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C E R E A L I A ★ M O D S。 ([personal profile] reparator) wrote in [community profile] ioculus2015-03-07 10:20 am
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//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

//TESTDRIVE7.0.EXE

Mystery Science Theatre -3000


Welcome to Cerealia's latest attraction. In an effort to branch into other forms of entertainment, CERES has been slowly patching together films from various worlds to show in its brand new movie theater. So, grab a friend, sit back, and enjoy the newest batch of imported films with a nice bucket of popcorn. As you'll notice from the long line outside, it's the latest rage in the colony, and those tired of the same virtual battles in ViViD are eager to enjoy a little change in scenery.

For those eager to participate, you will find yourself being lead into the lobby by one of the many robotic theater employees. Showing today are five special films, and in the lobbies are various screens advertising them through the movie's digital avatar, Mnemosyne. Allow her to take you on a virtual tour of CERES' finest theatrical offerings.

(( P.S. no actual actors/actresses appear in any of the films. It's all done through advanced CGi-technology and voice acting. ))
"GOOD EVENING, MOVIE-GOERS. I AM MNEMOSYNE, YOUR GUIDE FOR THIS EVENING.

AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE SEVERAL CONCESSIONS FOR YOU. PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE CONCESSIONS, BUT DO NOT MAKE A MESS. THE THEATER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO TAKE ACTION FOR LITTERING.

TONIGHT'S FILMS ARE THE MUCH LAUDED AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED FILMS HAND-PICKED BY JULIUS VINCERE:

MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE RATED A

LARGE ADVENTURER 7 RATED B

THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON RATED C

DECEASE HARDER II RATED D

YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS RATED Z

PLEASE MAKE YOUR SELECTION AT THE BOOTHS IN THE FRONT OF THE LOBBY THEN FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS TO THE APPROPRIATE THEATER. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR EVENING."

//SCENARIOS.EXE
THEATER I
[ 00:00 ] MY PETITE EQUESTRIAN EXPERIENCE - RATED A

Advertised as a delightful tale of ponies discovering magic and friendship, this is a must-see! For adults that is. The ponies are killed within the first ten minutes, and then the rest of the run time is filled with a celebratory orgy of Roman-esque proportions. There are no mentions of ponies after the initial scene. They are neither seen nor mourned nor heard from. There are only naked, gyrating bodies as far as the eye can see.

If you manage to sit through the horror long enough, you will notice a certain something in between the moaning. Is that your face on one of the protags? Is it a beloved family member or a friend? You will find that spliced between the scenes are cherished and innocent childish memories now being soiled by passionate cries of pleasure. Enjoy the new memory, your poor, sweet summer child. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER II
[ 00:00 ] LARGE ADVENTURER 7 - RATED B

A touching tale of dealing with loss and more loss. This film is about a giant robot and his pet human that gets eradicated in the Third Robotic Genocide, leaving behind just a human carcass. The giant robot clings to the carcass and cries robotic tears until finally he chucks the carcass into a river full of carcasses and decides to go on a deep quest in search of cheese.

But spliced between this tale of woe, viewers will see images of themselves caught in a romantic memory. A first kiss, perhaps? A first love-making session? A first crush? A desired one will also have their face molded on top of all the carcasses as they flow away. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

THEATER III
[ 00:00 ] THE RETALIATORS: ERA OF RADICALON - RATED C

Agent Dick Angry takes it upon himself to assemble a team of miscreant aliens to invade the hell out of "Planet Earth." The aliens include Zorn, an intelligent toaster; Crisis, a blue-skinned beauty that turns purple when she's aroused; Trish, a rogue miniature ficus with a criminal record; and General Cerealia, a handsome, ripped man who beats evil-doers with his laptop and who looks suspiciously like CERES' programmer, Elias.

This adventurous romp will feature the tragic memories of death interweaving with the destruction of the "Planet Earth." Those who attend will see first-hand the memories of their own worlds slowly being demolished before their eyes and all their loved ones screaming in agony. Then it'll loop itself again and again for the last hour of the film. Enjoy! This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.
THEATER IV
[ 00:00 ] DECEASE HARDER II - RATED D

Jack McJack is a cop who is having none of your shit. In this action film, he will ride around on a velociraptor and go around punching evil-doers and detonating them with land mines. If you want all the violence in the world, this is the film for you. Watch as every second is filled with pointless explosions and every curse word in all the known languages in Cerealia.

