The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Hiyori Iki | Noragami
[ There are many unfortunate ways to die in life, but few of them are so unfortunate as to involve a pair of sweaty tracksuit pants. Fortunately, those occasions are rare. Unfortunately, one of those occasions is... now. Yes, you heard right: the murder weapon, currently lying in this girl's hands, is a pair of black, sweaty gym pants. ]
Wha...
[ She is too busy being REALLY CONCERNED about the fact that— ]
If I have Yato's pants... then... Is Yato not wearing his pants somewhere?
[ --to have noticed the dead body behind her OR you. Yet. Enjoy. ]
{ii}
[ Here in this set of hallways, you encounter a young girl, seemingly in high school if her uniform is any indicator . The portrait of a fat, older man is in the process of berating her. ]
Young lady! Just what do you think you're doing with some boy's pants? It's obscene!
[ She holds her hand up to her mouth (well, with one of them anyway; the other still clutches said pair of pants) and looks—well—predictably alarmed. ]
I-I'm so sorry, sir! I know it's un-lady-like, but—
[ The portrait of a woman with white hair in beehive style cuts her off in order to berate her. ]
I know what she was doing! Murdering the poor butler! Hast thou no shame!? Trollop!
[ She turns around to face her new accuser, looking outright bewildered. ]
I—err—what? I don't... what does that even mean?
[ A third portrait of a couple, neither that old, dressed to the nines in a suit and a glitzy ball gown, get in on it too. ]
So this is what's become of our grand house! Degrading to the control of an uneducated, violent, libidinous heiress! Woe is us! Our house has fallen!
[ Her protests are becoming increasingly frantic by now. ]
E-Excuse me!? But this isn't even my house!
[ Perhaps you could be so kind as to help even up the odds to 2 vs 3? ]
{iv}
[ Of course Hiyori would be lured by the sound of someone crying! She doesn't even suspect it's a trap until the lights suddenly go off. still, it's not the darkness itself that gets her to run, but the fact that she's being chased!
Sure, she could fight back, but--somebody's been murdering people around here! They mean business. No amount of her frankensteiners or choke holds are going to help with that. Running seems like the best option here. That, and calling for-- ]
Help! Somebody help!
[ Surely somebody other than this crazy person chasing her (or those wacky portraits) will hear.
She can't really see where she's headed, but then again, she's also not really looking. so it should be of no real surprise, then (except to everyone involved) when she runs straight into you. Because, you know. it's dark in here! ]
hello i woke up from a nap just to tag u; i
Yato's pants? [ It wasn't that weird of a weapon. You could have easily used to strangle someone but...that's definitely not what she's worried about. Interesting. ]
Is that the name of someone that you know?
\o/
Definitely, if one were to die by a pair of pants--they wouldn't want it to be Yato's. ]
Yes! He's my friend. Have you seen him here? I think he might be missing these...
[ She holds the pants--which, by the way, surely must stink of some serious body odor--as though he needs to get a better look at them. She still hasn't noticed that Very Dead Body yet. Give it about one more tag... ]
welcomes u into my arms
I haven't heard of anyone by that name.
[ Giorno's too polite to comment on the odor even if he desperately wants to. Instead, he'll take a step away from the offending pants and also sort of avoid stepping on the body as well. Hiyori might not realize that there's a dead body, but Giorno's completely calm about the whole ordeal. ]
However, it shouldn't be too hard to spot someone here who may be missing their pants.
/swan dives in!!!
Oh, you'd be surprised.
[ 'My friend is a god and can't be seen by most normal human beings. Even if he's going around pantsless...' Yes, that will get her locked up for sure. No wonder her grandma never said anything! ]
He's sort of a strange guy. He has a way of, uhm, going unnoticed. Which is kind of ironic, for a guy that loves attention so much...
no subject
Is that so? [ He'll tilt his head and give her a bit of a look. ]
Does he have the ability to disappear on command? Or have some sort of cloaking ability? [ You're not going to be called crazy here, Hiyori, especially when you're talking to someone who has an embodiment of his fighting spirit that creates life whenever it punches/touches things. ]
/2
Uhh... no. No, nothing like that, exactly...
