[ It's hard to keep his mind together and force himself to think with just how much it hurts. But Nam Soon's voice cuts through the haze the pain creates in his mind much sharper than anything else - calling out his name, reminding that he has to hang in there. Because even with how much it hurts that he can hardly even see anything clearly, that his breath comes in sharp and short bursts, he can still hear his best friend speak. He can hear that tone in his voice that he's just saying that stuff to convince himself as well, even if they both know it's wrong. It's not okay, he's not okay, and the more Nam Soon speaks, the more it's obvious that he's falling to pieces over there.
Not that Heung Soo blames him in the slightest. He still remembers that time in that storage shed after all and just how much he himself freaked out at seeing the other passed out there and no one around to answer his yells for help.
Still, maybe this would have been slightly easier had it been the other way around. Because even with as mature and responsible as Nam Soon can be at moments, as he's suddenly turned out to be after these years of seperation, Heung Soo also understands more than anyone that out of the two of them, Nam Soon is just that bit more emotionally fragile - when he slips beyond a certain point, there's just no saving it from going off the rails. Like right now. And for once, Heung Soo isn't in any kind of position where he can at least try to help to pull him back, to keep him calm, to keep him from doing anything stupid or rash. It's already enough trouble to keep himself together here, to not just pass out from the pain in the middle of an unfamiliar street with a downright monster somewhere in this place.
Still, he tries - blindly he moves his arm (at least he's capable of doing that much without being in a world of pain) until his hand manages to find Nam Soon's by sheer touch, latching onto it immedaitely and squeezing tightly as if it's his life raft in a storm. Because it's not just for the other's comfort, it's for his own as well, really.
Because the thing that stuck with him the most from that night.. it's not necessarily the pain in his leg, not the look on Nam Soon's face as Heung Soo looked up at him.. it's his best friend's retreating back he spotted from behind that hospital window. Like this he can maybe make sure that doesn't happen again, because even with as shitty as all of this is already, his biggest fear is losing him all over again. He wouldn't be able to endure it a second time.
And as much as he wants to at least try to comfort his best friend or do anything to make the situation better, the pain in his leg forces him to more instinctive parts of his brain that are more easy to reach, and words escape from his lips half-mumbled before he even realises it. ]
i don't even know why i'm doing this to myself let alone to you
Not that Heung Soo blames him in the slightest. He still remembers that time in that storage shed after all and just how much he himself freaked out at seeing the other passed out there and no one around to answer his yells for help.
Still, maybe this would have been slightly easier had it been the other way around. Because even with as mature and responsible as Nam Soon can be at moments, as he's suddenly turned out to be after these years of seperation, Heung Soo also understands more than anyone that out of the two of them, Nam Soon is just that bit more emotionally fragile - when he slips beyond a certain point, there's just no saving it from going off the rails. Like right now. And for once, Heung Soo isn't in any kind of position where he can at least try to help to pull him back, to keep him calm, to keep him from doing anything stupid or rash. It's already enough trouble to keep himself together here, to not just pass out from the pain in the middle of an unfamiliar street with a downright monster somewhere in this place.
Still, he tries - blindly he moves his arm (at least he's capable of doing that much without being in a world of pain) until his hand manages to find Nam Soon's by sheer touch, latching onto it immedaitely and squeezing tightly as if it's his life raft in a storm. Because it's not just for the other's comfort, it's for his own as well, really.
Because the thing that stuck with him the most from that night.. it's not necessarily the pain in his leg, not the look on Nam Soon's face as Heung Soo looked up at him.. it's his best friend's retreating back he spotted from behind that hospital window. Like this he can maybe make sure that doesn't happen again, because even with as shitty as all of this is already, his biggest fear is losing him all over again. He wouldn't be able to endure it a second time.
And as much as he wants to at least try to comfort his best friend or do anything to make the situation better, the pain in his leg forces him to more instinctive parts of his brain that are more easy to reach, and words escape from his lips half-mumbled before he even realises it. ]
... Don't leave.