Of course, spliced between every action scene will be every embarrassing moment of your life being played out for you and only you. Or is it? Start sweating and looking in every direction as you begin to wonder if everyone else can see that time you tripped and fell on your senpai almost kissing him (sacre bleu D= !)
BONUS - THEATER V
[ why:o'clock ] YARD-DOOR PEOPLE OF QUESTIONABLE MORALS - RATED Z

This is a touching film about tenderness and coming together to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. The Yard-Door people run into danger when an evil megalord starts polluting the air with negative feelings. The Yard-Door people must band together and save the world through kindness. They will go and help their neighbors get across the street, rake up leaves from their lawns, donate canned food to the poor, and collect toys for children who do not have any.

While this film will draw tears from your eyes, you will see happy memories. The happiest that can be mustered. They will be spliced in with the scenes in the movie, occurring side-by-side with all the smiles and fuzzy feelings leaking off the screens. This will only be visible to the viewer himself/herself.

Also, beware! This film contains the angriest of Theater Cleaning Robots. Dropping anything on the floor will result in a bit of a flogging with a wooden paddle and a robot calling you a dirty slut and claiming that you like it. Yes, BDSM robots will not take your bad behavior. You better bend over and start apologizing for being such a filthy, little theater-goer.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the meme. ]

//RUN.EXE
Welcome to CEREALIA's seventh Test Drive Meme. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's arrival experience and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!


pixelacious: (FIGHT ► nail shoot.)

[personal profile] pixelacious 2015-03-13 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ HOW ABOUT NOT. AndrAIa almost rolls her eyes, but doesn't quite. ]

Can't say I didn't warn you!

[ And then she will just. Skewer the thing with her trident.

That was enough of a warning, right. ]
faestra: (jigga wuh)

[personal profile] faestra 2015-03-13 10:03 am (UTC)(link)
[It was a cat!? And it looked real, too... what the hell. She's staring after Pharaoh's great escape while Judai fumbles with his things. But then she turns back around when he talks again-]

Huh? Oh!

[He dropped all his stuff... it is maybe 10% her fault so she hurries to help scoop up the random CDs and things. It's all covered in cat hair though.]

Sheesh, does your cat usually sit in there with all that? ... Actually, what is that? A duel disk?

[It has all the card slots and everything. But SO RETRO.]
spiritpearls: art by <user name="suites" site="tumblr.com"> (DREAMY ► how romantic!)

[personal profile] spiritpearls 2015-03-13 10:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ The robot sparks and lets out a final, whirring "DIrtY slUT BAby yOU LIKE THAT" before dying it's well-deserved death.

Pearl gives a little clap for AndrAIa. ]


That was amazing, miss! Thank you.

[ She doesn't even care if they get kicked out a theater for destroying a cleaning bot, this theater is weird anyway. ]
pixelacious: (LISTEN ► aside. what up bro.)

[personal profile] pixelacious 2015-03-13 10:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ Yeah, about that. On the off-chance leaving a robot carcass ALSO counts as littering... ]

No problem. But we should probably escape before we get threatened with deletion or arrest.

[ Not like AndrAIa thinks she can't handle a few robot sprites, but hey. No need to go looking for trouble...Matrix has that more than covered for the both of them. ]

This way! [ C'mon Pearls, let's go somewhere not crazy. ] I'm AndrAIa, by the way.
spiritpearls: (SMILE ► pleased)

[personal profile] spiritpearls 2015-03-13 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, right! [ "Deletion"? Does she mean "detention"? Either way, Pearl will follow AndrAIa to somewhere not crazy. ]

Nice to meet you, Miss AndrAIa! [ Is the AI enunciated, real question. ] I'm Pearl Fey. [ She gives a small, polite bow. ]
pixelacious: (HANDS ► pretty please.)

