The clock strikes twelve. The gong of the grandfather clock in the foyer tolls out the time in slightly unnecessarily obnoxious loud noises. The ambiance of this old mansion demands respect, care, awe --
Okay, no, wait, why are you even in this stupid dusty house?
No reasons are forthcoming, because everyone knows that people just end up in places like this sometimes. That's just how the narrative device works. The hows and the whys don't matter -- all that matters is that you're all here, so you'd better get cracking and start exploring, because it's not like you can leave yet.
Or ever, maybe.
 Good day, sirs and madams. Might I interest you in a nice glass of blood...y mary?
|
PHASE I [ 02 15 ] All you see is white. The crash of thunder hits your ears next, punctuated by the piercing pitch of white noise in the background. After a few blinks, your vision comes back to you. Oh good, glad that you’ve joined us in the land of the living. Unlike the nondescript corpse at your feet – it looks like… a butler? Oh dear. You’ve already killed Murder Suspect Number One in most situations. How terribly ironic.
After all, who could’ve killed him but you? You might not remember, but there is definitely a murder weapon in your hand. It’s probably a knife or a poisoned glass of wine or-
Wait, is that a toaster? A full on toaster? Or maybe it’s a taser. Maybe you bludgeoned this poor guy with an entire encyclopedia. Either way, it looks like your murder weapon is a little unconventional, whether it’s a stranger’s pair of underwear or a hair curler. Are you really supposed to believe you committed a murder with these? (Yes.)
That said in the next second the double doors will be opening up. It’s pretty clear you’re not alone. Think quick!
PHASE II [ 0600 ] Exploring more around the compound, you’ll find plenty of those tall, oil portraits of people hung around the walls. When you start walking, they’re all strangers. However by the time that you feel like you’re wandering around for an hour, two hours, they might start looking a little bit more… familiar? Mom? Is that you?
You don’t have time to think about that, though. You were clearly framed! You don't’ have a motive for killing some random NPC –
“Or do you?” a portrait will ask.
Oh. Holy shit. Well it’d just be rude to leave, right? Whether you stick around for conversation or not, you’ll find that was just the beginning. The portraits are going to start grilling you. Welcome to CERES Central’s Roast of You. What was your motive? Don’t you know you should respect the servants? How would you feel if you were caught like that? Careful turning your back on them though, because if you ignore them for too long, the subjects in the portraits may just reach out and snatch you to join them in their portrait world.
At that point, the only way to get out is to swap places with some other poor, unsuspecting soul wandering around.
PHASE III [ 1045 ] You know what makes me hungry? Murder.
What’s the point of making a mansion this big anyway? Who’s even here? Either way, whether you’re looking for the kitchen to make a fine post-homicide sandwich or just trying to escape, you’ll eventually make it to a stairwell. The most finicky stairwell ever. Is that a trail of bloody footprints leading up the steps? What? No. Stop it, just climb.
Or well – don’t climb too quickly now. The staircases apparently have a mind of their own, swapping from one doorway to another. You definitely haven’t seen this before. It would seem that these stairs might even be interested in keeping you in a circle forever, no concern for whether or not you’re hungry or, god forbid, need to use the restroom.
However the portraits in the stairwell will provide a little tip: “The stairs are gossips, you know. Why don’t you tell us a little something about yourself? Make it good!”
Weirdly enough, sound advice – that is, if you’re interested in shouting out your most embarrassing secrets into the void so a mansion can keep talking shit about you. Oh well. Your alternative is just being a stair golem. There are worse fates.
PHASE IV [ 1430 ] This hall is oddly quiet.
Well, until you hear it – the soft sniffles coming from down the hall, the broken sobs. It sounds like someone’s crying. For one reason or another, your footsteps take you forward – there’s really no point in going back now after all, right? Yet as you continue to walk… walk… walk… the crying becomes louder and louder. More desperate, more despaired. In time, it’s clear that this person is wailing, screaming, “How could this happen?!”
Within the span of a breath, all the lights in the hallway go out, leaving you in pitch black.
It occurs to you then that you hear a second set of steps. When did you stop walking? A cold chill runs down your spine and you find yourself running then, despite the fact that it feels like this pitch black hallway goes on forever. The other footsteps pick up, remind you that you’re not alone. No, certainly not.
Best hope that you find some assistance soon – otherwise it looks like the Butler Association is going to ignite some righteous vigilante justice on your ass.
BONUS [ why o'clock ] You’re in the grand ballroom now, ready to present your case. Armed with a cob pipe (don’t smoke inside, it’s rude), a detective hat, and a single spotlight aimed right at you, you now have to explain how you came to the conclusion about the True Killer that is Obviously Not You. Rather, it’ll just be the character of whoever tags into this prompt – yes, you are suddenly so very sure that they’re the ones who are the ultimate mastermind of this entire game and… you’re just going to have to bullshit the reason why even if you know virtually nothing about them. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, you know?
Sorry about that.
