The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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keith | voltron
[ so yeah, sure, keith has a jump rope in his hands. and maybe the dead butler in front of him (who he’s crouched over with one hand checking for a pulse) has some pretty suspect looking marks around his neck, but. like. that’s not on him.
good thing he has an amazing defence for when those double doors open up. see, this is his cue! flatly: ]
… Come on. [ g o d. ] Look, whatever you’re thinking about this is wrong.
[ NAILED IT! ]
II — MULLETS ARE IN, SHUT UP
[ keith’s life is really hard. it all began on one fabled night, where an experience with a flying lion— okay, no, that has very little to do with the situation right now (he thinks), but he’s very used to having to go “why” when circumstances are thrown at him.
especially considering his company at times! this part of his misfortune might in fact be related to his current predicament, because that sure is a familiar voice grilling him, as he stands there somewhat frustrated and wondering what the heck is going on.
he doesn’t like getting pestered on a regular day, but it’s double “what did i do to deserve this” when he’s got to take it from lance. or. well. not!lance. portrait lance.
again, what did he do to deserve this. there’s a comment resembling something like “i know you did it because you were jealous of his hair. like, that mullet… yours, i mean. not his.” before keith just turns to the painting, and: ]
I know you’re not him, but you're doing an almost convincing job of it. What is your obsession with my hair? Who would even kill someone for that?
[ like talking back is going to do anything but GOD
HE JUST WANTS TO THINK (NOT BROOD) IN PEACE. ]
IV — SPOOPY
[ he's just being super tested here. he’s had enough of creepy residences and running in the dark while something’s trying to chase you (probably) so excuse him if, upon you seeing him and him seeing you, there’s a red sword outstretched and aimed in your general direction.
he’s having a bad day. also has some paranoia issues, probably, when thrust into the unfamiliar. don’t blame him. ]
I have nothing to do with that’s going on here, so why are you chasing me?
[ fuck the butler association tbh ]
wildcard
[ whatever you like! ]
I
...you know, I actually believe you, because I cannot believe an actual murderer would be that bad an acting in the face of all of this.
no subject
and his instinctive reaction is to lean forward a tad in william's direction, somewhat defensive, and: ]
What? How is that bad acting? That's exactly what anyone should say when someone just walks in—
[ wait. no, he shouldn't be fighting this. he's so confused and kind of wound up about this entire situation that that just kind of slipped out. ]
—Fine, okay. As long as I don't have to deal with defending myself for something I didn't do. [ yyyyeah. ] Where is this place?
no subject
First off, I would drop the jump rope if I were you. Otherwise people less discerning than I will get the wrong impression.
[And now onto the important part.]
You are inside ViVid. It is a virtual reality game that is popular here in Cerealia. Did you watch a powerpoint before coming here? Or do I need to explain more?
no subject
Or they can get one already from me being the only one in a room with a body, real or not.
[ like. if they're going to come to conclusions anyway, that's definitely the quickest thing to judge on. at least he's taking the words given to him, which is a rare occurrence. mainly he just doesn't feel like holding onto a jump rope that maybe-virtually-killed someone, so he's putting that down beside mcdeadbutler.
and yes, this is real-maybe-not, but he pauses over the corpse for another second anyway before turning his attention back to william. ]
I got it. [ all of it sounded major fake, suspicious, choose your other words of choice but he won't state the obvious right now. oh wait: ] And what else I got from that and this is that "being off" is how this entire place works.
[ william is also included in this list but this is just healthy caution, okay. ]
no subject
[Even if this is just a stupid ViViD session, it should be taken seriously, totally!
William is sure this guy will be proven in innocent though, since he doesn't seem like the type to commit murder. Too normal looking and all that.]
Well yes, everything is off here. This place and you and I.
[It's like Alice in Wonderland really, though he would never describe himself as mad.]
I - KEITH! 8D
[At least Honey Lemon is giving you a vote of confidence, Keith.]
Although... I guess this level's objective is that you're gonna need to prove you're innocent.
[No pressure.]
honey 8)
he'd be a little more "uh. ok that was suspiciously easy" if the rest of her comment didn't make him pause. level like... training level?? he doesn't remember about any events leading up to this, which is.
you know. weird. adding comments like that is double weird. ]
Prove I'm innocent.