[personal profile] pixelacious 2015-03-13 10:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ An-dray-yuh. It's not at all enunciated, it sounds like a normal name. Unless she types it out, you wouldn't know the difference! And AndrAIa will just lead them out of the theater, not putting her trident back until they are well out of the way. When they are, she puts it back into little form and snaps it to her thigh once again. ]

Nice to meet you, Pearl. [ A bow, huh? Well, AndrAIa will just copy that back at her. Maybe it's part of this game's - or system's - customs. ] Are you from this system?

[ ...........or game. she's still not sure which... ]
spiritpearls: art by <user name="384902" site="pixiv.com"> (SHOW ► look at this magazine)

[personal profile] spiritpearls 2015-03-13 10:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ In that case, there was no enunciation. Whatsoever. ]

This... system...? [ Is this some new modern slang she hasn't heard yet... She must mean town or something, Pearl reasons. ] I'm from Kurain Village... it's two hours from Los Angeles by train!

[ does... does that explain anything... ]
pixelacious: (SMILE ► aside.)

[personal profile] pixelacious 2015-03-13 10:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ For a moment, there's a hint of surprise. ]

Los - ? [ No, wait. ] For a nano, I thought you said "Lost Angles".

[ Alas. ]

I'm originally from the Treasure of Atlantis, myself, but otherwise I'm from Mainframe.
spiritpearls: art by <user name="238674" site="pixiv.com"> (SURPRISED ► oh!)

[personal profile] spiritpearls 2015-03-13 11:01 am (UTC)(link)
[ Nano... Lost Angles... what. Half of what AndrAIa's saying is going right over her head. ]

Oh! I've never heard of towns with names like that. Are you from Europe? [ Maybe they do that in other countries, how should Pearl know. ]
pixelacious: (WHAT ► say what now.)

[personal profile] pixelacious 2015-03-13 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Sorry Pearl..."nano" is more or less a "second". Which AndrAIa would count as a day or longer........ ]

Europe? Uh, no. [ ????? She's played games with that sort of place, though. ] I'm originally from a game cube. Nooot a town.
outstep: (64)

[personal profile] outstep 2015-03-13 11:13 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, I'm a superhero. Gotta uphold the rules.

[Any attempt at sincerity is shot by the way he carelessly abandons his own popcorn on the bench, earning a few glares from moviegoers who've probably had all the robot drama they can take.

Ugh. Bad movies and subpar junkfood. That's no fate to abandon a kid to. Tommy jerks a thumb towards the door.]


There's a big arcade not far from here and it has to be less boring than this. You in?

[Ditch the movies to hang out with juvenile delinquents:y/n?]
shacklebreaker: (this evidence is balderdash)

[personal profile] shacklebreaker 2015-03-13 11:16 am (UTC)(link)
Imitating me ill suits you.
ridethathippo: (I listened to Jaden rapping)

[personal profile] ridethathippo 2015-03-13 11:44 am (UTC)(link)
... [There's some mixed messages going on initially, so Yuya doesn't give a response. His actions say more. His duel disk is out and sets to his arm, but his hands are shaking and his breathing becomes haggard. Like he's really trying to fight the urge to....well, he's not exactly sure what he's going to get--

Oh? He's not quite gone yet, and he hasn't set his deck to start up the machine. Although when Yuya does speak, it's only to regurgitate information that he knows from his limited time with the dark duelist. ]


Academia sent soldiers from the Fusion dimension to Yuto's home in XYZ. They invaded, turned everyone into cards...Yuto's been fighting for years. Against Fusion...Academia...He came to Standard to save his friend too.

[Then, more quietly:] He's not here though, so why does it hurt?
psycholawgy: (the bomb is ticking. . .)

[personal profile] psycholawgy 2015-03-13 11:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ This princess is pouting, biting her spoon so the tail end is hanging by her mouth as she frets. ]
thatdamnknight: (true nobility is exempt from fear)

[personal profile] thatdamnknight 2015-03-13 12:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Flynn nods, fully in agreement with this sensible young lady. Changing the title normally may have sufficed but Lady Estellise's reputation is also on the line. He, as a the acting commandant, cannot permit for the princess' name to soiled!]

