anything else.

It isn't until Pharos hear Minato's short replies to the questions he asked long ago that he understands. Minato was kind to him. His first friend, the person he'd been waiting for for a long time. The person who had harbored him and sustained him and sheltered his fragmented self until Pharos had been able to piece all parts of himself back together. Minato's sleepy eyes staring at him as Pharos talks and ponders and smiles.

A precious person. Pharos' only precious person.

...Would the kindness the people displayed in the movie have such a lasting effect on others as Minato has had on Pharos? Thoughtful, Pharos gets up and walks past the BDSM bots without being bothered thanks to looking like a ten year old kid not littering or leaving anything else behind.

A noise at the room's entrance makes Pharos look back curiously though. Did the bots find a different victim instead?]

Shigeru Miyata | Original Character

[mysophobic]

Theater I

[ Okay, well, this is was the most disturbing movie he's seen in awhile. Shigeru is just...hiding behind gloved hands at that orgy part because oh my god what is even going on?! It was so innocent and then this happens. What sort of messed up theater is this? He hopes there aren't any children in the room. His face is a nice shade of pure red though. He's just going to get up and walk out very briskly and uncomfortably now, YEAH.

Sorry if he bumps into you, he is just so done. ]

Theater V Bonus

[ Not as terrible as the last one he went to see. This one actually makes him a bit happier than the others. All these movies were strange and he hopes he never has to partake in anything like this ever again. The feeling is even more prominent when an angry robot comes up to him. ]

You filthy little whore! How could you litter like that?! Get on your knees as ask for forgiveness this instant!

[ Shigeru is just so confused and offended. Of all the people to accuse of littering. He just holds up his hands and silently shakes his head. No. No. Not his fault! He doesn't even eat in places like this because it's physically uncomfortable for him. hjghurg someone please help him!? ]

souza samonji | touken ranbu

[prehensible]

ticket booths;
[ an extremely pink man(?) in rather elaborate dress, carrying what looks like a katana, is standing a little back from the booths and peering curiously up at the selections offered. he looks.. a little lost, actually, and if anyone were to ask souza, he'd agree that he is. having been part of an exhibit for his (arguably) most famous owner for some time, and then manifested by the saniwa, he's aware of what movies are, but he's never actually been to one. and these all have such strange titles. how is he supposed to choose one when he has no idea what any of them are really about..? ]


theater i;
[ he eventually settles on horses, because at least he's familiar enough with horses. it's.. not at all what he might have expected, though, and as the strange, colourful, talking ponies begin to be slaughtered off, souza's face quickly drains of colour. he finds his hands going to cover his mouth to keep the distressed noises from escaping. why would anyone want to watch something like this?!

but it only gets worse from there, and he can only sit through the orgy for a few moments before he has to duck his head, shading his eyes from the screen and looking a little ill. he glances furtively to the person next to him, voice piping up in a polite, shaky murmur. ]

I thought.. movies were intended to be entertaining..?


lobby;
[ after that experience, souza is honestly too spooked to attempt to watch another movie. instead, he finds a bench and settles on it, letting his heart slowly stop hammering in his chest. he's been around a long time, and while it's been centuries since he's been used much on the battlefield, even so, he's not easily unsettled. but why would anyone glorify such senseless butchering? and what happened to decency? he's not certain something like that would even be shown in the lowliest brothel in the red light district.

when he's feeling a little better, he does find himself trying the popcorn, though, expression lighting up with startled pleasure at the taste. it's certainly.. different, but no stranger than some of the things the saniwa has introduced them to. ]

This is delightful. [ he tilts the bag toward himself, peering into it curiously. ] How is it made..? Perhaps Sayo would like it..


other;
[ or hit me with your best shot? ]

[deontology]

[... yeah, about all of that... you've got a lot to learn about this place, pyrrha.]

They tend to waste their technology on significant wastes of time. This is the norm, not the exception.

[dicks]

I just noticed Sousei's name field...

[reuser]

[ She’s listening attentively, much like a protégé obliging her sensei. This is all still a little confusing to her, but Pyrrha makes a valiant attempt at wrapping her mind around everything. ]

I suppose, next time, I should just stay home. [ It’s said with a quirk of her lips, half a smile. ]

[compossible]

[And she just shrugs and sits in the seat next to him, equally nonchalant.]

It tastes like cardboard here anyway.

[whatever, it'd be worth it.]

Besides, it isn't as if there's anything better to do at the moment. If we try to leave the theater, we might be stampeded to death by the crowd just outside.