[ he's repeating this like he doesn't believe her. which is kind of lame considering she believed him, but. again, levels??
his gaze goes to the jumprope in his hands, and down to the body. ]
You're making this sound like some kind of simulation.
[ which is probably better tbh having someone actually be dead would suck ]
8) I am excite for all of these Voltron peeps omg <3
[Honey, why do you sound so unsure? XD]
Yeaah, welcome to ViViD! [And there's a flourish with her arms! Very energetic, this girl.] Where your first game is usually the glitchiest.
[beat] Which I mean that it'll be hard to log off. Well, more like you can't log off. [Tapping her chin.] Not until the objective is cleared, anyway.
ME TOO!!
something along the lines of "am i really supposed to believe this" and "i can't believe i'm actually believing this, kind of". ]
And that's to... prove I'm innocent.
[ again.
with the slightest bit of disbelief. it's after that's said and done that he crosses his arms, the hand holding the ""murder weapon"" slightly outstretched between them. ]
I'm having a hard time seeing the point here, but all right. [ ... ] If that's how it is — you're here, you believed me, I proved it. Isn't that it?
[ he didn't even have to do anything ]
>A< <33 ah, and hover over the Spanish for a translation! 1/2
Yeah, more or less. [She heaves a breath, briefly glancing at the corpse before looking down at the keypad of her Power Purse and punching down the chemical compound she needed.]
I guess this means you haven't seen the power point yet, huh? [Keith might hear a small whir of machinery coming from the purse Honey is carrying, following by a ding sound.] That's okay! Neither did I when I first got here. My friend managed to tell me the basics about ViViD at least.
[The blonde takes out something from the side of the purse, a small ball filled pale yellow fluid. She then takes the ball in both of her hands, twisting the ball a bit until it click and Honey shook it. The ball was suddenly glowing, making it easier to take a closer look at the body.]
2/3 Oops one more.
[She smiles, happy to see her experiment with the chem ball went well. Now they have a little light source akin to those light sticks used in concerts and raves but Honey made it much brighter.]
¡Ahí está! [She usually slips into speaking Spanish when excited. Satisfied, Honey Lemon looks up at Keith, grin in place.]
Much better. [He can probably see her suit a bit more clearly now.]
Done
[She starts to circle around the area that Honey assumes to be the crime scene so that she can check on what state the room is in. There was definitely a sign of a struggle from what she was able to ascertain so far. A few chairs have been pushed over and a table cloth was pulled down and taking a few breakable valuables with it, decorating the floor with shattered glass.]
I've always thought that the first ever game you ever play in ViViD is like being hazed as part of a club initiation. I know, not exactly nice. I almost got eaten in my game.
[YEAH... that was. A thing.]
no subject
ah. that's. something.
the suit is one thing. the ridiculousness of this situation continuing to escalate is another thing. questioning strikes through his expression for just a moment, past the irritation and frustration that's been causing premature wrinkles for the better part of who knows how many years. ]
I don't know what I should be asking more questions about here: you, or this place. [ keith that's rude
but no really she's Odd. he'll take the "let's investigate" prompt, however, and look around for hints of what happened here just as she does. for the most part, however, his gaze is carefully trained on her now and then. ] I saw the presentation.
[ mentioning that after a small pause to let his horrible insult (not) sink in. he didn't believe it, of course, and his tone says as much.
tinfoil hat on overdrive. ]
no subject
His "insult" though? Honey responds to it with all sincerity:] Well, I'd be happy to answer questions about both!
[She's well-aware that their entire situation is strange and here she is, this random person appearing out of nowhere, believing in his innocence without question and is now helping him clear his name. She is also starting to notice that Keith is being wary of her, making her think that he's someone who doesn't trust other people right away. (in other words, the complete opposite of her). That doesn't deter Honey Lemon from helping him out, however. In fact, she's more determined to prove he didn't murder this butler so that he will be able to log out of ViViD by fulfilling this game's objective.
[Kneeling down on the floor now and looking over the body.] I'm not exactly a trained medical examiner. [Gah. She wishes Baymax was here!] Chemistry's more my field of expertise but I can give it a shot.