[ Well, he can teleport. But the whys and whens have never really been made clear to her... ]
He's just... it's really, really hard for him to get people to see him.
[ Because he's a spirit. Not technically... living... as it were. ]
I should probably try to find him myself--
[ She takes a tiny step back ]
no subject
A BODY!?
[ And it's... not her own?! What's going on here?!
Momentarily stunned. ]
no subject
Not that he has time to comment given how she finally realizes the body. ]
Yes, did you just realize? [ He's way to calm about this. ]
The murder weapon seems to be the pants that you're holding. However, given your reaction, it appears that you weren't the one who did it.
[ It's also all one huge ""game"" and it seems like CERES to want to pin a murder on a girl like her. Granted her reaction is interesting. She's not nearly as panicked as he would have expected... ]
no subject
Quick! Do you have a cell phone? We need to call an ambulance! And the police! Do you know CPR? My father was going to teach me but--I still don't know how!
[ If only she had her school bad. Why doesn't she have her school bag? In fact--how did she get here? Finally the absurdity and strangeness of the situation is hitting home--and it's not helping. ]
no subject
Eventually he'll reach out to touch her on the shoulder, with the hopes to calm her down. ]
This is part of the game. The person who died here wasn't real, and while it's unfortunate that it happened—there must be something else we need to accomplish.
no subject
[ Is he NUTS? That is clearly--very very clearly--a real body. A very real dying, maybe already dead, body.
Again she's stunned into still silence. Not that it's liable to last long. Death, a game? ]
no subject
This is something known as a ViViD&mdadsh;it's a game that the people here, CERES, have their residents here play. They're all different and seem very real. [ He's going to gesture to the "dead" body. ] However, it's all fake.
[ Fake but nevertheless unsettling so he doesn't judge her from her reaction thus far. If anything, she's taking it extremely well. ]
no subject
[ No, literally, that's all he gets. She's that thrown. ]
no subject
[ Simulated, really, but in the end it's still fake. ]
no subject
[ It doesn't seem possible. Wouldn't something like that require... a super computer? She's not into VR or video games like Yukine. It definitely doesn't seem like the kind of thing she'd ever agree to. In fact-- ]
How come I can't remember signing a User Agreement?
no subject
User Agreement? [ What is she talking about? ]
And as for how, that seems a little confusing but it seems that we are copies of our original selves that have been lost due to questionable circumstances. [ Sorry if you were hoping for a better explanation, but this is not Giorno's stronger of points. Besides, he doesn't care for the background but more of what he can do to solve it. ]
They'll explain it to you soon enough.
no subject
...
She'd be safer with Yato, pants or no pants, wouldn't she?
In a way that aims to be subtle but most certainly isn't, Hiyori begins to edge toward a door. ]
'They?' They, who?
[ Is it a cult? It's a cult, isn't it? ]
no subject
CERES. They're our supposed saviors.
[ Kind of like a cult but more like Big Brother.... ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
i
[....Did the victim die of tackiness? Well, she's from Ace Attorney. She can roll with this]
Woah! A double-murder?! This Yato person might die of embarrassment if he's not wearing them!
[squints at the pants]
...Or maybe he'd die of embarrassment if he was wearing them....?
/2
Double murder?
Re: i
Did some--
[ Her foot hits an object on the floor, and she looks down to see... ]
A DEAD BODY!?
no subject
[She gestures to the dead body, still cheerful for some reason even as Hiyori's freaking out.]
I guess you're my investigation partner, huh? I never thought it'd be another cute teenage girl!
no subject
[ what is happening here WHAT IS HAPPENING there is a body a dead body whyyyyyyyy is she so calm??? ]
What are you talking about? How can you be calm at a time like this?! We--we have to do something!
[ BUT WHAT, is it too late for CPR? Shock paddles?! ]
no subject
Don't worry! This is all virtual reality. Nothing to worry about.
[no Maya, it's lots to worry about]