If we were to bring this to the attention of the proprietor here, I'm certain something can be done.
thatdamnknight: (an overflow of good converts to bad)

[personal profile] thatdamnknight 2015-03-13 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[fff, don't jackass to a man who just saw his princess doing unmentionable acts!! But Flynn, being Flynn, obliges in explaining. Briefly.]

The movie was supposedly about horses. Said horses were brutally slaughtered within 10 minutes and the rest of the movie proceeded to be grossly explicit pornography.

[Aka misleading to an unforgivable degree. Not to mention it had involved innocent ladies doing things which they would not do!! ...Okay, well, Judith and Rita he can't speak for BUT DEFINITELY NOT ESTELLISE.]
shacklebreaker: (hahaha u funny)

[personal profile] shacklebreaker 2015-03-13 12:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmph. Carry on making that face, and it will stay that way when the wind changes.

[...Something he probably told her more than a few times when she was a child, to tease her.]
psycholawgy: (T_T)

[personal profile] psycholawgy 2015-03-13 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That's very likely. She was only ever cheerful around Simon and Junie, anyway. ]

Well, [ takes out the spoon for another bite. ] it was your fault.
Edited 2015-03-13 12:30 (UTC)
shacklebreaker: (dotards dotards dotards)

[personal profile] shacklebreaker 2015-03-13 12:40 pm (UTC)(link)
For giving you well-intentioned advice? [SIPS TEA]
psycholawgy: (throwing glasses at the wall)

[personal profile] psycholawgy 2015-03-13 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She nods vigorously a couple of times. ]

Ja. Si. Oui.
Edited 2015-03-13 12:49 (UTC)
thatdamnknight: (not stepping o'er the bounds of modesty)

[personal profile] thatdamnknight 2015-03-13 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[if only it were something conjured up in a sleep deprived imagination. if only. but fine. he'll probably appear a lot less insane after providing some details. NOT EXTREME DETAILS NEVER but the bare basics (ugh bad choice of words. it almost makes that blush flare up again) can't hurt.

flynn takes a breath before breaking off into an explanation. his voice continues to sound a little nasally thanks to the napkin.]


One of the concessions they provided was something on horses. The movie itself was rather dull so I tuned it out to collect my thoughts, as foreign as the concept may sound to you.

[friendly jabs make horrifying recollections all the better. ...though really, yuri, you can stand to use your head a little more in general but that's another lecture for another day.]

The next thing I know there's a mass, graphic slaughter of the horses immediately followed by an extremely explicit orgy... [which still would not have been THAT bad but...] With Lady Estellise, Judith and Rita involved.

[some of the blush on his face had vanished earlier. well now it comes back and mount tomato lives up to its name once more.]
topscores: (pic#8259859)

[personal profile] topscores 2015-03-13 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I am always on time.

[His time, that is. And he's a growing teenager boy ok he wants more...but then again he probably skipped breakfast too.]

...Oh yeah? That's weird. No end of the world explosion because I left or anything?

[That. Came out wrong but if Nice notices it doesn't look like he cares too much, but that shouldn't be surprising either.]
masakados: (which is the truth?)

[personal profile] masakados 2015-03-13 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Naoki dusts a few spare screws from his fingers, looking back to Sun... and he laughs easily, stepping away from the robot. Though he does give it a few glances, as though to make sure it's not going to decide it's not through yet.]

Haha, don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'd have to work at it really hard to get me mad.

[At least the guy with ridiculous strength has lots of good humour eh--]

You all right, man? Your tail? [He gestures with one hand.]
shacklebreaker: (hmph)

[personal profile] shacklebreaker 2015-03-13 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Then I accept all responsibility.

... But your face is still stuck that way, you know. [Something must be very wrong in the world, if Simon Blackquill is the one telling another person to stop being grumpy.]
invisibleair: (Default)

[personal profile] invisibleair 2015-03-13 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Saber turned at that exclamation, her own face souring at the screen. This was definitely not in her memories, she would have never done such a thing! ]

It is a work of magecraft! what you see is not real!