[beat]
The victim died due to asphyxiation. I can't really pinpoint the time of death since ViViD just plopped this here but I can hazard a guess that it's been an hour or so since then. He was strangled to death using that jump rope. [She shines the light on the murder weapon.] Which is really odd since that's really an inefficient way to kill someone. I guess this is why those assassins in movies use fishing line instead as a method for killing which in turn means that whoever did this isn't a pro. [She then shines the light on the marks on the butler's neck.] Anyway, there was a sign of a struggle and this person had to be knocked down in order for the jump rope to be even wrapped around his neck like this. [Moving the light so they can see how messed up this guy was, his face had bruises from possibly being punched and his clothes were all wrinkled and disheveled.]
Whoever the real culprit was, they wanted this poor man to suffer before he finally died...
no subject
anyway. they're getting onto business, and tasks in front of him are a lot easier to deal with than strangers he doesn't really understand and situations that seem like a whole lot of bs. ]
Struggle...
[ that's crunch underneath his feet, from where he steps on glass as he mumbles pensively to himself as she speaks. ]
Suffering or not, the biggest thing is that they killed him. [ so, simulated assholes, no matter what. ] Whoever did this's got to have some kind of injuries on them. This place is a mess.
[ at least he's not fighting her observations. ]
1/2
Her expression lights up when Keith mentioned that detail about the culprit having injuries, too. That's a very good point!]
Yes! ¡Exactamente! They should look worse for wear while you... [She gives him a quick glance.] Nope! Not a scratch.
[Definitely a point in his favor.]
2/2
Say, are you left-handed or right-handed?
1/2
[ she is also a fan of peppering her speech with words he doesn't understand??? stop this, honey lemon, you are just constantly propelling yourself through keith's "why" list, just like lance does. ]
2/2
moves nearer to whatever she's checking out, drops into a crouch, and then...
raises his right hand up to chest level. helpfully. before he props his right arm on his knee. ]
Not that I can't use my left hand fine, if I need to. [ don't admit that in a murder game keith ] Why?
omg poor keith XD /pats him
interrogateinterview Honey Lemon all you want later when/if you two finally log out of ViViD. She wasn't kidding when she said she would be happy to answer any of his questions XDShe looks over her shoulder to see which hand he raised, nodding. What she took from that though was even though he was ambidextrous, he favors his right hand most of the time.]
Well, whoever the murderer is, [She glances back to the corpse, raising her free left arm while she shines the light on the right of the butler's body.] They were left-handed.
[She lowers her left arm, pointing towards to the right of the man.] I noticed that there are more bruises on the right side of his face, and his clothes are more wrinkled on the right side as well. [She lowers her arm a bit more, resting it at her side while her hand rests on her knee.] After knocking him down, it would seem the victim wasn't fully unconscious yet, so the culprit had to pin him down while wrapping the jump rope around his neck. And there's a slight indent on his right cheek, from the rod of the jump rope pressing into the skin.
[That looks like irrefutable proof of innocence right there.]
II. SORRY I'M LATE TO THE PARTY it's a very fine mullet
[ Unfortunately, the stairs move and she very nearly crashes into the portrait of Lance that he's arguing with.
"Pidge, back me up here. C'mon, you know what kind of evil mastermind lurks underneath a mullet." And Lance's picture reaches out to elbow her in the side, nudge-nudge-wink-wink-buddy-buddy-like. Pidge leaps out of the way just in time. ]
Um. It's good to see you safe.
no you're just on time, hairflip
Pidge—
[ okay, maybe not a hint, he's quickly turning in the direction his name is coming from, and then... yep, there she is. almost crashing into their fake-o friend as he moves to avoid being part of that collision. they're all doing well here.
and portrait lance is complaining about being ignored, but who cares about him. ]
I don't think we can say that just yet. [ unknown surroundings that change? reminiscent of crazy homicidal castle with less murder (except the kind they're blamed for)? near death (not) by running into not!lance?? ] ... But. Yeah. Same to you.
[ that's a genuine statement. he doesn't say it out loud, but it's good to have a familiar face too. ]