Should you actually provide enough of a compelling case or they take pity on you, having a villainous breakdown for the sake of the plot, you’ll be awarded with a coupon that’ll give you three free scoops at your local ice cream parlor! (Note: you must buy the first two scoops in order to qualify.) Of course, if you’re not able to nail them down as the killer, you are obviously the killer yourself (citation needed).
From there, you’ll be dragged off to face your punishment: for six grueling hours you will be tickled mercilessly.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Pino | Ergo Proxy
[Pino can't say she really understands what's going on. There's a human on the ground and a lot of--blood? That's definitely blood. She knows that much about humans. And that sure is a bloodied wooden horse toy in her hands.
She stares blankly at it for a moment before dropping it carelessly, not seeing the connection here.
She steps up to the body and pokes it a few times before giving it a little shake.] Hey... Hey! Wake up! You're getting it all over the place! [She shakes the body again and then steps back, huffing in annoyance.] Did you power down? Where's your cord, we can just plug you in right?
[Humans work like robots right??]
[ Phase III]
[Who needs rest? Not Pino! She's been skipping up the stairs humming some nonsense song for probably like 3 hours now without rest or breaking a sweat. The portraits seem to be getting quite annoyed, actually, since she's pretty much ignoring their attempts to talk her into gossiping]
Not now! I'm playing! [Sheesh, rude... But they won't give up??
Pino stops at last and puts her hands on her hips] Pino is a companion-style auto-riev! That's all I have to say! [She doesn't really know any interesting gossip about herself, but suddenly she perks up and proudly announces:]
And Pino has a soul! A real soul! I gained one!
[nailed it.]
[ Phase IV ]
[Well, Pino isn't actually scared, but she kinda feels like she shouldbe? Like being terrified and crying or something would be expected of a kid?
She considers this a moment while listening to the footsteps. It's like a game of tag or hide-and-seek, only, you know. Creepier.
So she runs down the hall and, er. Yells?]
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.
[The yell is loud enough, sure, but it's entirely monotone, like someone who knows they should be screaming and what a scream, generally, sounds like, but there's no emotion behind it at all.
If she runs into anyone, she'll definitely feel a lot heavier than her tiny frame would make you think, and there's a soft 'oof!' of surprise.[
Oh! Are you 'it' now? It's hard playing tag in the dark!
threeeee!
[--She knows the little girl's synthetic without having to give a second look, of course, and even before she says anything. Synthetics know each other's tells; they know what to look for, what to listen for to find each other. It's enough that Sulla doesn't feel like she has to hide herself around this little girl.]
[As for Sulla? Well, the fact that she's hovering with jets from her feet might give her away.]
Auto-reiv? [She tilts her head, smiling more for Pino's benefit than her own. Sulla may have no idea how to deal with children, but she remembers what she was like as a child, and that might be good enough.] Is that what they call people like us where you're from?
no subject
Woaahh! So cool, so cool! I want to fly too! [Oh, wait, hadn't she asked a question? Pino grins easily and nods]
There's Companion-style, Entourage, and Knights! Aren't they called that everywhere?
no subject
[Are they forcing synthetics to fight there? That's so sad.]
So, I mean, I guess I'm more companion-style than either of those other two - though I sort of do my own thing, really. [Sulla opens her arms and kneels down, though, offering to pick Pino up. (Kids like that, right?)] You wanna fly with me? C'mon - we can take a tour of the mansion, and you can tell me more afterwards!
III
[ This stair thing is getting pretty damn irritating, and fast. Of course, it probably doesn't help that there's two sources for irritation, one of which being the nosey staircases and the other being a little companion style autoreiv who can't seem to just help or get out of the way. Re-L makes a growling noise in irritation, clinging to the nearest bannister as the stairs move on her for what feels like the eightieth time this evening alone, and, suddenly -
- The soul comment snaps her already very frayed patience.
And there goes Re-L, kicking the little autoreiv down the stairs. ]
It asked for gossip, not fairytales!
[ Re-L Mayer kicking small child-like robots down stairs: the reprise. ]
no subject
THIS RUDENESS??]
Meanie Re-L! [Her voice cries from below as she hurries back up them as fast as her little legs can carry her.] What if I kept falling forever!?
no subject
[ Re-L rolls her eyes at the dramatics, exasperated by the entire display of it all. Thankfully, for the moment, no one's really around to call her out about being a horrible robo-child abuser or anything, so for now she doesn't have to explain Pino's origins and why it isn't really all that bad to go kicking her down the stairs. ]
Then someone would have, eventually, realized how fake your screaming is! [ Just going to take a few more swipes at pushing her back down the stairs when she got close enough for good measure. ]
Phase III
Um... But what is an auto-riev? [It's not a term he's ever heard before. As it is, he also doesn't doubt that the girl must have a soul.]
Everyone's got a soul, y'know!
no subject
They're um... Machines, I guess. I guess others call them robots! [But she shakes her head] But machines don't have souls, until they do! I gained one!
no subject
Well that's really cool! You look just like a person! And, um, good thing you got a soul!