The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
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PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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no subject
Some worry prickles at his heart, because he remembers what Integra told him once about Trucy in another world. But he's refused to believe what he's heart. It's hard enough to accept the ways that he's failed the people in his charge here in Cerealia. Either way, that matter's to the side for now, as he simply takes in what Trucy has to say.
...And then, takes in Trucy herself, in a hug that is tight and warm. You'd think she was gone for years rather than a month, but to Phoenix it truly felt the same. She was alive and well despite his greatest feels, and holding her in his arms cemented that more than anything else.]
I... I missed you too, Trucy. And I have a lot to tell you too. What you say - it makes more sense than you think it might.
But we still do have to deal with the matter at hand...
[Part hug, part huddle, Phoenix than continues on to speak as part of their huggle.]
...I'm sorry that you had to experience that, Trucy. But there's a good chance that this isn't really real to begin with. It may just be a game that we have to play with. Either way, this is nothing ordinary or rational. And I have a feeling that this is like a... a kangaroo court. Except outside of the courtroom. A kangaroo case? Nevermind.
The point is, this whole case might just be a big bluff. ...But what's one thing that we Wrights do best?
no subject
She's realizing very quickly that this is going to be no different. The only difference is the one that matters the most: her dad remembers her this time around, he's not young and weirded out by the fact he's a dad, and that's honestly enough for her.
She peers up at him, nodding. Of course they had to deal with this situation first. It's not like they're going to be able to just walk away from this. Maybe. ]
...Not real? Well, that's good! Then they should just let us go! [ She's pretty tired of people making her play 'games' she doesn't want to at this point, and she can only imagine Phoenix feels the same way. ]
...We bluff better than anyone else. We turn cases like this upside down. [ And handle eating the saltiest of noodles better than everyone else, point fingers at people better, there's a whole multitude of things... ]
no subject
They should. But even if it such a game, I doubt they'd let us go do easily...
[He cracks a warm smile at her.]
But you're wright on the money. Why don't we try giving ourselves the best defense that we possibly can?
no subject
[ That's an option too, isn't it? Just don't play the game. Of course, that could hail some consequences if they're not careful... at least, she's assuming it could.
It's good to see that smile again, and she's quick to flash one right back at him. He's right... but first thing's first. ]
Okay, daddy! But uh, I should apologize for... you know. Pointing and trying to pin this on you. To be fair, I didn't recognize you completely at first glance...
[ Was she going to try to pin it on a complete stranger? You bet she was! Because she knows she didn't do it. Anyways, court works like that in their world, so why not here? ]
S-so I'm sorry! Although, you know, you can really pull that look off!
no subject
[It's okay, Trucy, it's legit to accuse the other person, because they're usually the culprit. Especially in a tutorial case!]
There could still be problems if we try to wait it out. Why don't we see how far we can get with bluffing and then figure things out from there, alright? [He gives a reassuring smile.]
no subject
She beams at him again, nodding in agreement. If it's bluffing these people want, then they have met their match with the Wrights. ]
Okay, daddy!
[ This may or may not turn out well. It's at this point her expression turns serious, and she points at the non existent judge. ]
HOLD IT! The issue here isn't who was murdered or why. The real issue here is... do you know the Muffin Man?
[ Because this is what this 'trial' is going to devolve into now. She'll take the focus away from the dead people and take it to a whole new level! Because really, this is her way of bluffing. ]
His crime of stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar is atrocious at best! While we're here, he's still out there somewhere, pillaging cookies!
no subject
That's right! [Phoenix backs up her objection without missing a beat and points right at the judge as well.]
Furthermore, do you have any response to the allegations that he lives on jury lane?!
[The judge just seems absolutely baffled by all of this...]
no subject
And your honor, the crumbs in your own beard are very ominous. Rumor has it the Gingerbread Man went missing last night...
[ She tries to lean against the desk, except there's no desk to lean against so instead of looking cool she has to struggle to keep her balance for a moment. ]
Did he scream, your honor, as you were biting his head off? Did you take a visit to Jury Lane? I think the real culprit here... is the judge! The evidence stacks up against him! I'd like to indict his honor for the murder of the Gingerbread Man and plotting the kidnapping of said cookie with The Muffin Man!
no subject
I have no choice but to concur with Miss Wright. You might have thought your alibi was sealed tight, but you left a trail of cookie crumbs and your hand is in the jar!
[A close up.]
Admit the truth!! This is just... How the cookie crumbles!!
[Is the judge actually starting to break down?!]