The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Colette Brunel | Tales of Symphonia
[ It's the perfect crime scene. The butler, dead, on the floor. The young lady standing beside it, looking .... incredibly confused and holding what seems to be a giant casket over her head. Where did she get that thing? It clearly doesn't match the scene at all! The casket comes in later, at the funeral. And how the hell is she holding it up? It looks incredibly weighty, something six men may need to carry together but she doesn't seem the least bit strained. ]
Ah... ah, um. Oh dear.
[ She's looking down at the body and then up again, so so flustered, and feeling incredibly bad despite the fact that she doesn't even remember... hurting this person! ]
It looks like I've made a grave mistake...!
[ THIS IS NO TIME FOR PUNS, COLETTE. Panicking, she steps back, accidentally smacking the casket into the wall. Oh dear. ]
I'm so sorry, I don't even—um, maybe he's just sleeping? He could be sleeping, right?
ii. "are they supposed to do that??"
I—I'm not sure, actually, but I think I've been framed.
[ The paintings aren't letting her off so easily, though. You're not framed like we're framed, they shoot back, and she flails her hands up and down. ]
Of course not! I'm sorry, I'm not a painting, it was wrong of me to use that phrase. But I really don't think it was me! Gosh... maybe it was me. I'm so, so sorry.
[ Catching someone else approaching out of the corner of her eye, she waves her hands and tries to flag them down. ]
Excuse me! Excuse me, um, could you please arrest me for murder? Is that how it's supposed to work here? I feel terrible.
iii. "please act like you didn't hear that"
My most embarrassing secrets? Ah... w-well, if that's what the stairs want, then I should... do that, shouldn't I?
[ Clearly her throat lightly, she leans over the railing of one of the stairs and cups her hands over her mouth so that they all can hear. ]
Hello! My name is Colette Brunel and—telling you some of my secrets!
[ This is so terrible, goodness. Blushing, she presses her hands against her cheeks. ]
I... oh. This is harder than I thought.
Okay..! I've never had a first kiss!! Um. I... sometimes, I pretend I'm a dragon! And—sometimes I'll tell people I'm allergic to bell peppers when I actually just hate them.
[ She's so sincere and everything is terrible. ]
iv. "holy guacamole"
[ Suddenly, it's dark, and she's running. Terrified. Somehow the hallway keeps winding on and on with no end. What's going to happen? She's still not sure if she actually murdered someone but still. She has duties; she can't die here!
Those are more or less her thoughts when she runs straight into someone. ]
W—Watch out...! I'm... I'm a ... badass! So please don't try to kill me!
[ She sounds not at all convincing. ]
iv
( When Soleil is caught off guard by someone running into her and knocked off her feet, she assumes it is someone large--after all, whoever it is seems pretty strong to hit her with that much force! So think of her surprise when she hears the sweet voice that could only belong to a girl only a bit smaller than her. )
--O-Oh, whoa, whoa. Slow down there.
( She gets back on her feet quickly enough. )
I'm not going to hurt you, much less kill you. Me, on the other hand, might not survive if you come charging into me a second time.
no subject
Which is why she ends up patting her hand against Soleil's face. It's an accident. ]
Oh, I'm sorry! Um, sorry again!
[ She already feels terrible about supposedly causing one murder. She's not looking to cause two. Even if it's sometimes inevitable on her journey, right now there's no reason! ]
It felt like something was chasing me. It's—a little hard to explain...
[ In fact, she still feels it now. ]
Still, I should have watched where I was going!
no subject
Hehe. This isn't the first time meeting a girl has made my legs go weak, but it's never been quite like this.
( She is cursing the lack of light more now than ever. She would really like to get a clear look at the owner of this voice. )
No need to worry anymore, okay? I something is after you, then I'll protect you.
( Seeing as a smile or a wink wouldn't do much good here, Soleil reaches out and manages to find the top of the girl's head to give it a few pats. )
ii.
You must be joking.
[SHE WANTS HIM TO ARREST HER FOR MURDER........ really. How can anyone be this pure.]
no subject
Not at all. I should pay for my crime! Um, I'm not sure it was me, but I'm not sure it wasn't me, actually. So there's still a chance it was.
[ God, that logic. Makes sense to her though. So genuine. ]
So, please!
no subject
Also people don't usually demand to be arrested.]
You didn't kill this person. This person is not even real--it's nothing more than a simulation. Now enough of this farce. Are you finished being ridiculous over something that doesn't even matter?
[Sorry... Colette....]
III
Either way, Lee, can't let her do this on her own. He's on a different staircase, but then he does a series of flips to land near the girl where she stands and shouts after he lands.]
No!! Please, do not give in like this! Miss... I will carry this burden instead!! [Some of his worst secrets?! The bowlcutted young man turned red as he tries to remember!]
no subject
Oh my!
[ So brave. A real hero! She clasps her hands, eyes shining. ]
That's so kind of you. But, there's no need for both of us to carry it! Please, allow me to help you as well. I've already given them some of my secrets!
[ Secrets which are apparently way too tame and boring for the stairs. ]
Ah... even though it looks like they didn't like mine very much...
no subject
I saw. You tried your best, and I admire that! I will not stand in the way of your own endeavors. So I would be glad to join forces with you! As long as I can do my part in this effort...!
[He then takes a deep breath in preparation before he turns redder as he shouts out to the stairs:]
When I was younger, my jumpsuit tore in an embarrassing spot, while my peers were watching!!
1
He's definitely dead. Freshly dead, so his bowels haven't released yet.
[she isn't helpful in comfort, is she. but her tone is calm and steady, clinical.]
What we have to do now is make sure no one else gets hurt...right?